I want to thank everyone here for the advice and kindness. Comeing out to my wife has not gone as well as I first thought. She is much more upset about it than showed at first, or I was so relieved she didn't leave me I didn't notice. I feel I have no right to try and change her views that TV/CD is a sin. I also won't try a fake convertion/cure as this last counseler wanted. I have decided to give up the act of crossdressing out of respect for my wife and marriage. I know the urges will be a thing to deal with and I hope to find a construtive way to do this.
I don't think comeing back here will help me much. I did want to thank you all agian. May your road be smooth.
Thank you all
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Jill S
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:34 pm
- Location: Colorado
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi Jill,
So sorry to hear that coming out did not go as well as you had hoped. It does not surprise me though. The religious beleifs of people are just something we have to accept, as it is unlikely they will change thier views.
Having said that, I also think is it unlikely you will be able to supress your desire to crossdress. Even if you do, you will grow resentful when you realize that there is no appreciation for your sacrifice, as it will not be viewed as a sacrifice.
I tried to do what you are doing. I did not dress up for 14 years. I secretly wore panties and stockings, would paint my nails whenever my wife was away. In the end she got no pleasure for my sacrifice and I ended up resenting her for not allowing me "pursuit of happiness". In the end I was a very angry person that hated my life. That anger diminished the love I once felt for my exwife. Over the years we grew apart and by the time we divorced, neither of us had been happy for a very long time.
I don't know how you put this away without feeling resentment. I wish you luck in your endeavor and open unaccusing arms to welcome you back should you fail.
Love always,
Elizabeth
So sorry to hear that coming out did not go as well as you had hoped. It does not surprise me though. The religious beleifs of people are just something we have to accept, as it is unlikely they will change thier views.
Having said that, I also think is it unlikely you will be able to supress your desire to crossdress. Even if you do, you will grow resentful when you realize that there is no appreciation for your sacrifice, as it will not be viewed as a sacrifice.
I tried to do what you are doing. I did not dress up for 14 years. I secretly wore panties and stockings, would paint my nails whenever my wife was away. In the end she got no pleasure for my sacrifice and I ended up resenting her for not allowing me "pursuit of happiness". In the end I was a very angry person that hated my life. That anger diminished the love I once felt for my exwife. Over the years we grew apart and by the time we divorced, neither of us had been happy for a very long time.
I don't know how you put this away without feeling resentment. I wish you luck in your endeavor and open unaccusing arms to welcome you back should you fail.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Sally
- We Will Never Forget You - Rest in Peace
- Posts: 630
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:33 am
- Location: N.S.W. Australia
thank you all
Hi Jill,
Sorry to see that it hasn’t gone well for you with your wife, but sometimes we have to face the fact that some people will never come to terms with who we are and what we need to do, and indeed they don’t want to, they’re comfortable in their own ‘world’ and just shut some things out, but it’s their right to have their own opinions and beliefs.
Life is all about choices and making those choices. We make a certain choice believing at the time that it’s the right thing to do, we then have to test that choice to find out if indeed it was the correct one, if it is then fine, if it turns out different then we have to make adjustments and that’s what life and evolution is all about, choice and test.
I sincerely hope that everything works out for the best with you and your wife. We always have to look on the positive side of things and hope it all works out right for everyone concerned, but I don’t have to tell you the difficulties we face in trying to deny our natural instincts, and I wish you all the best. We’re here for you always if ever needed.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
Sorry to see that it hasn’t gone well for you with your wife, but sometimes we have to face the fact that some people will never come to terms with who we are and what we need to do, and indeed they don’t want to, they’re comfortable in their own ‘world’ and just shut some things out, but it’s their right to have their own opinions and beliefs.
Life is all about choices and making those choices. We make a certain choice believing at the time that it’s the right thing to do, we then have to test that choice to find out if indeed it was the correct one, if it is then fine, if it turns out different then we have to make adjustments and that’s what life and evolution is all about, choice and test.
I sincerely hope that everything works out for the best with you and your wife. We always have to look on the positive side of things and hope it all works out right for everyone concerned, but I don’t have to tell you the difficulties we face in trying to deny our natural instincts, and I wish you all the best. We’re here for you always if ever needed.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
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Stephanie W
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 905
- Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 9:57 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Jill
So sorry to hear things didn't go as well as you'd hoped. Nothing unusual in that at all, as this is never an easy topic to discuss with someone else - especially someone with different beliefs. Only we can truly know how we feel inside and we simply try our best to convey what we are and our innermost feelings to those we care most about. If that doesn't always work out as we want it too, then there's nothing wrong in just leaving it for another day. If you care about that person enough, never give up or lose hope they may one day come around.
To that end, keep the faith and we hope you'll come back to visit us one day to tell us about your wonderful progress together. I hope I can look forward to that as I'll be rooting for ya!
Take care Jill and best of luck to you both.
Stephanie
So sorry to hear things didn't go as well as you'd hoped. Nothing unusual in that at all, as this is never an easy topic to discuss with someone else - especially someone with different beliefs. Only we can truly know how we feel inside and we simply try our best to convey what we are and our innermost feelings to those we care most about. If that doesn't always work out as we want it too, then there's nothing wrong in just leaving it for another day. If you care about that person enough, never give up or lose hope they may one day come around.
To that end, keep the faith and we hope you'll come back to visit us one day to tell us about your wonderful progress together. I hope I can look forward to that as I'll be rooting for ya!
Take care Jill and best of luck to you both.
Stephanie
