Crossdressers-Haven.com

I know I've been a little more quiet than usual for the past few weeks, and I'm so sorry I've missed out on the last couple of Saturday night chats. We've had an extended family visitor that will continue for the near future. I've gotten so used to being able to dress freely on weekends and evenings! What's a girl to do? These circumstances have represented both a challenge and, surprisingly, an opportunity.

After 20 years "in the closet" I've simply started exploring more and more ways to express my femininity proudly. Our guest is pretty open-minded so I've just decided to be comfortable and see how it goes over. On many evenings and through the weekend I've taken to a 100% feminine wardrobe both at home and out in public by embracing borderline androgynous styles - capri-length pants instead of skirts, sometimes with tights that might or might not pass as socks, earrings that aren't too flashy, light makeup without eyeliner, a purse that you might call a shoulder bag with a straight face, etc.

it's amazing how little difference it has made in how people interact with me. Those I talk to don't react with shock, and just as many people smile my way as before. While they often call me "ma'am" before they look too closely that's nothing new! It's been happening a few times a week for my entire adult life. Why not accept it as a complement?

... and our guest? She's been very complementary of my "cute" outfits and my wife has been gloating about the expanding collection of clothing we can share. What could have been very frustrating has been a great experience. In fact, I feel like I'm dreaming some days! Instead of chafing under self-imposed limits I've felt relatively free to be me. (Of course I long to wear some of my favorite skirts and more of my earring collection, but it's manageable. The only thing I really miss is hanging out with all of you as much as I used to.)

How many girls out there have found a middle-ground between drab and en femme that works for them? Have you been successful at taking cover under the "metrosexual" umbrella?

Bravo Kimberly. I would love to follow in your footsteps.

I'm a purse and skirt woman, but hardly ever wear makeup.

A purse that could be a bag/purse on its own is just that.
Tights that could be tights/socks on their own are just that
You will occasionaly see men in capri's (whatever they call mens capri's) in some settings, beach, boats, other summer outdoor stuff but they are generally seen as womans pants most of the time.

When you put all of them on, its a womans outfit that is your style rather than a middle ground type thing, same as when I'm in jeans and a fem top/shoes, its not a middle ground outfit, its just seen as a woman in jeans.

If your getting called Ma'am often your presenting as feminine. If its in your comfort level try this experiment. wear your androngynous outfit out and about as you go through your day and note peoples reactions. At some point change to a pair of feminine womans shoes, they don't need to be heels just something thats not questionable. You'll probably not notice any difference in people's reactions to you the rest of the day.

People generally pick up more of your attitude, movements and mannerisms then clothes

Way to go Kimberly! I myself like the "expanded" wardrobe. When I go out shopping without my better half I can always say "but honey this would great n Elayne".

Amanda Barber wrote:When you put all of them on, its a womans outfit that is your style rather than a middle ground type thing

I understand and agree with you to some extent. Clearly from my own point I'm able to express my feminine side this way, and there's zero question that the outfit is strongly feminine in character. On the other hand, without a skirt/dress or breast forms or anything else it gives enough room for interpretation that people seem to feel free to interpret me as either side of the gender divide. I know where I stand, and they can pick whatever makes them most comfortable. That's what I meant about the "middle ground."

If your getting called Ma'am often your presenting as feminine.

... though not consciously. It's been common since before I discovered my love of cross-dressing. Now I know better why I never took it as an insult and always felt akward when people tried to apologize once they realized I was male!

People generally pick up more of your attitude, movements and mannerisms then clothes

I couldn't agree more. Comfort and confidence are also critical, because everyone takes a little extra time to investigate why someone seems nervous or unsure of themselves.

Kimberly Kael wrote:
How many girls out there have found a middle-ground between drab and en femme that works for them? Have you been successful at taking cover under the "metrosexual" umbrella?

Hi Kimberly ,

I have had many good years living the androgynous lifestyle and with longhair at the time I was commonly mistaken for a girl , unfortunatly my petite curvy figure has gone along with my longhair.

I didn't need to dress-up or wear make-up , I could walk into a shop and be called " Ma'am , luv , Miss or young lady " in just in my normal jeans or track pants.

Those magic days have gone but I remember each incident of mistaken gender fondly.

The two most memoriable were--

Age 14 being called a girl in front of 200 people by a host at a dolphin show ( there's a thread about that if you care to search )

Age 24 a male friend of mine spoke to a stranger at a nightclub for hours , when the place closed and the loud music stopped bright lights came on , I spoke to the guy myself who then replied " sh** you just turned into a bloke".

My SO shares or gives me her "Hand me downs". Since she lost some weight, she given me some of her knit dresses. When we go out, she checks me out first. I am called mam in public places as well as the lingerie stores. It is nice to blend in, but more make-up is needed as I get older.

Kimberly Kael wrote: How many girls out there have found a middle-ground between drab and en femme that works for them? Have you been successful at taking cover under the "metrosexual" umbrella?

I don't know how usual this is, but I've never had any interest in the middle ground. I'm either in full feminine mode, ready to go out with the clothes, makeup, wig - or else I'm wearing regular male clothing. I think it comes down to your personal motives for dressing. My enjoyment of CD'ing comes from being seen in public as a woman, so anything less than a total transformation (or as close as I can get) doesn't do anything for me.

While I don't take cover under any sort of metrosexual label, I mix and match according to my whim and what I'm doing. I often wear the long hippie type skirt and a hoodie and just stroll, only tourists seem to notice. I love girls sweaters, and the climate here makes it perfect for them, so I wear them a lot with a chimise under it. I have a lot of 'girls' pants, mostly because the elastic waistband is more comfortable to work in. And when I climb at work, I use ballet shoes because the leather soles grip the pipes better, and the construction allows me to bend/wrap my foot around the pipes better also. I always wear very fem sox, which tend to at least some pink, they are almost a trademark for me.