Le Mer, and some serious gender-bend

[Anita]

Hi All—
This is about a ‘fun’ time as a CD, but it’s also a lesson in coping and public reaction. I’d say it’s more about that, and you’ll understand what I mean shortly.

I had to do a full day at the local gay support center on Saturday. I had volunteered to train the new facilitators for the other support groups.
One of the people working with me was another facilitator from our TG group. John is a great guy, very personable, and he's a good facilitator. So why the male name and pronouns?

I’ve mentioned John on here before. From the waist up, he’s a lumberjack—full beard, mustache, trimmed haircut, and male shirts. From the waist down, he’s got on a mini-skirt, hose, and heels. That’s John’s version of dressing, and some of the fulltime women have a hard time with it. John has no desire to wear forms, or even go near makeup. He’s very happy as is.
His wife does not care to go out with him, but is OK with him doing what he does on his own.

We worked from 9am to 6pm, and John had asked me if I wanted to join him afterward for a concert by the University of California student orchestra. He was looking forward to hearing Debussey’s La Mer, and that was one of my favorites as a child. So I said sure.

We went across the street and ate at the restaurant where the group socializes after meetings. No surprises there—the staff is used to us. It was lightly raining, but we had umbrellas. So we decided to walk the 10 or so blocks to the hall. Our route was up a commercial street to campus, and then a few blocks into the campus itself.

Telegraph Avenue is heavily populated. Students, homeless people, tourists—everyone’s up there. I’m looking forward to this walk, because with John, there’s no passing. It’s time to put on my stand-up comedy hat, because we aren’t going to go unnoticed.

I was wearing striped women’s pants with double hose, because it was COLD. I had on a red holiday sweater, and a heavy leather coat. Flats, no heels. John had on a similar heavy leather coat, but it wasn’t a long one. So the mini and the hose were on display.

Maybe the rain helped, but people did not particularly notice much. We were talking and laughing on the way up, and I did see a few people get wide-eyed—literally! It was pretty funny to see. A few street people got a surprised look, but no one said anything. That was not what I would have expected.

John was saying that generally people were tolerant, or amused, but occasionally he’d get an obnoxious guy, or a group of guys. No one has ever threatened him, though. He’s a tall guy, and fairly muscular, so he’s not someone you’d want to tangle with. At the same time, he’s got a definite disadvantage when he’s in heels.

We got to Hertz Hall in plenty of time. The doors hadn’t opened, so everyone was milling around on the Mezzanine. We got glances, and some amusement from college-age girls. The guys were being stoic, for the most part.

We both went into the men’s room, although I felt a little strange with that. I knew we were in no danger in there, this being Berkeley. But it was still pushing it a bit—I did have forms, and I was wearing makeup and women’s shoes. This is always a judgment call! If I had been wearing a dress, I would have gone for the women’s side. As out-there as John’s appearance may be, it’s still predominantly male, so his choice of restrooms is really the only one for him.

There was another couple there, pushing gender boundaries. The guy had on a dress (no forms), and some makeup, but was wearing combat boots. The gal was dressed in a suit and tie, with an elegant hat. They walked past me several times. I think they noticed me, but they chose not to speak.

I felt no pull to speak to them, either. I know that many younger gender explorers see male/female dynamics as "old hat," and don't care to deal with them at all. Having already had a tense encounter with a young "gender-queer" person at the center the day before, I had no desire to be shot at again. Unfair judgment, but I wanted to enjoy the night.

The concert was wonderful! The orchestra started out with a Sibelius symphony, No.4, a very dark and moody piece. But I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Listening to a live string section is a treat, even when they’re playing strange dissonances. The piece featured tritones, which is definitely a dissonant sound. (Think of the beginning sound of "Purple Haze, and that's it.)

Then they played a modern composition by a 29 year old composer, Mason Bates. (Rusty Air in Carolina.) He was present, and played an electronic device along with the orchestra. It was…an OK piece. There were enjoyable moments, but little emotion for me. John was more enthused about it. Later he said, “Once upon a time, I would have had no use for something that modern.”

Le Mer (the Sea) is a very evocative symphonic piece, and I could almost smell the moss on the rocks down at the beach. All the play of the waves and the sunlight is in there, and even some storm and gale. It brought tears to my eyes more than once. I watched the trumpet players deal with their (very) difficult part, and once again thought how glad I was that I stopped playing trumpet in college. It is a very physical instrument, and my diaphragm and teeth could not have handled it for a lifetime of playing.

