Feeling like this is free information for something greater?

[Kira Dias]

Does anyone else think it is strange that we are being asked questions and observed like guines pigs by Penny? This is a bit too close for comfort, and no one else has posted scenarios and questions with such rapid fire. Ladies let us protect one another and be wise and be sure that we not provide information to someone utilizing our special identities for ulterior motives. Recently, I read about a Craig's List incident where a man posed as a woman to see how many married men he could lure into mutually agreed upon sex, just for kicks. Just be careful to insure we are not the data/information for someone's crossdresser fact book, or perceived expertise about something so dear to us that has taken years to understand.

BTW, why are SO permitted to post pics in our photo gallery?

[DonnaT]

Well, since one of the SOs and her husband started and own this forum, they make the rules and decide who can post in the gallery.

Might I ask what you think is wrong with SO's posting pictures?

As for Penni's questions, she's a Support Counsellor for the Chameleons Society in Western Australia (a transgender support group) and has a desire to learn more about CDs. She has no ulterier motives. Feel free to answer her posts, or not.

[Penni SO]

HI ya all,

Thanks Donna for the support...............
Kari you actually have visited us at The Chameleons Society.My husbands femme name is Marie and frankly if I don't ask questions I'm not equipped to answer spouses concerns.

Too often I have sat at a crossdressers meeting and know one talks.
There are young men all over the world,young boys all over the world wondering why the hell they have these feelings or why the hell they like getting dressed in womens clothing.

In our forum I place the same topics WHY! to help others learn and accept their dressing WHY! because there are too many marriages being sensely broken apart because each partner cannot talk about what is going on in their life.

I'm and advoctae for you guys/gals.
I go to meetings with my husband,I make the new members feel comfortable in a situation that is bloody scary for the first time.WHY! because know one else does it,WHY because I love my husband so much that I'm willing to extend myself.....

Like Donna said you don't have too answer my questions.
You can keep your experiences sacred to you,but remember there are people out there on a spiral to depression because they cross dress,there are people out there that actually commit suicide,if I can reach out and help,I WILL.

Phew I am a little bothered by this,however I will get over it.

Penni

[Lydia]

Frankly, I feel that Kira is being too suspicious, although I can see her point. Are we all that we say we are? My photo could be faked, and I could be some pervert in a raincoat, pretending and making up these stories about myself, hunched over a computer in a cold dungeon. Perhaps we are too trusting, and accept the posts here at face value. I can understand our being cautious about revealing too much of our personal data, and that is as we are advised by the administrators of this forum. After all, there are always guests (lurkers, if you will), who could be looking for information to use in some nefarious activity or marketing their product.

However, look at the positive results of being trusting and, in a sense, exposing ourselves to the world. I have witnessed on this forum, how people are helped in understanding and dealing with their problems, from the advice and experiences of fellow members. I think that for the most part, we trust each other, and with that trust comes healing.

Inevitably, there are pill salesmen, porno purveyors, voyeurs, etc., who want to get on this forum, but it appears to me that our administrators and moderators are doing an excellent job of keeping spammers and trolls off. In any case, we still need to maintain some reasonable level of privacy. Certainly answering the kinds of questions that Penni has posted, can only be helpful to us in understanding ourselves, and our status in society. Whatever you do, don’t reveal your social security number!

Hugs,

Lydia

[SilverLady(SO)]

Kira -

I do not understand where you are coming from, and that is okay, but as has been already mentioned above, I believe that you are being way too suspicious of Penni(SO)'s questions. The tone of your post makes one believe that you have something to fear, and that is a shame.

I am whole-heartedly *glad* that Penni(SO) is asking these questions, because that enables me - as a GG and an (SO) - to learn more about CD's in general, and that in turn helps provide an even firmer foundation in my relationship with my CD. I think this is a win-win situation to the nth degree!

As for the SO's being able to post pictures in Gallery, we, too, are members of this forum and as such have the right to post our pictures there, following the same guidelines as the CD's. Equal rights, no discrimination.

You have the right to not respond to any threads or posts at the forum. You also have the right to not view any pictures in the Gallery. No one is forcing you to do either.

Penni(SO) - Again, I say a heartfelt thank you for your very intelligent and thought-provoking questions, and I feel that the more knowledge and understanding *everyone* has of CD's, the better our relationships.

- SL

[Paulie]

Remember....

"You're not really paranoid, if they are out to get you"

I've been on this forum for some time now, and have to agree.... It's a nice place. They do keep it pretty much free of the trolls and other undesirables.

