Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

Boy does this ever confuse the issue for me. I finally think I am beginning to understand my (twin) Sis (Virginia) a little more.

I think that the reason I do not want to attempt to pass is due to the fact that it won’t bring the results I need. And the same is true for transition.

I am (would be) unable to match the inner picture of what I would like to represent through passing. And the closer I am able to match that picture the more normal I feel. (Note new definition for normal)

What has revealed this truth to me is my avatars. They represent my mirror. They identify with the inner picture of how I would like to look, and feel. (This includes the body language) And it is not just this one picture, I have a dozen of them all Doctored up with my photo processing program, and will likely be alternating them from time to time when I feel that there will be a benefit to doing that.

My avatars are becoming the way I Pass. They are making a statement that has more to it than just presenting as a female. They are helping me to complete the picture. The image one presents has a direct influence on the finale product, thus the need to pass in one form or the other.

When Virginia says things like Virginia rules, I now understand that she is experiencing a healthy repression of the (dominate) male side, which allows her to become more balanced (IMO). As I identify with the mirror (re my avatar) I become mellower minded, and more of Darlene surfaces. That is impossible for me to achieve without encompassing that. Hey Sis how about that? Am I arriving or what?

That said I still see myself as being one person. It is just that our picture of what that person consists of needs to be challenged. (With in ourselves).

Comments?

Thanks, Hon, I think??
Well, I had a long day today, had to hang up on my wife with her totally weird acqusations, worked out in the sun (93 degrees) most of the afternoon, camehome ate a bit and wanted to see Virginia, or she wanted to see me??Puton my make-up, dressed and looked in the mirror and there she was!!!!! If I take my time, (and I get better seems each time) putting on my make-up and pick the right clothes and shoes and then look in that mirror, I see a beautiful woman!!! = Virginia. Attitude does not change from where I was several hours before, hot, sweaty, dirty, but ready to help anyone who I might cross lives with, but now in the mirror stands a woman, poised, relaxed, confident and still with the attitude of caring. Actually, I prefer to look at Virginia than the male but I guess there is no accounting for taste
I think where I am at is that I can now pretty much sustain a consistency in my attitude 24/7. I can not, do not, have not - whatever, dress 24/7, but when I do dress, like a lot of my sisters experience, it is relaxing, satisfying and very enjoyable. To take my clothes off this evening, put on a silky nightgown, crawl into bed -- it is fantastic!!!
I know you, Sis, are enjoying your journey, don't fight it, just let it happen, its wonderful!!
Love,
Virginia

Darlene,

I am very impressed with your personal growth, and glad to see you continue to strive to be fulfilled. IMHO, there really is nothing else.



Love always,
Elizabeth

Thanks Girls,

My cross-dressing had reached the point of becoming sort of so what, comfortable but not much else. As a result of this addition it has returned some very satisfactory and pleasurable feelings that I do not have to dress to the nines to accomplish. It is as though I am communicating to you all through these women that are in my avatars. It is an extension if you will. And it is wonderful; it is not just one picture (or woman) but many yet not all. There are some (pictures) that have no appeal which I am unable to use.

Being honest with myself, the "women" I refer to are pretty. So if I wasn't pretty would I be happy achieving the look of a woman? In all honesty, probably not.

The above quote was recently made by one of our Sisters, and matches my situation to a tee. The best that I would be capable of achieving would amount to a picture I could not use. So what does one do when they are unable to make themselves pretty enough to match their inner picture?

To all the analytical minds on this site (who have yet to respond) what’s your take on this?

Hi all,

Well folks, here is a further up date.

For the first time in my life (tonight) I experienced some of the same feelings dressed in drab that I do dressed in fem.

I visited some friends tonight who I have not seen in a while, and was told that I looked more sophisticated (their word… not mine) than the last time we saw each other. I know for a fact that I was much more relaxed than ever before in drab.

I now identify with what Gaby spoke about being able to feel the same way in a tux or a dress. No I have no intention of stopping cross-dressing, because it is through that and passing through these pictures that has resulted in this reality

Don’t ask me to explain why this is so. I can’t. Other than to presume that it is a more balanced position (for me). It is certainly something that I do not have a problem accepting.