Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hello all, I'm new to the forum, but thought I'd share some of my joy thats' occurred since "coming out" so to speak and finally "accepting" who I am...

I've been the so-called mainstream t-girl I'd say since the very beginnings...Age 5 or so innocent discoveries, the "binge and purge", total secrecy, purely heterosexual, etc...I am now 49 years old and I guess it could be said that it's taken a long time to figure it out, I dunno...

All I can say is, I guess something just snapped into place...That this is who I really am...Complex...Nothing to be ashamed of...What I do is harmless and hurts noone...I can't begin to explain how complete and wonderful I feel today...It's like I have been blessed and not cursed with feelings from "both" worlds of a man and a woman...Such a burden relieved!...No guilt...Just the most wonderful calm and confident feeling...

It gets better...My last GG girlfriend was and is the love of my life and I hers...But something just didn't work out like we'd hoped...Probably due in part to me, I'm sure, of not being honest with myself nor her?...Maybe...But, after 2 years of no contact, we crossed paths again...The flames had left neither of us...After a few conversations, we were heading our paths to merge in the same direction together again...During a weekend get together, I told her that I needed to tell her something before we got too far along again in our rekindling that might make her change her mind about being with me...I broke the news...Prepared with knowledge...Ability to answer questions...Total honesty...As one can imagine, she was very shocked...She cried...Patience is a HUGE key here...It's so much for someone to absorb coming from one you love...

Long story short there, she's grown in acceptance and discovered and learned so much more about me...She now knows my soft, sensative, caring and romantic side and why it is...Thats a huge reason she's always loved me...I've never pushed her, only given in small baby steps what she's ready to absorb...I couldn't ask for a better reaction...Believe me, it's the ultimate...

Recently, we met again for another weekend...This time, we were talking about things such as perfumes and makeup and she noticed how intrigued I was about all the monumental options in just dealing with that and things progressed...For the first time ever in my life I opened Leahs little suitcase I always have with me...(I travel constantly)...I let her examine some of my perfumes...Next, she wanted to see more and more from her curiosity...Next it was shoes, (she's a major shoe person, hehe)...She kept wanting to see more and more...I was totally in awe...I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt in showing her all these things that I'd never ever shown anyone...

It gets even better better...She then confessed to me on how much she liked certain feminine aspects of me...How I kiss her soft, tenderly and romantically, etc...She seen my breast forms...She asked me to put them on...I said, in time...When I feel more comfortable...She goes, well, let me try them on then, I'm not shy, lol...Next thing you know, she has me partially dressed in just a top with my forms on...We made love...And omg all I can tell you is that still to this day, I can't describe the feeling, other than I feel a feminine feeling that is so deep and intense, like losing my virginity as a woman...

Since then things have been moving along nicely, altho shes' still not quite ready for the "full" transformation of me yet...But, with patience we both know it will happen and will be beautiful...Even today, we shot emails back and forth like giggling schoolgirls with links to dresses and accessories...

Again, all I can say is in my case, being honest and open and secure with myself has opened doors I'd never dreamed possible...With careful thoughts and patience it's been a blessing I'll never take for granted...I feel I'm truly on my way to living the "dream" of who I really am...

Sorry if this was so long on my first post and I hope it's in the proper area...

We truly are "blessed"...We need to never forget that...We are good people...We hurt noone...It's "ok" to be who you are...

Thanks for listening...

Leah*

Good for you Leah! I'm glad that the person you love loves you back and is learning to accept you as you have done too.

The most important thing in my opinion is being comfortable with oneself as you mention you are now!

So cheers to you!

Leah,

What an uplifting message!! My love of my life and I have just broken up and something deep inside me says she made a hasty decision, and maybe in time we'll get back together. To read your message gave me real hope.

Congratulations.

Grace

Leah, I am so happy that you have some one who is at the least willing to try and understand. As you are well aware GG's have a very difficult time in accepting our "gift." If you have one that even is able to try and understand and learn you are indeed blessed! Don't know how long you have been a member of this forum but in the few years I have been a member I can assure that the past is strewn with the decapitated reminants of once beautiful relationships over our discovering our "gift" and our SO' not beaing able to "handle it." (Yes, I include my 28 years) - but once I discovered what a wonder I have been blessed with - I would not change it for the world!!! Virginia has taken me to places that I would never have dreamed possible.
You are doing the right thing - take it slow - small steps. Invite her to share her feelings with the SO's here and with the rest of us if she wants.
I can not speak for my sisters here, but this girl is certainly enjoying her "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Keep the faith and keep us posted on your trip!
Virginia

Congratulations Leah. Yes, patience is key for some of us.

Leah the self acceptance you describe is a great thing and very nice to hear. it can be quite a journey coming to terms with who we really are and obviously this is not limited to what we wear and how we express ourselves.

Your girlfriend sounds like a wonderful person. I think that you are absolutely right about going slow. I have read that so many times here and it is a BIG deal to many women to find out about this in someone who is a romantic interest. I think lots of women like the sensitive caring side that we sometimes label feminine. As for the clothing, perfume, makeup and stuff it flys in the face of so many different societal teachings on so many different levels that of course it is difficult for many. Make sure you keep in touch with your gratitude for her acceptance

Thanks

Absaroka

Thank you all for your kind words of support...This has been the first time in my life I've ventured beyond the realm of keeping these things secret and hidden...Believe me, I will always keep in mind to my SO how important she is to me and always reinforce that regardless of my "gift" I'll always be her "man"...As most things in life, if one can keep a balance and not lean too much to an extremity, things have a much better chance of stability..

Thanks again so much for your kindness

Leah*

What an inspiring post, Leah! As a single man who is not looking at present, I don't deal with these issues. I'm always glad to read about those who are finding acceptance with partners, though. I know just from going out with women who are friends of mine that it is a wonderful feeling, to be accepted like that.

Hi Leah,

That's wonderful news! The best of luck to you both - I hope things work out this time around...

Leah

I'll add my good wishes to the conversation and say how much I enjoyed reading your story. I'm sure it will give many others some hope if they are contemplating sharing their femme self with a partner. I'm glad everything is going well for you both so far. As others have said, small steps are the way to go but be prepared for some hiccups along the way which are a normal part of the process. A cognitive appreciation of your partner's feelings will go a long way to helping her become more accepting (adjusted) as time goes on. Good luck

Stephanie