Crossdressers-Haven.com

I feel like I want to share the clothing I have, but am afraid to. I'll give the general statement that I look like a hooker. I sort of feel out of place being only 21 and focused mainly on being aroused by the crossdressing. In fact I wonder if for me, it is just a fetish or even a second-rate substitute for "real" action.

I'm also afraid to share what I do in drag.

Daniel,

We are all the same but different. We all have an underlying need to crossdress, but all have different reasons and feelings surrounding it. These feelings may even change over time.

I have found my feelings have changed over the years. Back when I was your age, I felt the same arousal. That is now much less as I have become more comfortable with myself and more in touch my inner feelings of what I really enjoy and desire.

Cross dressing has become much more than a sexual thing. The unmasculine tendancy to be "pretty" has dominated me. As I grew older, my taste in clothing has gone from the 'hooker" sexy look to a more sofisticated sexy look. Sexy, pretty, feminine. These are things that the male personna does not allow, but we crave.

Try to be comfortable with yourself. Your feelings are not bizarre. Don't over analyze yourself. Just enjoy it, and take it to wherever you desire.

Hugz,

Danial,

What exactly do you mean when you say:

Danial wrote:
I feel like I want to share the clothing I have, but am afraid to.

Are you saying you literally want to share you clothes with someone, or are you saying you want to share the fact that you dress, with someone? It is normal to want to share the feelings about it. No one wants to have a terrible secret. Most of us know how that feels. Most of us grew up in the closet and many still remain there because of the negative attitudes of those close to them, or in the small communities where they live.

If you consider yourself strictly a fetishist(person who dresses just for the sexual thrill) you need not feel guilty or ashamed. There are many people who start out that way. And while I did not start out that way, I would be lying if I told you that I were never turned on by being dressed, or that I have never felt ashamed for being turned on while dressed.

Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with this, and it does not make you a bad person. Most likely as you grow older, your needs will change and your dressing habits may change as well. There are many stories here of those who used to be "fetishists" who are no longer turned on by dressing, but still get a really good feeling from it. Either to releive stress or just a feeling of well being.

If on the other hand you just have a desire to share you actual clothing with someone, I have shared clothing with both my exwife, who used to steal my panties, and my current wife who will on occaision let me wear her clothes. Most people do not want anyone wearing thier clothes.

I don't really have much advice for you, perhaps you could explain more?

Love always,
Elizabeth

I meant I wanted to let people here know the details of my clothing, but I'm afraid to. I don't know; maybe it's my duty to so others don't feel alone!

First, IMHO, there is no "duty" to do anything here. If you wish to share your "clothing", thoughts or feeling, go ahead. If you think it will help others, go ahead.

Second, why not try posting to the "What are you wearing today?" thread under "Fun Stuff While CDing"?

Hugz

I'd like to echo what the others have said here. You do not have a duty to share things here, it is fine to just listen. And it is probably best to just be and not try to figure out the "right" way to feel about all this.

I do have to disagree about the not wanting to physically share clothes. I found that when my wife and I shared clothing (we shared a lot of unisex stuff like tee shirts at one time) it was a nice thing, a small way of feeling connected to each other. She still likes to wear my socks. As long as you don't lose the clothing or damage it of course.

As to crossdressing, I would say that yes in many ways I am a fetishist. And if you took the sexual aspect out of it much of the thrill would be gone. There is a real aspect of becoming my own imaginary lover going on with my crossdressing even when I don't engage in any y sexual activity while doing it, solitary or otherwise. And it started out with just sexy lingerie and moved to liking the whole female outfit albeit much less overtly sexy.

I will disagree with something else in terms of choice of language and interpretation. When I dress like the sexy young temptress that I never was or will be this is really my masculine side coming out. My masculine side expressing all sorts of fantasie about women and sex. It is when I dress more down to earth, panties and a bra with a simple comfortable skirt and top or mixed with guy clothes (a fleece skirt with guy flannel shirt over some sort of camisole being an example) that I feel I am getting in touch with something female, that being something that is perhaps more emotional and yet more enduring and stronger, more elemental in a way I am not sure of.

Lots of us like to talk about our feminine or female side here and we don't talk that much about the sexual side of all this here. I am not sure why although exploring who one really is independently of gender or at least outside of the conventional box of gender can certainly be a longer topic than sexual thoughts about clothes. I think your post was very valuable because I suspect an awful lot of people come here looking for some sort of reassurance that they aren't some sort of wierdo just becasue dressing like a "slut" gets them sexually excited

Thanks

Absaroka

Hi Daniel,

I, too, will echo the statement that there is no "duty" or obligation of any kind to post anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Now, let me rewind the clock back to the year 6 B.P.C. (that's Before Personal Computers ), when I turned 21. My collection of female clothing consisted of, mostly, black or red lacy panties with matching garter belts and bras, a few black mini skirts, fishnet stockings and a pair of black pumps. And, when I "dressed up", the sexual aspect was very much a factor. I was, most certainly, a fetish dresser. I was well into my 30s before that phase diminished.

There is nothing wrong with this. I think many of us go through this as we reach puberty and start exploring who we are sexually.

Absaroka wrote:When I dress like the sexy young temptress that I never was or will be this is really my masculine side coming out. My masculine side expressing all sorts of fantasie about women and sex.

I think this is a very good point. I also find a lot of truth in your statement...

Daniel wrote:In fact I wonder if for me, it is just a fetish or even a second-rate substitute for "real" action.

I found that, during this period, when I was involved in a relationship, I almost never had a need to crossdress. When the relationship ended, the crossdressing resurfaced.

Its nothing to be ashamed of or embarrased about. It is a normal part of who we are. I just wish that I had access to this kind of resource when I was that age.

Kathy

Thank you girls. Because when I first started to cross dress I'd dressed for the sexual effects of it. And up till now I thought I was wrong. Because certain female clothes turn me on and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Yet when I was in a relationship the need to cross dress was gone.

This is one of the best site I have seen and I like it very much, thanks to the great people on this web site. thank you all!