I think Penni's questions are quite relavant and I certainly don't mind sharing with good people.

[Jess(SO)]

Kira,
penny could have done her questioning under a different guise -- eg a GG SO instead she chose to be up front in revealing her links to The Chameleons Society, anybody who has the strength to go through hoops to improve anothers life that they have a very limited chance of meeting has to be applauded ----------
So everybody on this forum I to you all , to each each and every one of you that have answered MY QUESTIONS you have played a part in saving a relationship very much worth saving in my eyes (but heyyy I am biased).
In my humble opinion anybody that can "utilizise information" to provide a better understanding is welcome to any help I can personally give them be it on CDING or anything I personally have experience with.

TO PENNY --------- keep up the good work girl JESS(SO)

[Sally]

Hi Kira,

I would suggest that anyone posting here and openly telling they are a member of the Chameleon Society would be genuine, because the Chameleon Society is a well respected genuine support group which has branches in most states of Australia, and I would further suggest that in all likelihood someone as up front as Penni SO would be known within that group, and also there are members of the Chameleon Society who read this Forum and if she did have ulterior motives (which we have no valid reasons to suspect that’s the case) then I’m sure someone would expose her if she indeed wasn’t who and what she says she is.

I might also suggest that the reason she may be seen to be bombarding the Forum with questions is this Forum has a cross mix of people second to none, and anything anyone wants to know in regard to CD and TG matters has always been answered here, and Forums with the quality people this one has are not in abundance. Further to this, I’d also suggest that this Forum is one of the very few where people can come safe in the knowledge that they won’t be subject to harassment or ridicule, and we can always be sure we’ll get responses delivered in a manner which is non offensive, and that’s paramount because so many people amongst us live their day to day lives with the fear they’ll be rejected, ostracized or ridiculed etc.

I’d also add that anything Penni has asked has all been discussed before and nobody saw anything of concern at those times, therefore I’ve seen nothing she’s asked which anyone could construe as being asked with ulterior motives, so Kira, may I suggest that what you may have perceived as being a threat is nothing more than someone exhibiting exuberance at finding a site where she has been welcomed by people who share a part of her life which is unique to all of us here. I realize Kira that being who we are, and some experiences we may have had through our lives requires us to ‘be on guard’ to some extent, but personally, I believe you can relax in this case.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[Virginia]

Hi Kira,
Well, well, well, a fellow traveller to the wood-shed! Take heart, honey, it only stings for a little while. You can handle it. If Virginia can be drug off to the woodshed as many times as I have. I am sure you saw all those deep ruts on the way out there, well most of them were made by yours truly, so I guess I provided a sort of map for anyone else who gets taken to the woodshed! Keep the faith, honey!
Penni's statement, and I will have to paraphrase was that she wanted to ask these questions because she gets asked these same questions at the Society and would like to have a "bag of trick" if you will to call upon to answer some of these. I think any SO who is willing to learn about "us" and to share what she feels and learns with anyone who is uncertain, is to be truly admired and appreciated! We are not easy if not impossible to understand - hell most of us don't understand it all ourselves!!!! To have GG show any interest in who or what we are, do, say, feel is so admirable that they should be given our complete and undivided help!
Penni, keep up the good work and Thanks for being there for us. I know it isn't easy, but don't give up on us. We are worth understanding!!!!
Love,
Virginia

[Penni SO]

To you all I thankyou,

It is not easy for any spouse know matter how much we accept.There will always be those questions we have that we do need answered.

Each and everyone of you crossdress for many different reasons,each of you react to these reasons differently.There are those of you who are strong and stand tall,and who lead the way for others.There are many of you still in the darkness and though the darkness can sometimes seem comforting I'm sure you all wish that you could let others see the whole you.......
I am very passionate about my husbands life and those he shares a common bond with,I have sadness that still in this so fast moving world we still have to pretend that we're something we're not,WHY because there are those that will always cast a stone.
I want others who visit this site,ours and all the others to find some answers for their many questions.

I have seen marriages fail and god these people loved each other before,why should the crossdressing factor be a problem.I"ll tell you WHY, because not enough of us get together to really care.I have found your site to have the most welcoming people,the most honest about their life,there is no smut or selling of sexual favours, which you do see on some sites sadly. I know many spouses have been on their own quest for info and have stumbled on such sites.Imagine their horror,imagine the silent thoughts they must churn over in their mind.

