Crossdressers-Haven.com

Two categories. Consider both within reason. Where do they begin, meet and end?

Hugs

Danielle

How about this: The normal one is a person that sees no differences among humans. The abnormal one is the one that needs to identify and classify differences among humans and draw lines in the sand.

Main Entry: 1nor·mal
Pronunciation: 'nor-m&l
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin normalis, from norma
1 : PERPENDICULAR; especially : perpendicular to a tangent at a point of tangency
2 a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3 : occurring naturally <normal immunity>
4 a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b : free from mental disorder : SANE
5 a of a solution : having a concentration of one gram equivalent of solute per liter b : containing neither basic hydroxyl nor acid hydrogen <normal silver phosphate> c : not associated <normal molecules> d : having a straight-chain structure <normal pentane> <normal butyl alcohol>
6 of a subgroup : having the property that every coset produced by operating on the left by a given element is equal to the coset produced by operating on the right by the same element
7 : relating to, involving, or being a normal curve or normal distribution <normal approximation to the binomial distribution>
8 of a matrix : having the property of commutativity under multiplication by the transpose of the matrix each of whose elements is a conjugate complex number with respect to the corresponding element of the given matrix

Main Entry: 1ab·nor·mal
Pronunciation: (")ab-'nor-m&l, &b-
Function: adjective
Etymology: alteration of French anormal, from Medieval Latin anormalis, from Latin a- + Late Latin normalis normal
: deviating from the normal or average : UNUSUAL, EXCEPTIONAL <abnormal behavior>
- ab·nor·mal·ly /-m&-lE/ adverb


Hi Girls:

One trait that seems consistent when people answer a question can be expressed as being:
The right answer. That is, the answer carries with it, the personality of the author. The answer has “leanings” or polarization equal to the individuals level of understanding.

I provided the traditional Webster’s description of the two words, from which, one can choose several possibilities depending on how the word is grammatically used in a sentence. Thus, my reasoning for only providing the two words in the title and a little intro in the first thread.

To me, if we are talking in generalities, society has a set thinking about what is “normal” and “abnormal.” Of course it will depend upon to whom you are speaking, that their social observations with skew their response according to the community social understandings that they are routinely exposed to.

I.E., a man professing to be a homosexual, would not normally indicate that his preference is “abnormal” if he is talking about and among people of a similar slant. So, isn’t it reasonable to say that people that are not of this slant, might speak among themselves about how abnormal that life style is. My point; as a distinct culture of the human society, can we then expect people that are not of our “slant” to share our feelings of being normal, whereas, they would most likely consider us “abnormal” when compared to the majority.

So, “normal, “abnormal” may be only an individuals perception based on cultural experience and not specifically, a diagnosed, recognized, mental health condition that may be treated with drugs, therapy, or both.

Standards vary in each culture. So if I wish to be accepted, perhaps I need to find and incorporate myself into a culture that considers me “normal.”????et al, forums, etc., that support my position.

The initial definition refers to ;
4 a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b : free from mental disorder : SANE.

Also
2 a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.

Since we often use these words to describe one that does not “conform” to the word’s description, for communication purposes and to imply their lack of conformance, it seems that we as a community, need to help adapt words into beliefs that support our culture in a positive way. The remaining question is, can this really be done?

Hugs

Danielle

Danielle, your subject line hooked me.

Now let's see...Normal is sone boy who puts $1500 worth of wheels on a $500 car, puts twice that much into a stereo that has no fidelity or trebel, ruins the nice paint by primering it, then can't seem to figure out how to keep his pants up!

Or the girl who spends huge bucks on aerobics and gyms, then pigs out with her friends regularly. She's the one who feels offended after the judge tells her that talking on the cell phone while driving isn't a good idea and fines her for the wreck she caused.

Or the man who goes to the football parties his buddies have because he doesn't want to feel left out, even though he couldn't care lees about football. He claims independence and boldness but is too scared of what others might think to do his own thing like us CDer's do.

Or the woman who cast her last election ballot for someone just because she 'think's he's cute. She thinks that by not saying anything, her hubby won't notice that she spent too much while out shopping using their credit card.

Yes, these are your average Americans, but they sure don't seem normal to me! But if you were to ask them this question...

Oh Well!
Penny T.

Indeed, both words seem to be very much dependent on the perspective of the person(s) using them.

A revelation of sorts that I had during my search of self. I now (after much deliberation) consider myself "normal". Yet if I meet someone who finds my appearance offensive, then I am "abnormal" to him/her.

So it seems that I am both normal and abnormal. Two sides of the same coin. It doesn't matter which side lands face up, either. It's still the same coin.

Hmmm..

Hugs,
Kyra

Gheesh girls! I would like to comment but this blonde is still trying to figure out how to use the headlight dimmer with her feet, you know the switch use to be on the floor not on the column.
But seriously, we as CD'ers tend to be above average in intelligence and thus it would appear that we can best determine what is normal and abnormal within our community. Outside of our community, there are just too many things that would tend to vary our determination of what is normal or not. Giving condoms to grade schoolers is that not abnormal?
Blowing up yourself &anyone around you to Kingdom Come just because you think there are 72? virgins waiting for you, normal?
Now I got another headache,
Love,
Deborah

Interesting topic Girls.

Normal = (A) One who is unwilling to shed the masks we all seem to come equipped with, at some point in our lives.
(B) Normal behavior - All those things that we do that say to the world look at me I am OK., that serve to take the attention away from who we really are. = Darlene's definition.

