Crossdressers-Haven.com

Our home has been under renovation since June when the contractors allowed rain into the house four times in six weeks. For some reason, they didn't feel like applying the tarps very well after removing the old roof. Before the end of July, all the hardwood floors and plaster walls were ruined and had to be demolished. During this time, we've been living at the mother-in-law's condo and everything that is Zippy has been packed away in crates within a storage container on our driveway. The most femme things I've enjoyed in six months have been polish on my toenails (covered with socks while MIL is here) and the occasional eyebrow waxing (when my weekly plucking has been insufficient.) Believe it or not, living with the MIL has been a breeze compared to dealing with the renovation contractors. For five months, I've had to stay on their foreman's posterior just to get things done.

Fall and winter are my favorite times of the year, and I've desperately missed wearing makeup in the evenings. It's amazing how a little bit of foundation, blush, mascara, lip gloss and eyeshadow go a long way towards making me feel comfortable in the evening. Fortunately, MIL leaves in a few days to visit Florida and I'll have a tiny bit more time for Zippy. Now, if only the SO handles it well. She's been spoiled lately: I haven't worn earrings (small studs or hoops) and my lonely tube of mascara hasn't been opened in weeks.

HI, Zippy!

First - I like the new avatar! Second - I know you've been having a rough time with those contractors and had to get attorneys involved. Hopefully the repair work and the renovations will be done correctly. I'll know it wasn't if I hear your screaming all the way down here!

Now, then, how long will the MIL be in Florida, and where will she be so I can watch out for her?

Dig out that makeup and earrings, by all means! Spouse 'should' understand, after all, Zippy's been locked up for months, and she deserves some time of her own. In fact, based on our chat earlier tonight, I know that she needs that time. Do you have some clear mascara that you can wear during the day, even when MIL's around? How about the Clearly Buff nail polish by Sally Hanson, which is a natural beige color, and less noticeable?

Zippy needs to get out for an evening drive, or to the movies. At the minimum, she needs to put her face on - even if you're staying home for the night.

Let me know how things progress, my friend!

Sorry to hear of your problems Zippy. It's hard to believe the contractors took so long on your roof. It should have been done in a day or two, no more than three, and that includes removal of the old roof.

As for makeup, maybe you can get your wife to help apply it when your MIL heads off, and y'all can have some fun for a change.

SilverLady and DonnaT: Thank you both for your kind comments. MIL isn't the problem, SO is. SO gets wound up thinking MIL is observing every minute detail about me. She'll never understand people generally aren't nearly as observant of things as she thinks they are. She still believes any man wearing earrings in both ears is bi-sexual. She doesn't understand the differences between biological sex, sexual preference, and psychological gender. It's kinda hard to believe I told her about Zippy and she went out with Zippy on more than one occasion before we married, huh?

SilverLady: I forgot to warn you, MIL is flying down to Tampa tomorrow to stay with her boyfriend in Lutz. Look out for a short, grey haired, shuffling 72-year old woman dragging a tall thin man behind her.

DonnaT: We're adding a complete second story to our house, and the first group of framers were about as slack a bunch of idiots as you could find. It turns out although the contractor was paying the subcontractor, the subcontractor wasn't paying his workers on time. Because of the subcontractor's abuse of his employees, we lost the walls and floors downstairs, the contractor is paying to restore everything, and it's taking more than two months longer than it should.

Ah, life. Where would we be without our trials and tribulations.
Someone stop me before I start quoting Nietzsche!!

Zippy, you wrote:

She'll never understand people generally aren't nearly as observant of things as she thinks they are. She still believes any man wearing earrings in both ears is bi-sexual. She doesn't understand the differences between biological sex, sexual preference, and psychological gender. It's kinda hard to believe I told her about Zippy and she went out with Zippy on more than one occasion before we married, huh?

