She wants to come back...
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:20 pm
Hello everyone, I hope your alright with me posting. I know I left and never said anything like about a year and a half ago but I hit that phase again where I got rid of all Sophies stuff and tried to kill her off again. I haven't dressed since December 2004 when I returned to work after being off ill for a few months.
I had a moment last year where I almost started again but I somehow resisted and it went away, but I think I know now whatever I do she's always gonna be there. I haven't a problem with being Sophie, I do love her and I really so badly missed her all last year, cos during 2004 I really accepted her etc but I just want to be like everyone else and live a normal life, like I worry bout what's gonna happen at work.
When I stopped dressing I sold most of my stuff on eBay, threw a couple bags of stuff out and the only thing I kept was my jewellery box with a necklace my Mum brought me. So last week I was going through the cupboards and I found the box and I think that's when it started to come back.
Anyways, today for the first time I dressed up and I felt at ease again. And now I'm worried it's gonna take over my life again. I am an all or nothing type person so if I start dressing again I will want to shave my legs, sort out my eyebrows shave my arms etc but I can't cos I have to work.
Oh well, I am just so glad this place is still going, so many of you helped me during that difficult time in 2004 and so many of you gave me the courage to do things I only ever dreamed about. I was worried this site would have gone like a few of my other favourite sites. Nice to see most of you girls are still here as well, Lorna and CJ but I can't see Beauty? Is she still around?
You know what tho, I wish I was born a girl cos all this confusion would go away, but knowing me I'd probably wanna be a boy if I was born a girl lol
Sophie
I had a moment last year where I almost started again but I somehow resisted and it went away, but I think I know now whatever I do she's always gonna be there. I haven't a problem with being Sophie, I do love her and I really so badly missed her all last year, cos during 2004 I really accepted her etc but I just want to be like everyone else and live a normal life, like I worry bout what's gonna happen at work.
When I stopped dressing I sold most of my stuff on eBay, threw a couple bags of stuff out and the only thing I kept was my jewellery box with a necklace my Mum brought me. So last week I was going through the cupboards and I found the box and I think that's when it started to come back.
Anyways, today for the first time I dressed up and I felt at ease again. And now I'm worried it's gonna take over my life again. I am an all or nothing type person so if I start dressing again I will want to shave my legs, sort out my eyebrows shave my arms etc but I can't cos I have to work.
Oh well, I am just so glad this place is still going, so many of you helped me during that difficult time in 2004 and so many of you gave me the courage to do things I only ever dreamed about. I was worried this site would have gone like a few of my other favourite sites. Nice to see most of you girls are still here as well, Lorna and CJ but I can't see Beauty? Is she still around?
You know what tho, I wish I was born a girl cos all this confusion would go away, but knowing me I'd probably wanna be a boy if I was born a girl lol
Sophie