Crossdressers-Haven.com

You know I have been married to my wife for 43 years and I figured I knew her and understood her. Put in the passed week things have come out that I didn't know and things she said to me I couldn't believe she was saying it.

First off everone is aware of our talk at supper (would you be happier as a women), and things have come up that just flipped my mine little things and a couple of big ones. First off I admitted I had over done it dressing up, so I spent the rest of the week with her and we done things and went places like her "Relay For Life" get together with other cancer patients and she was so happy.

I said what's on tap for tomorrow, "would you sweep and mop the kitchen floor, and do the bath room also" sure no big deal. So the next morning I put on a skirt and blouse done my makeup and went about working. Well she was a little upset again and so I said ok let's have it what the hell is wrong now.
Your makeup! as a teenager she was not allow to wear makeup at all only her older sister and I believe that was a bad memory of growing up. To this day she still doesn't wear makeup. Then she hits me between the eyes with the statement "at times you look more like a women then a women and your own mother wouldn't know you from anybody that's why I will not let you go out".

"Honey sometimes you look just to damn good when you really dress up" OK I'll stop." No you enjoy it, you need to do it. I understand, that's why I let you do it and I fuss if you aren't dressed properly, and that's why I got you the new skirt and blouse so you look good". " I done your new wig so it looks good on you and I like the look for you". So what do you want me to do honey?. "Nothing, just love me always and don't push me out of your life as a women"

So I wrapped my arms around her and told her how much I loved her and she will always be the only women in this house. Then I tryed to kiss her and she pulled away and said " not with lipstick on you don't".

I am a mase at the things that came out and she never said other wise,
I do believe I'm the luckies guy/girl in the world. Carol Ann

I'm glad things are going well even if they are turbulent at times. Interesting take on the make up and an important reminder that our SOs have all sorts of references about these things that we need to understand.

Absaroka

OK. This is interesting because I find that while some of the clothes don't bother me at all, and some are really kind of cute and kicky... man, there are times that certain things - bras, stockings, makeup - really trip me. Took me a while to figure out that it was the stuff that I had to grow up to be allowed to wear that trips me up. Dunno why, exactly, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

I think your wife has told you precisely how she feels about all this. It's fine and she supports you - she just wants to feel like the premier woman in the house, your life, etc. How fortunate you are that she could tell you this without feeling silly, and how fortunate she is that you could hear her without getting defensive!

very good...

-g(so)

Hi Carol Ann,
You have to remember our motto: " Small steps honey, small steps!"
Now I am not promoting lesbianism, but your wife let you hold her while you were "dressed with style!" That is a big step for her! The fact that she participates, buying you clothes, complimenting your make-up, yes I know from personal experience how fortunate that can make you feel and for her to say how great you look!!!! Wow!!!! I know that can make you feel good! Now you need to work on just going out and maybe just sitting in the car then maybe a late night drive - small steps - then just follow her lead, I mean this could take months and you know not to push it, just maybe subtle hints about going out every now and then. A late night movie. You may be able to reach a point where she does accept Carol Ann as a girl friend or sister and eventually end up shopping together and eating out etc., just take it slow. As for the hugging and kissing and sex. that will be left up to you. A lot or GG's have as much an aversion to lesbians as some males do to gays! You know I am a firm believer that GG's do not understand it (like we do ourselves ) but to find or have a GG's that is at least open minded enough to try - what a treasure you have! Don't force it - take yor time and just enjoy the fact of where she is developing her relationship so far with Carol Ann ------------------- and keep us posted, honey! You are doing great!
Love you,
Virginia

Yes, you are one lucky gurl Carol Ann Good to hear things are going so well.

My wife's biggest problem with my dressing is the makeup and wig, so I don't usually put them on when at home, and don't really feel the need for them.

Just a quick follow up before we leave to go on a mini vacation to Brandson, Mo. Can you believe that a retired couple going on vacation?. Hell everyday is a vacation to me. The reason is for her as I want her to know I still love her very much and Carol Ann will not be going along.

Sometimes the truth hurts and my wife is not in the best of health and I think she is feeling sorry for herself at times. You know cancer will do crazy things to a persons mine. She see's Carol Ann and knows she can no longer do the same things.

Virginia my friend as I said before her and I use to go out together as two women but that was when we were in Tri-Ess, and I know she knows I have been out when she is away. And she knows if and when the day comes after her passing I will become a full time CD 24/7.

Please everyone don't think badly of me as we both know the time will come and I will deal with all the problems that come with it at that time.

In the mean time I will love her and make her know she is the only women in my life. Until we return one day next week everyone enjoy the life you have. Carol Ann

I hope the two of you have a wonderful time.

I guess I wasn't paying attention but I didn't realize your wife was ill. I am very sorry to hear that. These things can be so frightening for the person who will not be leaving and it is great that you can keep the focus on her.

Absaroka

Carol Ann...

Ugh, just when I was catching up on threads, and enjoying your post, to read about your wife's cancer was like a kick in the stomach.

Reminds me too much of another good CD friend I met here years ago, who just about lost it when his wife died a slow and agonizing death.

How wise you are to make the most of the precious time you have together.

Hugs

Bernice

Hi all,

What Bernice said.

Carol Ann,

Every moment spent loving (yourself, another, the world) is a lamp held high on a dark shoreline. May your arm never tire.

Love,
CJ