Um, excuse me, then - - exactly who did she think she was marrying? I know you told her about Zippy, and have shown her Zippy, on several occasions. Did she seriously think that those were the only times that Zippy was going to be present? Does she think Zippy was like a toy received for Christmas, to be seen (or played with) only a few times, then put away in the far recesses of the closet, never to be seen again?

I'm sorry, my friend, but I absolutely fail to see her logic in this. I can understand an SO becoming upset and intolerant when discovering (or being told) about the 'female side' to the hubby after marriage, and sometimes it's many years afterwards. However, that is clearly not the case here. I'm sure that some of the SO's here may become upset with my line of thinking here, but I just can't understand what is going on in your wife's head. Maybe a long talk with the wife is needed while the MIL is out of town? Your mental - and physical - health requires this, my dear! And soon!

SilverLady: I forgot to warn you, MIL is flying down to Tampa tomorrow to stay with her boyfriend in Lutz. Look out for a short, grey haired, shuffling 72-year old woman dragging a tall thin man behind her.

Thanks for the warning! Lutz is only 10 miles West of here, and do you realize how many people fit that description during the months of November through May? Sheesh! I'll try to stay away from that area! How long will I need to be on the look-out for them? Any photos of them you'd like to send so I may recognize them?

Let me know how things progress with your wife, dear friend. I'm always available to chat with you.

SilverLady: Many gracious thanks for your reply. My SO has been estimated (by our marriage therapist/counselor) as having an emotional age of 12 or 13. She regressed to this stage several years into our marriage when she began abusing Xanax for the second time in her adult life. What's terrible is the shrink who prescribed it for her the second time is the same one who did the first time. As in so many couple's relationships, cross-dressing isn't our biggest issue, but it's often been a convenient target to misdirect attention from the more serious issue, emotional and psychological immaturity.

We were a couple and living together for over two years before getting married, and the first several years of our marriage were very good. I believe it may have been one of the few times in her entire life my SO was acting as a responsible adult. Her co-workers at that time told me they could see a significant improvement in her "like she had finally blossomed". When her nagging insecurity arose from its deep slumber and triggered the substance abuse, she regressed quickly. I originally thought she was acting like a 16 or 17 year-old, but soon realized it was worse than that.

That's when I started therapy to deal with it. I told both the marriage therapist and my personal psychologist I didn't care if people knew I was a man wearing makeup, a wig, and a skirt. I don't "pass" and I never will. I'm comfortable with who I am. [Thirty-something years of the Roman Catholic church and Mom's guilt and shame were more than enough for me. I finally learned to love myself for who I was and not who someone else expected me to be. It was a turning point in my life. I stopped drinking heavily and started medication for my depression. My career began to take off. I began to handle my finances better. Looking back, accepting and loving myself as a crossdresser has been the single most beneficial event in my life.]

So, I continually hope and occasionally pray God provides my SO some measure of emotional security and returns to me the beautiful adult woman I married. It may never happen. It may take another thirty years. But I have survived, and I will continue to survive. God willing, Zippy will even thrive and become more beautiful.

For anyone who may not recognize the beautiful redhead in my avatar, that's Alyson Hannigan, originally of Buffy fame and now How I Met Your Mother. I should be so fortunate as to resemble her in the slightest manner, huh?

Hi Zippy, gee girl can I relate to your post. After Katrine wiped out Golf Port the wife and I drove down and picked up the two grandchildren and brough them home with us. So long story short Carol Ann had to be packed away for who knew how long. Now they are teenagers with the girl being 16 and the boy 13 and I don't believe I or my wife would be able to explain Carol Ann to them. Well today the wife in the love of her heart saids" why don't Carol come for a visit today, the kids are in school all day and I think it would be safe". Oh bless her heart so today I done my Sunday best and it took me over and hour to do my face and hair, oh out of pratice. Yes a little makeup a pair of stockings and a dress really will bring a smile to a girls face. Sorry to hear about you home the one we sold last year in New Orleans came through with out a single scrach, after 30years I do believe the good Lord was looking after us when we retired and moved to southeast Missouri. Do enjoy what ever time you have and put on that face girl. Carol Ann

Zippy wrote:For anyone who may not recognize the beautiful redhead in my avatar, that's Alyson Hannigan, originally of Buffy fame and now How I Met Your Mother. I should be so fortunate as to resemble her in the slightest manner, huh?

