Guess what happened to me today? It was a typical middle-of-the week kind of day (dressed as male as I always am). I went to the gym to exercise and when done I got a message from my wife on my cell phone which said she wanted to talk to Steffie. Puzzled by this I called back and she said Steffie can come over and stay the night. So I thought: why not? Thus I came home, showered, put on my makeup (lavendar eyeshadow and nail polish and neutral lipstick) and slipped into my nightgown (purple). Mt wife came home and said she thought I looked pretty (and noted that the way I wore my bra made it look like cleavage
). Whoda thunk this would happen to me in the middle of the week? Tomorrow I'll have to get up earlier to take off my makeup so I can go to work.The reason for my post was that after my wife came home and complimented me on looks, I noted to her that she is accepting Steffie more and more each week (which I am glad), way more now than a few weeks ago (although she always did to a certain degree) and I had to ask her why. She said the reason now is that Steffie is more independent in that I can now get dressed alone and can even put on my makeup. She said before that when I asked her to do it, that I was too needy and that turned her off to Steffie. She never told me this outwardly before but kept it inside. When I used to ask her if everything were OK she always said yes.
The take home lesson for me is that if I am independent and not needy, then my wife will even be more accepting oF Steffie. She reasons (rightfully) that because as a male I am independent, then I should also be when a female. I never thouht of it like this before but boy is she right! Hopefully there is someone out there (that may be having trouble with their spouse) that has a similar situation to mine; so I thought I'd put this under the topic of coping and hopefuly if someone out there reads this, maybe if their wife is like mine and just wants a little independence, then maybe one my my sisters can get their wife or SO to better accept. I'm not saying that this is the only reason there is sometimes non-acceptance. If I can help one other girl out there where their spouse can better embrace their female side, then that will make me feel good. Take care.
Steffie
I think your wife is great for giving you such a positive stimulus to remind you that being independent is good. Needy is baad. 
Just kidding) I'm glad I pressed on. Alll part of the communication process, I think.