The struggle for me has been to be as un-normal as I can be.

Hello girls:

So it seems that we all so far have some “slant” on this idea of “normal” and “abnormal.” So if we all can agree that these two words, are defined by their usage and implications within any particular group of humans. Let’s just use the word “tribe," to replace the word group for now.

Be they “Western European” or “Central African,” or “North American,” the tribe to which you belong defines how the two words are applied within the confines of the culture to which they describe. Your "neighborhood tribe" speaks differently than another and so on.

It was normal for men to wear pants but not women at one time. It was normal for men to wear rather frilly blouses (Europe – 1500-1700) and women to wear corsets that were to die for and some did.

So, it appears that as with most cultural matters, we live in a “time period” that defines what is “normal” and “abnormal.” This to me means that it should not mean that one is less than or more than correct than another. Just that there are “conditions” to be met and that if we stray from those conditions, one might just be referred to as acting in an “abnormal” manner.

People, add to the meaning, variations or levels of distaste for this “abnormal” behavior. Wearing two different colored socks may get a few “stares” but little rejection by most. A man without appropriate disguising of his “Sex” will definitely be avoided or even harmed if he is wearing a dress at a baseball game.

When I go out into the world, dressed as Danielle, I still know about my crossing over into the world of the female of our species. Unlike a woman (GG) dressing and going out, I am always aware of my birth sex, that I am pretending as might be defined by what we perceive as “normal” or “abnormal” behavior.

What I am getting to is this. When I go out as Daniel, there is no mental thought about this. It is “normal.” When I go out as Danielle, I am always aware of the difference and know that I would be judged by the majority as “abnormal.” If all any person wants is to be accepted by their tribe, as humans do, is there a means by which I can assimilate this alternate appearance to the point of feeling unassuming and natural?


Hugs

Danielle

Danielle La Belle wrote:
If all any person wants is to be accepted by their tribe, as humans do, is there a means by which I can assimilate this alternate appearance to the point of feeling unassuming and natural?

I think that can be some what defined by who one allows to set the conditions of acceptance for their tribe. (others or ones self) If one allows others to set those conditions, is that not giving up your right and/or need to maintain control in your life?

The only place that I have found where I can assimilate this alternate appearance to the point of feeling unassuming and natural is in my home, (and that is suffient for me )I don't think it is possible to obtain that any where else. Another reason why I have chosen to remain single.

One might be able to achieve that in a setting such as a support group etc. but still not to the degree that I can at home. But perhaps some one would like to enlighten me.

To me, the lines in which humankind tries to define "normal" have always been blurred. What is considered "normal" is constantly changing every day. What was "normal" 10 years ago may not be the case today and vice versa.

I for one feel that abnormal is not necessarily a bad thing. True leaders throughout the world have never stayed within the confines of "normal".

I agree with you Lorna. Life is composed of so many gray areas that it is virtually impossible to define what is normal vs. abnormal, particularly in the realm of dress. We don't bat an eye anymore when we see a man with earrings or other jewelry, nor when we see a teenage girl with a nose ring or exposing her belly to show the world her belly button ring. In my humble opinion, these "behaviors" are essentially harmless and just a form of expression. On the other hand, I do recognize that my dressing en femme may seem to be abnormal to perhaps most of society, although in the grand scheme of things, I am really doing no harm to them. And that is the essential question I continually face...to what degree am I or will I "harm" my significant other, my children, my family or friends should I express myself in the manner I so desire. I won't be "harming" them in a conventional way, but I'm sure they'd think I was "abnormal" nonetheless. Just a thought...Heather

There is a point of responsibility in matters of family I think. At some time, we must consider our actions and how they may impact others in the immediate family. If we are selfish and only think of ourselves, what kind of "partner" can we be? After 35 years of marriage, I have learned to put others before myself and found that I am far more satisfied with those actions than if I had only served my own needs and wants.

It is always better to give than to receive. There can be no better reward in life than to quietly, without acknowledgement by others, benefit those loved ones that care for you so much!

Hugs

Danielle

Hi Girls,

The people that have made the most significant contributions to my life are those who I can not repay, They have given out of there abundance.
And personally I have been richly rewarded by benefiting those who can not return it, while not expecting any thing in return. As a result my needs are being fully met. Go figure.

Way to go sis!!! Yes those we can not seem to repay seem to have or have had the biggest influence on my life. As you may or may not know my wife told my 33 year old daughter that I was a crossdresser. Did she need to know? Should I have told her myself? Now its academic, however having raised the young lady to never accept anything at face value, she began studying about Cd'ing and with a bit of guidance from yours truly, I think she is beginning to understand this gift that her father has and that it is not an "abnormal" dare I say, "quirk." Our children usually leave home with certain defense mechinisms and hopes and dreams and hopefully we have taught them to expect the unexpected and how to deal with it. But eventually they will have to determine in their own minds what is "abnormal" or "normal." I, fortunately have raised a daughter that does not "shoot from the hip" so to speak. She is in the throws of trying to understand CD'ing and it may turn out she can not accept it, but if everyone would try and educate themselves on what they do not understand would we not all be better off?!
Love,
Deborah

Normal: financial limitations and mortality.

Abnormal: immortality or a bottomless bank account.


Some things remarkably unexpected are desirable; some things unremarkably routine aren't.

Yours,
Celia (AKA Li'l Abner Mallity )