Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

One theory has it, that maintaining a certain level of masculinity is stressful. That stress could tax ones body reducing its ability to handle health problems.

Comments?

Darlene wrote:... maintaining a certain level of masculinity is stressful...Comments?

Makes sense to me. I think it might relate to mens territorial instincts.
The "male" mind tends to see things in terms of conflict, which naturally lends itself to stress.

More generally, males are less attuned to their bodies. We're trained, for example by sports, to "push through the pain" and "ignore the injury."

I think yoga is a good way to help relax--an alternative, in a sense, to crossdressing.

Cathy

Maintaining anything is stressful, as well as giving up and not maintaining anything is also stressful, in a slightly different way.

First point - some degree of stress in helpful and normal. Excessive stress is very harmful.
Often, stress is our motivator to get off out butt and do something.

I think sometimes I take the least stressful alternative, sometimes I choose the best course of action, even if it involves a lot of immediate stress. None of that should 'tax the body' excessively, and none of it should impact the ability to properly address health issues.

I find maintaining proper weight and cholesterol levels very stressful. I find maintaining a level of masculinity in everyday life to be normal, and not stressful at all. Perhaps I define masculinity more in terms of being comfortable in the male role, than in displaying overt masculine appearance and behaviors. I am not out to convince anyone of my masculinity. I have all of the 'primary indicators' (which makes it very hard to appear feminine) and beyond that, I don't care what the general public thinks.

In this case, I disagree with the theory.

shenica

Could it possibly be that because men live longer (in well-developed countries anyway), we see more detrimental effects?

Suffering through 30 or 40 years defending your masculinity was probably stressful enough without adding another 10 years, another 20 years, another 30 years!

Also, becoming more 'global' brings more stress in that we have MUCH more stimulus to deal with than before.
When life revolved around making decisions for yourself, your wife, your children, the farm or hunting grounds, your clan/village... a man could deal with everything based upon time constraints made up by nature and not a timepiece.
As we've gained capabilities, opened up more of our lives to more of the world, and placed more demands upon our abilities to provide (more and more, 'unnecessary-necessities' ), we now have to cram in an incredible amount of energy and decision-making into self-imposed/invented time units.
Not much in our lives is driven by the seasons anymore. Where we were once creatures with two parameters in our day... light and dark, and four parameters in our lives... the four seasons, now we have the ability, capability, and pressure to accomodate a 24/7/365 schedule.
This applies to females as well as males.

I wonder what the historical stress levels are for women, considering the relatively short amount of time they have taken to 'running on the treadmill' with men?

The sports idea and territorial instincts Cathy brought up are part-and-parcel of being animal, and certainly males seem more predisposed towards these tendencies than females.

editing to correct some grammer...

also adding a comment...

To me, defending masculinity or anyone's gender is a natural thing.
We do things... talk certain ways, walk certain ways, dress certain ways ... partly because it helps define our gender.
So while I guess it might not seem like 'defending' in the sense that we are repelling an attack, I still feel the term defending masculinity is appropriate.
If the men here were not 'defending their masculinity' on some level, then I believe we'd all be going about our day dressed however we wished without regard to what other people thought... whether we might get 'read' or not!

I imagine there are plenty of women who feel being a woman is stressful also.

Think what a chore it can be for a woman with masculine characteristics (and I know some and they talk about it with me) to repress that.

Men die sooner than women. Perhpas evolutionarily speaking we are just designed for the short run, but more male fetuses self abort than females, and there aren't a lot of sex roles imposed in the womb

Andrea

Stress seems to be a detriment to good health, so if maintaining an appearance of masculinity is stressful for some then it's possible that maintaining an appearance of masculinity is a detriment to ones health.

I don't find ( or notice ) being masculine is stressful to me. It's everything else going on thats stresses me out, . Probably why I'm on BP and nerve meds, .

Hi all,

Thank you all for your very thoughtful replies. Now I would like to take this a little farther.

In part I wrote: One theory has it, that maintaining a certain level of masculinity is stressful.

The Key words here are "certain level".

For me the certain level that causes the shorter life span etc is the result of the overcompensating that most of us have done to hide who and what we really are. Man that crap is stressful baggage.