What are the odds of there being two CDs in Charlotte who use AH as their avatar? I wish I looked that good! If the SO lets you out of the house, maybe we could get together sometime.

Jaye: I was never certain if that was the lovely AH in your avatar, or some other incredibly cute young redhead. I hope you don't feel like I stole your avatar. If so, I'll gladly look for another. Just let me know.

As far as going out, it's more a matter of my mother-in-law's neighbors seeing Zippy leave the house and get into the car they all know her son-in-law drives. sigh

Carol Ann: Thank you for your kind words. I know well what you mean about "out of practice" right now. I've begun to wear a small bit of mascara again on a daily basis, and it's well past time to shape my eyebrows. Through August, I had worked them down to a perfect "in-between" thickness and gotten the shape just as I liked. They're not exactly wooly caterpillars, but they're not nearly how I like them. I could spend an hour slowly doing it in one evening, but then the SO would freak out. So, it's another slow process over a period of weeks. Ah, life....

Hi, my dear friend -

My SO has been estimated (by our marriage therapist/counselor) as having an emotional age of 12 or 13. She regressed to this stage several years into our marriage when she began abusing Xanax for the second time in her adult life. What's terrible is the shrink who prescribed it for her the second time is the same one who did the first time. As in so many couple's relationships, cross-dressing isn't our biggest issue, but it's often been a convenient target to misdirect attention from the more serious issue, emotional and psychological immaturity.

I presume that you are both still seeing the marriage therapist/counselor? Has this therapist/counselor made recommendations for the SO that would aid her, if possible, in overcoming her emotional immaturity? I sure hope your SO is not still seeing this same shrink? If she is, then I think it behooves you to strongly recommend she see someone else, or have the marriage counselor make that recommendation if the SO will respond more favorably to that person.

Zippy, my dear, you *know* without being told by me or anyone else here, your physical and mental health greatly depends on this matter being dealt with as soon as possible. Given what you told me in chat a few days ago, this is starting to become an 'emergency'.

Please - do not put this off. You are being granted the 'privacy' while the MIL is here in FL, so please take advantage of it. I'm here for you, as are your fellow forum members.

SilverLady: Thank you so much for your kind support. She is definitely NOT seeing that shrink any longer. Her GP prescribes antidepressants, but no benzodiazepines and no narcotics.

You are very welcome! That's what being friends is all about - supporting one another.

my friend - always!

Tonight marks a full week of actually living in our finally-completed home.

Last Friday was our first night sleeping in the house and we've been unpacking and arranging things every night since then. Wednesday evening, I finally found the bin containing one pair of my breast forms and all my lingerie I slept in my longline bra and forms Wednesday night (and my SO was more than tolerant, too! [nudge, nudge, wink, wink]) Thursday evening was just a nice pair of lacy panties and red satin PJ pants.

Tonight is Zippy's first night with wig, makeup, earrings, and breast forms in over eight months.
Thank goodness I'm finally free to be me again!!

Hey, Zippy!

Didn't the 'Doctor' tell you that you should let Zippy out of that storage container and do whatever makes her happy, which will make her alter-ego happy, too? The doctor always knows what's best!!

I slept in my longline bra and forms Wednesday night (and my SO was more than tolerant, too! [nudge, nudge, wink, wink])

All I'm going to say is this:

I'm glad Zippy is back, and here to stay!!



- SL

Zippy wrote:Tonight is Zippy's first night with wig, makeup, earrings, and breast forms in over eight months.
Thank goodness I'm finally free to be me again!!

Zippy, that's great news! Congratulations!

Jadeanne