Crossdressers-Haven.com

Are we headed back to another pre-Stonewall era? My guess is that we are.

Why is it suddenly "cool" in this country to be a racist, sexist, homophobic, uneducated, inbred moron, completely devoid of independent thought? Because even here in NY of all places, (NY!!!) which was once known for being very open-minded, has suddenly seemed to revert back to its old Archie Bunker mentality.

On Friday I got into my third fight in less than a month. But I don't post them because I just didn't feel like rehashing those, plus I really was not in the mood for any lectures from anyone about "what I should have done" either. As a NYer I have HAD to be a fighter my whole life. Let's just leave that at that once and for all.

But I digress.

On Saturday (I was en drab) at my "best friend's" place with his family & friends during what was supposed to be a friendly night of cards, I was insulted and backstabbed. These were my friends; these were people I have trusted, people I have known since early childhood. This past weekend I witnessed actions confirmed something I have feared for a couple of years now.

They corrupted the next generation, especially the 15-year old nephew who was suddenly allowed to get stinking drunk to the point where he called me "gay nig". All the while their 8 y.o. daughter was allowed to be up past midnight, sitting at the table with adults, listening to the entire exchange & encouraged to laugh along.

All of the other adults, including the aunt & uncle (my supposed best friends) were just laughing it off. But I kept my cool. I smiled & calmly told the drunken 15 y.o. that people exist in every walk of life, and that if he didn't change his attitude, someday he would offend the wrong stranger who would happily kick his backside, or WORSE.

However, as for the aunt & uncle, I wasn’t as merciful. I totally ripped into them. They really ought to know better. I didn't mind the comment so much as I did the fact that they were granting FULL PERMISSION to a 15 YEAR OLD to get drunk!!

However, as far as the comment went, that's been a little banter that's been going on between my friend Kevin & myself for a few years. Perhaps it's my fault. Had I nipped it in the bud years ago, it would not be an issue today, especially not with people's kids. But then again they should have had the presence of mind to withhold certain levels of banter from children!!

If these irresponsible a**holes want to let underage kids drink, then let them suffer the consequences. I will NOT be around to "help them" in any way. I want NO part of it. And I damn sure want no part of their lives anymore.

And I want to let you all know that I will appreciate any input that anyone here may have on this situation, however I do NOT want to hear a bunch of “should”s. I am NOT looking to be told “what to do” in this situation. Input is okay, but only in the form of INPUT. Are we clear? Understand that NOW; otherwise do not bother to post.

However, as for the aunt & uncle, I wasn’t as merciful. I totally ripped into them. They really ought to know better.

Did they get the message Lorna? I hope so.

There was a death, two actually, in my Sister-in-law's family this past week. One a suicide at 17. While everyone was in FL for the funeral, his brother (24) died Friday night in WV. Autopsy is pending, but it was probably from drinking himself to death. He had been very ill from drink and couldn't make the trip to FL. They both started drinking before becoming teenagers.

I too hope they got the message. Not only corrupting minors but encouraging the nephew to partake in something that could destroy his future is just unspeakable. My friend tried to call me yesterday but I didn't bother picking up.

Lorna, I know that this is a bad situation, but it can become an even better one if you can take it and do some education and they will learn from it.

While I do not know these people, I do know some people will grow and become better from situations like this and may be willing to learn and grow more, some will ignore the situation or act ignorant of it and will not change in their ways, and others will think of it as fuel added to their current ways and they will do more wrong with their son and think even less of the TG people and community.

I wish you luck and strength in dealing with this situation. And I hope it turns out for the better. Reaching out to someone may not be easy, but it is often very rewarding in the end. And those that learn and grow are not always just the ones on the other side of the situation.

We may not always love our family, but they are our family. It is easier to love them for who they are than to hate them in the long run.

KimberlyS wrote:
We may not always love our family, but they are our family. It is easier to love them for who they are than to hate them in the long run.

I have a very large family tree , the mass of my tree is mainly dead wood.
Where the dead wood branches are we do not go , except at funerals.

The rest of the tree consists of my parents + 1 uncle , 1 aunt & 1 cousin.

Our family tree is like a nicely pruned rosebush , no arguments or put-downs.

I dont hate the extended family but we no longer occociate.

I agree with you Lorna, it does look like we are going backwards instead of foward.

I even see this bigotry on CD forums. I have seen hate that is disguised as opinions or religous views from people who I would think should know better. CDs are looked down upon by most of society yet these CDs have similar qualities to the ones that do the hating. I have never seen these CDs until I came on the computer, they don't exist in my part of the world.

Yes Lorna, I agree with you, not just in your isolated situation with those people but on a wider scale as well.

I hope you gals are wrong in that society is going backwards. I have always hoped it was going forward and everyone would get along. What a geat place that would be,to have no one being judged on how they dressed,acted,relegion,etc. Hopefully that time is not to far away, .

Valerie wrote:I hope you gals are wrong in that society is going backwards. I have always hoped it was going forward and everyone would get along. What a geat place that would be,to have no one being judged on how they dressed,acted,relegion,etc. Hopefully that time is not to far away, .

I totally hear you, Valerie. I really want to be wrong, but recent experiences along with the experiences of many of our peers all over the country have led me to believe otherwise.

I will not get into the religious aspect, but I do have to say that even THAT has gotten worse over recent years - countless people, countless groups pushing their beliefs on others, while the mindless majority buys into their nonsense, hook, line and sinker.

It's sad indeed. Whatever happened to independent THOUGHT? Independent thought is DEAD.

So with that in mind I'm afraid that I have to stand by my original statement. This country has taken huge steps backward.

