Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi girls,

Guess what happened to me today? It was a typical middle-of-the week kind of day (dressed as male as I always am). I went to the gym to exercise and when done I got a message from my wife on my cell phone which said she wanted to talk to Steffie. Puzzled by this I called back and she said Steffie can come over and stay the night. So I thought: why not? Thus I came home, showered, put on my makeup (lavendar eyeshadow and nail polish and neutral lipstick) and slipped into my nightgown (purple). Mt wife came home and said she thought I looked pretty (and noted that the way I wore my bra made it look like cleavage ). Whoda thunk this would happen to me in the middle of the week? Tomorrow I'll have to get up earlier to take off my makeup so I can go to work.

The reason for my post was that after my wife came home and complimented me on looks, I noted to her that she is accepting Steffie more and more each week (which I am glad), way more now than a few weeks ago (although she always did to a certain degree) and I had to ask her why. She said the reason now is that Steffie is more independent in that I can now get dressed alone and can even put on my makeup. She said before that when I asked her to do it, that I was too needy and that turned her off to Steffie. She never told me this outwardly before but kept it inside. When I used to ask her if everything were OK she always said yes.
The take home lesson for me is that if I am independent and not needy, then my wife will even be more accepting oF Steffie. She reasons (rightfully) that because as a male I am independent, then I should also be when a female. I never thouht of it like this before but boy is she right! Hopefully there is someone out there (that may be having trouble with their spouse) that has a similar situation to mine; so I thought I'd put this under the topic of coping and hopefuly if someone out there reads this, maybe if their wife is like mine and just wants a little independence, then maybe one my my sisters can get their wife or SO to better accept. I'm not saying that this is the only reason there is sometimes non-acceptance. If I can help one other girl out there where their spouse can better embrace their female side, then that will make me feel good. Take care.

Steffie

That's a new one on me Steffie. Hey, but congratulations!

That's great Steffie hope she continues to support your independence, but you know girls like to share make up tips as well as clothing trends, so don't get too independent
Virginia

Hi Steffie--
That IS great, but I feel like I'm missing a big part of the story. Things usually don't change too much if everything seems OK. What made you more independent, if she didn't push for it? Tell us how that came about, please!
Anita

Hi Steffie,

What you conquered is one of the most common pet peeves I hear SOs have with their husband's dressing.

"He wants me to dress him", "He won't get dressed, unless I tell him too", "He asks me if he can get dressed", "He wants me to always be attentive to him when he's dressed". These are only a few common complaints I hear from SOs about their husbands CD'ing, but they are in line with the theme of "needy CD'rs" I've read and heard about. I feel sorry for these women and my wife when I did it. I think your wife is great for giving you such a positive stimulus to remind you that being independent is good. Needy is baad. She gave you the ultimate reward to you for living your life with her as a CD'r, but also not always needing her to help you be you be you. Doing this can be very draining on an SO and you've just gotten over a huge hurdle.

I think it's great that your wife gave you a nice call and was upfront with who she wanted to see last night. That was so sweet.

Congrats on becoming more independent. It's not easy at all when you're so unsure about who you are, but you've managed to do it and your wife's reward last night is proof positive you're on the right track.


Beauty

Thanks Beauty. You pretty much hit the nail on the head.

In answer to your question, Anita, sometimes my wife keeps things inside and even if she says something is fine, it may not always be. Without going into detail, for a while my wife had my female things in storage during the time we had guests and I guess she had thought that Steffie was gone forever. I guess in her mind when I wanted to get my things back she was thinking: "Here we go again. I have to dress him, etc, etc". I'm sure at first she didn't want to hurt me and didn't say anything but my intuition told me something was not qite right. Is this what they mean by woman's intuition??? Just kidding) I'm glad I pressed on. Alll part of the communication process, I think.

I think you're right about getting too independent, Virginia. I still neede my wife for makeup tips. Thanks all.


Steffie

Hi all,

This is an interesting thread.

From the beginning of my adult femme dressing 3 years ago, I wanted to be able to choose my outfit, put it on and take it off without assistance, and I do it almost all the time. Once in a while my wife helps with a necklace, bracelet, or zipper.

I don't do makeup very often or very well yet, but my wife doesn't wear makeup. I'm satisfied with slow, steady progress.

My loving, supporting wife does give me advice from time to time. She lets me dress femme at home in her presence and usually comments on my choice of coordinating separates, shoes, wig, jewelry, etc.

Several times for church she has borrowed one of MY dresses and every time I feel so flattered.

Jadeanne