I feel we all have a duty of care to each other.Dressing is fun,it is sexual,it does make you feel whole,relaxed ,etc so I think the feelings of others count.
Yes there are books out there,and they sometimes are so complicated,genetics this,upbringing that,and yes they all carry valuable info,but the information you provide is personal,it touches the feelings of others,they can identify more readily.
I wish in all honestly I was smart enough to write a book from the heart,but I'm not.
I'm a mother to 6 children,i have loved 2 men who are crossdressers,I have friends who are no longer married,I have friends in the thro of not knowing what to do because they feel they are in the wrong body.I feel for them, and soooooooooo I ask these questions.

Thankyou my fellow spouses,especially those that have interacted on our site the Chameleons.com as you would see, there are not many spouses hanging around in our group,I'm on a path to hopefully change that...
As one of the transexuals from our site said "Viva la Revolution.

Thankyou from my heart for coming to my defence.
Hugs penni with an i here and a y on the chameleons site.

[CJ]

Hi all,

If I rightly understand their intentions and motives, the founders of this forum meant for it to be the kind of public place where discussion and exchange could flourish regarding exactly the kind of issues Penni's been raising of late. I, for one, am happy to contribute in this regard and will do what I feel I can to meet Penni's (or anyone else's) queries regarding transness as it affects my own life.

On the other hand, and in defence of Kira, I think that Kira's concerns are not unjustified. The internet is notorious when it comes to misrepresentation of identity, especially (as has been the case with some of Penni's questions) information is sought that can be considered of a highly personal nature.

Having said this, I think Penni herself has made her motives quite clear and I, for one, consider them noble ones albeit tinged with a personal and delightfully quirky edge.

I believe there are, at the very least, two types of personal information: factual, and what I can only call "intrapsychic," i.e., what goes on in our minds. Factual personal information relates to our date and place of birth, political or religious affiliations, civic address, phone number, eye colour, and so on and so forth. Intrapsychic personal information, on the other hand, deals with our private thoughts, emotions, personality traits, coping (and defence) mechanisms, longings, dreams, desires, fears, etc., etc. Nothing in what Penni has asked us makes me think she's after the first type of personal information. Everything in what Penni has asked us makes me think she thirsts after the second type. And this second type of personal information is the very currency of this forum and its sustenance. It's what brings us together. Exchanging what goes on in our minds (and in our hearts and in our souls) is the raison d'être of this forum. Here we hope to reap the understanding we so much long for even as we sow the seeds of that understanding. We do so by telling our stories and by listening to the stories of others, all sexes and all genders confounded.

In fact, this place is a minor miracle.

Be well, all of you.

And, Penni, keep those questions coming, y'hear? Those that wish to respond will and those that don't will abstain.

Love,
CJ

[Cathii]

Penny, if you are writing a book please be sure to spell my name right. Cathii, thats c..... a....... t...... h....... i...... i........ remember double i, no y. Oh and if you could slip in my mobile number and a mention that I am looking for a good looking extremely rich woman with a yacht, it must be a BIG yacht.

Does anyone else think it is strange that we are being asked questions and observed like guines pigs by Penny?

Not really. She is the partners rep for The Chameleon Society here in Western Australia, of which I am a member. If you doubt her credentials then visit this page. http://www.chameleonswa.com/chameleons/committee.html down the bottom you will see her picture. Having had the good fortune to have met Penny in person I can assure you her only goal is to understand and thereby help other spouses understand.

I wish I had met her 2 years ago when myself and the most amazing woman I had ever met, my partner (sadly now ex-partner) were going through a relationship melt down because of my dressing and transexuallity. She may have been able to make a difference with myself and the woman I love more than life even now.

So based on my bad experiences, if Penny has a question and I can answer it from my perspective, then I will. More than that I will answer it as freely and as openly as I can, because if the information I give her helps just one couple going through what myself and my partner did, then it was all worthwhile.

Cathii

[Absaroka]

I don't have a probelm with the questions; I think they are pretty good ones and that many others here can perhaps benefit by reading the answers. If Penni writes a book about what she's learned thats fine with me.

On the other hand the question of who are any of us really is a good one in any internet situation. And could someone be taking a lot of time to present as someone innocent when they are not, well that's possible.

I don't put anything up here that I wouldn't want anyone to know, with the exception of the basic fact that I crossdress. THat became available the first time I posted. Some one with serious blackmail in mind could I suppose track down who I am if they were good at that sort of stuff. So a decision about what I would do in such a situation was made prior to my first post.

Absaroka

[Kari]

Personally, i have no problem with Penny asking me anything she likes.

As long as i (Kari) gets a share of the royalties that is...

[Penni SO]

your so cute Kari and thanks for being a champion

Hugs Penni