However... the defiant part of me WELCOMES this. Why? Because there is a part of me, my defiant part that LOVES & welcomes challenge. I know that I ranted about this past weekend, but I just LOVE calling people on their own BS. I LOVE it.

Bring it on, America! We're not going anywhere. And if that upsets your delicate sheltered little world of white picket fences, Christianity, Nascar & reality TV, then so be it. It will be YOUR problem to deal with, not ours.

History has dictated for centuries that CHANGE is inevitable.

Well girls ,

We seem to be making progress on this side of the globe

I was listening to a radio talkback program where a guy was talking about his first job on an oil rig , he said that on his first day he noticed bra , dresses & other items hanging on the cloths line and asked where the women were working.
The forman laughed and said " no women here mate! , these belong to dave he's a crossdresser " .
The guy said that during his time on the rig that dave was excepted as a CDer by the entire workforce on the rig and it wasn't a problem.

The talkback host said " wow thats really good that the guys accepted his lifestyle ".

It made me feel good too , just listening to that

I don't understand it, society says they hate cross dressers yet on every sit com they have boys and men wearing girls clothing even underwear. Proof, there is a new movie coming out called " The heart is most deceitful" About a mother wanted a girl but got a son. The movie show the boy wear girls underwear and a slip with a wig and make up-HIPPOCRATS!

Mark wrote:I don't understand it, society says they hate cross dressers yet on every sit com they have boys and men wearing girls clothing even underwear. Proof, there is a new movie coming out called " The heart is most deceitful" About a mother wanted a girl but got a son. The movie show the boy wear girls underwear and a slip WITH WIG AND MAKE UP -HIPPOCRATS!

Mark,

The only reason these shows will do so is to make fun and to perpetuate the old stereotype - that being transgendered (TG) or a crossdresser (CD) is nothing more than some "twisted perversion" hence is something to be mocked and ridiculed. Very few shows on network TV will put CDing in a positive light.

A perfect example of this: Jerry Springer. Every transgender person that parades on that damn show is either a drug addict, a prostitute or a homewrecker. And this is what this overly impressionable country of ours sees and buys into. That's it.

They don't bother watching anything remotely informative about the TG community (who needs Barbara Walters when they have Jerry Springer? MORONS, ugh) They would rather look upon their precious Jerry Springer as their "educational source." Plus, no one bothers to READ anymore. Who needs to read with digital cable & satellite TV & cable internet at their fingertips?

This is the country in which we live. And therein lies the problem.

Lorna wrote:
The only reason these shows will do so is to make fun and to perpetuate the old stereotype - that being transgendered (TG) or a crossdresser (CD) is nothing more than some "twisted perversion" hence is something to be mocked and ridiculed. Very few shows on network TV will put CDing in a positive light.

A perfect example of this: Jerry Springer. Every transgender person that parades on that damn show is either a drug addict, a prostitute or a homewrecker. And this is what this overly impressionable country of ours sees and buys into. That's it.

I totally agree Lorna ,
The Jerry Springer show is as fake as their actors , it is nothing more than recycled sensationalism.
Ever notice that anyone that has ever been on that show reacts (acts) in exactly the same way as all previous guests.

Dear Lorna and all the girls who have responded to Lorna's thread,

Where are manners today? If I had have made an untasteful remark as a child, even unwittingly I can assure you I would have only done it once!

Turn on the TV (not me, the electronic one) and listen to the language. It is in our homes so what do the kids think? I did not hear an adult use the big words until I was 15 and I was shocked when I did.

The filth that comes from the mouths of youths in our main street in front of anyone is disgusting.

When will society decide enough is enough?

Lorna, I am so sorry to hear your former friends treated you so badly. I am glad that you are a strong person and will rise above that and show them that you are a class act!

Love,


Jan

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick hello and small reply here in passing: I agree with many of the points, and sympathize with the sentiments.

Whether you knew or not I'm not American, not being American doesn't bother me, and I have no idea whether or not it bothers any of you, American or otherwise.

I'm not a big fan of everything that goes on in Canada; I especially try to avoid matters and discussions of politics and religion.

Suffice to say, I've travelled internationally, and have been treated very differently when people believed I was an American,
then when they knew I was a Canadian.

Recently, as our national election was coming to completion, an average Joe I met explained to me how he though one of the Big problems in Canada was that there was "too much money spent on education" ???

On a regular basis, I hear news reports of branches of the American government issuing press releases to the media warning their citizens near the Canadian border to be wary of te##o#ists infiltrating America from Canada; resulting in media coverage of armed vigilante groups across the line patrolling to protect freedom & democracy ???

I'll let someone else speculate and analyze why I don't even bother to approach the American border; even though there are many times I wish I could take a short break from Canada.

Overall, we're only 1/10th the population of the USA; an official public policy base known as Canadian multi-culturalism is another aspect.

Please don't think I'm saying anything one way or the other here; actually, I'm far too busy these days working with structurally vulnerable people to concern myself with the consumer society at large.

Having said any/all of this, my heart still reaches out for the CD population wherever it may be.

~
Until the next time,

/Marda

Hello Lorna.Racist,sexist,homophobic,uneducated,inbred moron completely devoid of independent thought. Hmmmm.It's sounds just like our fearless leader. George W. Bush. I would love to meet with him in person and give him three gentle knocks on his head and say"Hello! Is anybody home?" I think not! Big hugs.

Love
Jeannie

PS. George Bush makes Knucklehead Smith seem like a MENSA member.
They do however share one thing in common. They're both stupid dummies! I can be such a B---- at times! Forgive me, it's my time of month. UMS! Ugly mood swings!