One wife's story

[Sally]

I saw this article in a magazine about 6 years ago and filed it away for future reference.

I thought it may be of interest to some of us.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

..................................

My Story.

One Wife's Perspective on Crossdressing by Joan Stone..........


When my husband first told me about his need to crossdress my first reaction was, "Just leave my things alone". That was all I ever hoped to hear on the subject. I never expected it to become such a major factor in our lives. However, since we had no one in whom we could confide, we had to rely only on each other.

Needless to say, we had years of discussion where we went round and round in circles. But never did I say he could not cross dress, and when I saw him, it bothered me that he didn't always look his best. So, as money and time permitted, we began getting Lucy shaped up.

During the beginning years, because there was very little information on the subject, and I kept trying to put my head in the sand hoping it would go away. I realised this was one issue that was not going away, and our discussion became a two way street.

I don't ever remember not being willing to discuss the subject. I just got tired of not having substantive answers. We had to find our own way, and it took a lot of years to find our comfort zone.

Even today, when I am tired, hungry or just suffering emotional tiredness and Lucy wants to emerge, my reaction will be "No". However, give me a little time or rest or eat and my whole perspective will change, and I will be a lot more receptive. As Don says, it is a matter of timing, and neither of us always gets it right.

Over all, I have come to enjoy Lucy, even if at times I wish we didn't have to deal with issues related to cross-dressing. But if there were a pill he could take to make it go away, I would NOT want him to take it, because it would mean a change in his personality, and I don't think I would like the person who would be left.

I really wish every wife and significant other, could become more open about cross-dressing issues with her Crossdresser, but I also understand that does not always happen. I can only suggest to crossdressers, be open and above board and show your wife or significant other by example, that your cross-dressing is not a threat to her.

Find ways to make her realise that she is the number one female in your life. I know sometimes it is hard for a wife to understand, because she feels she should be the only female present in her husband's life. But we married most sensitive men, and without that sensitivity and understanding, we would not love you so much.

Crossdressers are truly special people, and I hope someday every wife and significant other will come to understand this.

Originally from The Mirror, USA:

[Danette]

Hi Sally,
I've been single for a quite a few years now. But if I was in a relationship, I would definitely print this for them to read.
Very nice story, Thanks

Hugs,
Danette

[Virginia]

Sorry Sally,
But you know as well as any one! Some wives just not only don't get it they don't even want to try! Fortunately they are in the minority - I hope. I just happened to have married one!
Thanks for posting, though,
Love ya,
Virginia

[Carol Ann]

Sally:
A very nice post, I will say it's a hard road for some wifes. It took a Tri-Ess
meeting for my wife to fully understand but I do think she still doesn't.
We have worked out a wonderful relationship with my crossdressing and after 5 years she doesn't even blink an eye when Carol Ann is around. Yesterday we had a sit down talk and I ask her if she was ashamed of Carol Ann as she seems to go off to visit people when Carol is around. She tells me no, I just have to get out. So we let it go at that. Carol Ann

[Leah]

Great post, thanks for sharing it...I'm so lucky to have a supportive SO, but it's not just her alone in the understanding...It takes "both" of Us to have found that comfortable "timing"...I'm sure my SO would agree, that without the special extra things we have, we would be less of what has attracted us to each other...In the early days I explained it's not a threat to her...It's harmless...In fact lets' just have fun with it...Not take it seriously...It opened up the doors so much easier...

Leah*

[Joselle]

Nice Post

It really does come down to the understanding