It's been a while

Sonja · Post by **Sonja** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:58 am

I'm not even sure where to start. I've been catching up on some of the posts. This group has grown a lot!
I've had a lot happen this summer. The biggest thing was my wife cheating on me again. I was very upset in the beginning when she told me everything that was going on, after I pried it out of her. We're separated now and sharing the kids. I got over it fairly quickly, I guess we had drifted apart. We get along better now in separate housing. She claims she did it because of my CDing, even though half the time she said it was ok. I only underdressed around her and was discreet about it. She had a bad habit of always changing her acceptance of this. There were other unrelated issues as well.
The good news is I have the house to myself often, more privacy, more opportunity to dress, and I'm happier now. I can express myself as Sonja and explore myself more. Having the freedom to dress as I want at home now feels so liberating.
I also took the next step in my journey, by going to walmart (in drab) and shopped in the lingerie section. After some nervous circling of the area, I finally went in and started to shop. After a few minutes I started to relax a bit and enjoy it. No one seemed to take notice. I bought a nice pink nighty and two new bras.
I'm so glad I can start to move forward again with my life. I'm starting to get to know other like minded people online in my area. I hope to make some new friends.
Thank you for allowing me to get some of this out, as I don't have a lot people I can talk to about this stuff.

Sonja

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:47 am

Hi Sonja,

Welcome back.

It's great to see you again.

I'm really sorry about your marriage, but it does sound like you seem more content on the inside. You can talk to us anytime. We're here for you.

Again, it's great to see you back with us and congrats on getting out and purchasing things for yourself.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:34 am

Welcome back Sonja.

Good to hear you and your wife apparently still have an amicable relationship.

Your story makes me wonder how some think CDing is worse than adultry.

Bernice · Post by **Bernice** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 12:12 pm

She had a bad habit of always changing her acceptance of this.

This makes me suspect that the real issue was that she was never honest with you. In 29 years, our marriage suffered only two secrets, and wow, were they painful to deal with when they were exposed. No secret lasts forever.

Someone I thought was a friend (10 years) turned out to have cheated on his wife for those same 10 years. Then he pulled a real nasty legal trick on her when she survived Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. They did a paper divorce, he took all, she took bankruptcy. Now he's left her with nothing but enormous legal bills and a bitter fight for the kids. So now, she and I are friends and he is best forgotten.

People do crummy things. You can't change people. You can only be the best person you can be. I salute you.

You can talk to us anytime. We're here for you.

Absolutely.

Hugs,

Bernice

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:31 pm

Hi Sonja,

It certainly appears that you have the right attitude. Enjoy your freedom, you went through a lot to get it. Some of us treasure it.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:40 pm

Sonja,
Glad that you are back, sorry to hear about your relationship. I am going through the same thing but for different reasons, my wife just refuses to accept my crossdressing, she asked to never see me dressed or to hear about it and she refused to even try and learn anything about it - it was just, "MY Gad your a crosdresser, you wear women's clothing - I want a divorce - screw 29 years of marriage!"
You know having been on this forum for as long as I have and read a lot of the threads, from us and from a lot of the SO's I am firmly convienced that GG's just don't get it! Hell, we don't get it, but GG's struggle hardily with it. Some, like Georgia, accept it, don't really understand it, but try and deal with it. And others of our sisters state that their SO accepts it - well, I take that with the proverbial "grain of salt." As (in my opinion) if you push 99.0% into the corner, so to speak, they would reject it wholly and completely! It is a tight rope we walk is it not???? I feel fortunate, in that at my age, I have the attitude that I understand where my wife is coming from with it - I don't like it, but it is her problem! For me I am taking Virginia by the hand and we are heading on to the completion of our "Magical Mystery Tour." When we reach room temperature, hopefully together!
I think that you have probably done what I recommend that others that are struggling do: Dress up as nice as you can in the style you feel most comfortable in, stand in front of a mirror, look at the woman looking back at you and decide, just how important is she to you??
Love you,
Virginia

Sonja · Post by **Sonja** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:30 am

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'm excited now that Sonja and I can move forward together, just like you said Virginia.

Take care,
Sonja