The rain had stopped when we came out, and we walked out of campus back to the main street that borders it. John had taken the BART train up to Berkeley, and it was shorter for him to head directly downtown from there. I asked if he needed an escort. He said, “No, but I'll get out my pepper spray.”

At this point, five or six men were walking across the street. They were not college students. but much older Hispanic men, dressed more like gang members. They were glancing over, making some comments, but none of the comments were loud enough to hear. They begin bunching up over by a wall that borders campus, going about some business, while still watching us. I gave John a hug to send him off, and walked across the street. I probably should have looked back, but I didn’t. It’s a major intersection, and I didn’t really worry about either of us.

I didn’t get any glances on my walk back. I felt invisible, compared to earlier in the evening.

[Carol Ann]

Hi Anita,
Your story just goes to prove the point people just don't care, They look, they comment or laugh, and then go about their business. I learned this in Tri-Ess when I used to go out. We as cd'ers just have to hold our heads high and go about our own business. Enjoy life as it is short,

[Absaroka]

I love Sibelius.

Thanks for the interesting description.

Absaroka

[Anita]

Carol Ann wrote:

Your story just goes to prove the point people just don't care, They look, they comment or laugh, and then go about their business.

That definitely is the point, here, since it's an extreme example. Berkeley is a tolerant city, but what that really means is that maybe a majority will be tolerant. The loud and/or obnoxious ones will still be loud and obnoxious, if they want to be. But no one was, on this night.

Of course, it's a lot like what I learned in my years as a television delivery guy--don't show dogs and other animals any fear, and you'll generally be OK. That's like going to Carnegie Hall--practice, practice, practice.

Absaroka wrote:

I love Sibelius.

Thanks for the interesting description.

I had never heard anything quite like that from Sibelius. His Wikipedia entry said that he tried to break new ground for himself on each of his seven symphonies, and I had only heard his earlier ones, plus Findlandia.--my mother also played that a lot, when I was little.

That fourth symphony has lots of tritones in it, and that's a dissonant sound, for sure, the most famous example being the opening notes of Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze. There are stories that the interval was banned by the early church, but that may be myth. It did become known as "the devil's interval," though.

I use it lightly in my song about a T-girl's night out on the town (write what you know! ), and it creates a kind of "dreamy" effect when it's just used in passing. [for all you musicians, it's the lydian modal scale.]

I like dark music up to a point, and this symphony didn't get into that twentieth-century random-noise place.

[Virginia]

Anita,
thanks, Hon, for sharing this with us! If nothing else it may tell some of our sisters that we are all across the "crossdresser's continuum." That is one of the things that makes "us" so interesting.
The other side of the coin, so to speak, is we have to remember that was at Berkeley!!!! I mean..................... some folks, well you know how a lot of folks think about Berkely!?
Anyway I am glad you are out there for us and you too are a great ambassador for us!
Love ya,
Virginia

[Anita]

Virginia writes:

The other side of the coin, so to speak, is we have to remember that was at Berkeley!!!! I mean..................... some folks, well you know how a lot of folks think about Berkely!?

Hi Virginia--
Yes, I do know how a lot of folks think about Berkeley! It's an interesting town, for sure. There's a large conservative block in the town, mostly in the hill sections, but you'd never know it from the news. On the other hand, there used to be a guy who dressed in a pink body suit, and rode around on a unicycle. He was making a bold statement about...something, I don't remember what. And there was the Naked Guy, who attended classes at UC Berkeley in the buff. That went on for quite some time.

The Unitarian Church where I go sometimes is a very pure form of Berkeley. It's got a lot of sixties activitists, environmentalists, anarchists, and so on.

If the church wants to trim the weeds on the side of the building, it takes a three-hour meeting to get a "political" consensus on how it should be done. No chemicals! Were the clippers made in some other third-world country besides China? (They have a terrible human rights record)
Is someone allergic to the clippings if they stay in the compost bin too long? The pagans in the congregation might even have opinions on the best moon cycle for the cutting, too.

I'm poking some fun here, but it can be very exhausting to try to reach community agreement in Berkeley politics, whether at this church, or down at City hall. But...all the political correctness does work in favor of the TG folk who go out on the streets here, like John and myself.