I have examined my feelings, desires, and cross-dressing throughout my life - which, up to now, I had tried to deny, ignore, or rationalize away. I finally have resigned myself to the fact that this is something basic to my nature that cannot be "corrected" or rationalized away through psychotherapy. I am finally accepting the fact that my life history, cross-dressing behavior, feelings about gender identification, and so many other traits fall into almost exactly the same pattern as countless other male-to-female transgenders. This suggests a permanent, underlying neurological pattern of female identification that was probably formed in the womb.
My life-long attempt to deny and resist my female gender identity has resulted in serious stress, anxiety, self-loathing, and blockage of my energies. In fact, its seems as if my male persona is largely based on my attempts to deny and resist the female within me. It took a recent heart attack to convince me that these negative feelings might literally be the death of me.
Being Maggie relieves all those negative emotions and helps me feel genuine, relaxed, happy, self-loving, productive, warm inside, and "whole" with myself and the Universe. When I am Maggie, I feel as if I am the "real me" and I hate to go back. Even when I am not dressed, just looking at pictures of myself as Maggie helps to calm my anxieties and boost my spirits.
All these considerations, and others too numerous to mention, lead me to the final and inescapable conclusion that, psychologically, I am Maggie - a transgendered woman. This is very difficult for my male self to accept, but I see no other choice. All of my other theories and rationalizations have failed to pan out, despite all the effort and years I put into them.
Recently, while trying out a new digital camera, I decided to take a simple, no-frills headshot of myself - the kind used for drivers' licenses, passports, etc. Here it is.
I was impressed at how much better it looked than the photos taken of my male persona. I think it captured the inner strength and self-confidence of myself as a woman. Seeing this picture helped me to finally accept myself as a transgendered woman. This is, indeed, me!
What I can actually do about this is another matter.
Thanks for reading this.
Maggie
. You might find it kinda difficult, 'cause it will talk about a lot of people just like you (I did--I kept seeing myself repeated over and over and could at times only read a few pages an evening without having to put it down to stop the tears), but even more importantly, it will present some of the alternatives availble to you and give you and your wife a basis to talk. If your current therapist is not experienced with Gender Dysphoria/Gender Identity Disorder and the Benjamin protocols, then I would recommend finding one who is. That person will not push you into any particular path, but will help you explore the possibilities in view of 
