How it's going.

Jill S · Post by **Jill S** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:15 am

Well things have not gone the way I thought they would. My wife is more understanding everyday. I'm the one not handeling this well. I can't bring myself to dress, I feel creepy thinking about it. One voice is telling me I'm cured, another voice is warning me about that self-deception. I'm sure it will work out but this part is even harder than the comeing-out.

Isabelle(SO) · Post by **Isabelle(SO)** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:46 pm

How odd life is.....Confucious say: Be careful what you wish for. Please relax and be you, all of you.

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:23 pm

Jill, you're in a place that many folks would be envious of. Sometimes unexpected gifts do make us feel humble, but take it one day at a time and you'll come to appreciate what a wonderful new beginning you have. With your wife's support, you simply couldn't ask for more.

Stephanie

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 7:27 am

This too shall pass, Jill.

Is it that you are feeling guilt, shame or confused at her acceptance?

Jill S · Post by **Jill S** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:33 am

Yes, all of the above. Losing my good friend De-nile has been the hardest part so far. Thinking about talking with a professional (can't spell any of those PHY words) about the whole deal. Must admit I'm wearing a dress now and feel somewhat calmer. This gives a new meaning to "slave to fashion". Also thinking of buying "My husbane wears my cloths" and reading with or to my wife, I'm the reader in the family. She did tell one of her friends who said it was "no big deal" !! I got to thank her over the phone, but seeing her in person next may feel a littel wierd.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:48 pm

I would think that telling your wife and having her somewhat accept it would be something of a major change, forcing you at some level to take stock of your feelings about it all. If they are feelings that are conflicted it's not at all surprising that your wifes acceptance has left you uncomfortable. How much easier to put it on your wife, saying she can't accept it, than asking now that it's okay, I am not sure how I feel about it. I think in your situation I might very well feel the same way.

My suggestion is to just go with how you feel at the moment. If you don't feel like dressing, don't, and don't be upset with yourself for feeling that way.

It may be that with the power of secrecy gone CDing loses some of it's power for you. Who knows?

Please keep us updated. If nothing else your posts will be helpful to others (like me) dealing with similar feelings.

Absaroka

Marlena Dahlstrom · Post by **Marlena Dahlstrom** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 12:39 am

I know some other folks who've had similar feelings.

It could be that with no "external constraint," you'll a bit fearful about where things might lead. But not everyone heads down the slippy slope. You may well find your own equalibrium. (I live by myself and theoretically could dress pretty much whenever I want. The fact that I don't tells me something about myself.)

Jill S · Post by **Jill S** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 6:58 am

I still have the need to dress but now guilt and shame seem to be with me all the time. It use to be "out of sight- out of mind" was how I dealt with it. By slippery slope you meen full time dressing? That won't happen, I'm basicly a quite guy who needs let off stress now and then. The big cure is still in the back of my head, I know that's not what many are looking for but it sure would make my life easier. Thank agian for everyones support.

Paulie · Post by **Paulie** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:49 pm

Yes.... finding the "cure" sure would make life easier.
But, I've learned over the years that you'll always come back.

The best any of us can do, IMHO, is to accept who we are, be happy with yourself, and find the balance with your SO. All are usually easier said than done, but you just take it day by day.

One word of advise tho...... Don't Purge!! You'll be sorry you did later done the line.

My best to you!

Janet_Johnson · Post by **Janet_Johnson** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:17 am

Life is sometimes very hard.

Jess(SO) · Post by **Jess(SO)** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:55 am

Jill,
have you tried telling your wife how you are feeling at the moment. When I first found out about my DH (3 months ago) I coped with the finding out --------- better than he coped with me knowing,------ that in itself led to problems because he couldn't/wouldn't talk to me and I felt so alone with this knowledge and nobody to share it with or talk it over with.

I know he had trouble coming to terms with the fact that somebody else knew (ME) and that I coped with it. It took him a while to get his head round the fact that I didn't run screaming off into the night shouting PERV or any other obsenities. If you want to pm him/her her name is
Claire Jane

Jess (SO)

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:22 pm

I don't think I would want to dress around my wife much even if she was totally accepting. With me it's just a sort of private thing. I might enjoy talking about it with her but not doing it.

Absaroka

Crossdressers-Haven.com

How it's going.

How it's going.

Jill has permission to be Jill.