Also being the competitor is stressful, When I am dressed en-fem I am not competing. Were I to dress to pass then I would be competing with who I really am. And if successful...only to present as something else (that may be the other extreme) that also hides who I truly am.

Further Comments Appreciated?

The logical conclusin is that pretending to be something that you are not is stressful, and that placing unrealistic demands on yourself is stressful. For some of the folks here trying to fit into a traditional male role is stressful. for other folks perhaps trying to be less competitive and agressive is stressful.

Someone wrote a book on blood types and personality. I didn't agree with all of it but he said that (in his opinion) while some people will do best with yoga and meditation to reduce stress, others will do better with strenuou physical activty. An interesting thought which explains why we get different responses to questions like this from different people

Andrea

Hi all,

Darlene wrote: Were I to dress to pass then I would be competing with who I really am.

Well, the only conclusion to be drawn from that statement is, no more and no less, that you, Darlene, are not a person for whom the desire to pass is an essential ingredient of who you truly are. It's absolutely impossible to generalize anything from this conclusion. There are many on this forum for whom not dressing to pass would go against every fiber of their true selves (or, at the very least, against the expression of their true selves).

Not all apples are Granny Smiths.

Love,
CJ

You know if you leave a tiny hole someone steps into it.

OK CJ...Lets pretend that you are correct with your statement that: There are many on this forum for whom not dressing to pass would go against every fiber of their true selves.

Every fiber of their true selves??? hey?? Really? Well I guess then their jewels are not part of the fiber of their true selves hey? I guess the testosterone that flows through their bodies is not part of the fiber of their true selves hey? You are well aware that it would be easy to go on. As there are other things that we all posses that do not belong to a woman.

Just what else are you willing to deny to support your statement?

The intent of this thread was to look at the stress level involved and the consequences, yet we have those who prefer to erect a smoke screen. The quote you decided to challenge was purely a personal statement pointing to the stress that I would have to endure, if I were to believe those among our broad community that would like to convince me, that passing is what is entailed in order to be a successful cross dresser.

You have got to be kidding. Did I say all apples were Granny Smiths. I must have been sleeping. Please excuse me if I left that impression?

In the past many have said to me

" when are you going to start acting like a man "??

The key word here is "acting"

Because my whole male persona is an act , acting out how other men behave , copying what they do rather than just being myself.

When I let myself go they say "you're acting like a girl" , but I'm not really acting

I can act well so there is no stress

I cannot compete with or comprahend some mens interests and that can cause me to feel inferior resulting in stress

Hi Merinda,

Thanks for your honesty and sharing here.

A new book released, titled, 100 years Old : 24 Australian Centenarians Tell Their Strories (Penguin), gives some guides as to why these people believed they've lived a long life. Stress and the inability to handle stress and crisis seems to be one of the most common factors amongst people who don't live a long life.

Common traits and habits amongst the centenarians were :-


None were overweight whatsoever, was number one.

ALL had a sense of humour. Their ability to laugh was one of the most important ways of relieving any emotional stress.

ALL ate a simple diet with almost no processed food for their first 50/60 years.

Most had never smoked.

Most didn't drink alcohol or were very moderate drinkers.

Many ate 3 meals a day, including porridge for breakfast, meat and vegetables for dinner, lots of fruit and in earlier times desserts, cakes, bread, butter and cream were all home made.

Very few took any medication at all, with only a handful taking aspirin or other heart drugs much later in life.

Most had worked hard all their life and adhered to strict moral codes, creating a sense of order and control.

ALL had strong sense of resilience, allowing them to recover well from crisis and illness and adapt to change.
Although most lived through hard times, they had strong sense of self and learned to leave stress behind and move on. They talked of sadness, loss and grief but considered these feelings part of normal life.

ALL engaged with others, often with a strong family life and connections with neighbours and the broader community.
Mutual support of friends and family featured highly when dealing with stress and worries.

Most kept busy during times of crisis as a coping strategy, often involving a focus on caring for and giving to others.

Dr Kralik, one of the researchers for the book, acknowledged gentics also played a big part and ageing was a complex process. She also said that there's a tension that comes from being older and slowing down in a society that values youth, speed and productivity.

Medical discoveries also played a part in the number of Centenarians in Australia jumping more then five fold in 20 years, from 450 in 1981 to 2503 in 2001.


Kind Regards,

Sally.