Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

Just been reading the latest attempt of various presidential hopefuls to ingratiate themselves to the gay and lesbian community. A thought occurred to me: how can we (meaning heterosexual CDers) make ourselves more acceptable?

Just pretend we are gay, and then we can dress and act as we wish and no one dare object.

Hugs,

Lydia

Hi Lydia.

If I understand well, you are asking how can we integrate ourselves to the gay and lesbian communities?

I would say to that... do we want to integrate ourselves to them? And to what degree?

I don't feel any need to become part of the gay community. Nor the lesbian community. More important than that is to feel a part of society as a whole, at least to me.

But assuming you really wanted to become a part of their community... wouldn't it be a lot better if they were the ones who would be able to accept the fact that you are not gay? If somebody wouldn't be able to accept me because I'm not gay, frankly, may have to reconsider if I want to hang around with them, to start with.

And do you want to pretend to be gay? How do you pretend to be gay?

If you are looking for a place where you can dress and act as you wish, why would you want to limit that acceptance to a community in particular?

* having said that, based on personal experiences, most lesbain gals will totally reject the drag queen image, or anything that they may see as something that mocks women... huge breasts, excesive makeup, etc, etc. Easier to be 'accepted' by them if you present as a woman, not as a guy playing to be a woman.

Regards,
Gaby

Hi Lydia
I think the point about T-rights has nothing to do with sexual orientation, but rather that we might present ourselves differently than the "mainstream". I never go out by myself anymore....safety with others. Just read here, as you do, we're a bit more prolific than some think, you might never know if your best friend is one of us. Its not "gay" or anything like that..its the "guy in a dress" syndrome that makes us different, more visible to bigots, because honestly, we all can be "clocked". But, it all boils down to the fact that most people don't care how we are.....the pending legislation in many places just protects your rights to present yourself as you wish, without harrassment. Whats happening is all good, albeit not an overnight solution. We, as CDs, are on the tail end of everything, but as I've found, we are part of the community.
hugs
DeeDee

OMG

I should have added:

to my post. I did not mean to evoke a serious discussion.



Lydia

LOL, Lydia
I'm so sorry...life can be so serious at times and we don't have to be always. Its the weekend, my GF will be here soon and its time just to enjoy what we have. My main concern will be getting a tan, which is hopeless, but I have been teased enough about not having one
So enjoy
DeeDee

Well Lydia, guess it will turn serious, I guess because it is, to some of us.

It is my considered opinion that we = we who are actually a part of the "CROSSDRESSER'S CONTINUUM" will not be recognized by ANY presidential candidate, we will continue to be lumped together under the GLBT banner and any legislation that is passed that benefits us will not be as the result of any "group action" that we take!

What I have found is that those of us who are really not one of us but actually in need, desire, want, have to have the SRS are of the mind that they want to remain stealth, under the radar, anonymity it the ultimate goal! It is "just leave me the hell alone while I become who I was meant to be and once I achieve that ----------- I'm gone!!!!!"

We who will not make that flight of fancy and remain dedicated to the continuum ----------- well, its the old adage, "everyone has to be somewhere."

We all know where each of us individually stand, do we not?? Basically, we as a Group Dynamic are not about to protest, to march, to face the politician, or for that matter the "great unwashed" not necessarily for the thought of getting our noses bloodied, (like the gays and lesbians did) but for exposing to our family, friends, relatives, associates, strangers, who we are. I mean, a heterosexual, most (and it has been proven) of superior intelligence, most married with children, good jobs, stalwart icons of the community and we love to wear clothing that society says is limited to the female of the species! No, you won't see us out in public with an "in your face" march, sign, or anything else that would undermine what without "the gift" we have achieved!

I see it at the meetings I attend, the Virginia Equality for example, there was only one person there that could actually be placed on the "crossdresser's continuum" and this gathering was attended by over 150 people all of whom where looking simply for to be recognized as an individual and have claim to all the rights afforded every other American with out fear of discrimination.

Then there is the club scene where at mid-night, the doors are flung open and 40 - 50 ladies mysteriously appear, but by the projected rising of the sun -- where the hell did they all go???? Could be your brother, your neighbor, your best friend, the guy at the desk next to yours, that trucker that just blew past you on the interstate, that pilot who welcomes you on board your next flight, could even be that guy in the white lab coat who tells you, "now cough!" or "take two aspirin and call me in the morning!"

But show up in day light, with a sign, DRESSED or walk into the office of an elected official and ask where he/she stands on the "Right to Dress" law? Ain't gonna happen. We are for lack of a better term, "The Coattail Riders!" Our fault, our plight, our lot in life?????????????? Not part of this discussion.

In a couple of weeks, the "Triad Pride" will have a three day meeting in and around Greensboro, NC. Big turnout, but the day after it is over, we are back where we were, asking "Where the hell did everyone go?"

See the latest British study??? It appears that GG's are more attracted to guys with feminine tendencies! HELLO???? Is anyone home!

I am outta here, guess I will see you in HOT TOPICS now!

Love you all,

Virginia

I could run for president dressed as Merinda or in drab and the result would be the same.



Other than sporting social clubs we dont have a president of Australia

Well, the weekend is over and back to the grind. I'm trying to get a bit more involved in our community, if just as a good will ambassador. Its easy to say we should be marching with signs and "in your face" stuff, but life gets complicated and its not possible for all...heck, in reality there are not a lot of us that feel ok "out". Anyones first priority must be to take care of the daily things to keep their life from tumbling off track. So, if you can, speak up....but we all can only do what we can. Oh, btw....I did have a nice weekend with my Gf (new pic in the gallery), and we did chat with others when we went out about about a lot of the issues concerning GLBT....it can be good, really..it just takes dialogue.
DeeDee

Hi Girls

You just have to go with the flow and be a realist. One thing for sure is all of us here are male on the outside dressing as women for all sorts of reasons. There is Gender Identity Disorder, Autogynephilia, Gender Dysphoria, Androphilic (Homosexual Transsexuals), Transwomen, Gender Queer, and many other labels. If you hate labels you're out of luck. That's life.

If you think you are 100% man think again girls. I'm here to tell you you're not. Get a grip, people.

A man who is completely a man does not ever dress in women's clothes. That's fine. Think about why you do it. Is it a sexual turn on? Do you feel you are a woman? The best I've heard is "I'm a lesbian woman." That's having your cake and eating it too, guys. Some people can't handle the truth and lie to themselves and others their whole lives. I think of Cher and Nicholas Cage in "Moonstruck" when she slaps him in the face and says, "Snap out of it!" Hugs ladies.

Love
Jeannie

Maybe my original post ought to be taken seriously after all.

In Larry King's recent interview with TG's and TS's, the general attitude was that if you wear a dress but still have a penis, you are merely a crossdresser. That puts down so many of us heteros who merely want to crossdress.

No wonder we lack the acceptance granted to gays and completed transexuals.

On to "Hot Topics"

Lydia

Larry King was definitely being an backside during that show Lydia. Using wrong pronouns, and calling transsexuals crossdressers just because they were non-op or pre-op. I don't understand why trans individuals put themselves on national tv just to be degraded.

And the LGB community, at least at HRC (Human Rights Commission) showed themselves to be less than bothered with trans issues during the recent debate/forum with the democratic hopefuls.

Only one trans question was asked to only one of the candidates. And I know a number of questions were submitted to HRC by the trans community. Pretty disappointing.

http://transadvocate.com/blog/2007/08/1 ... -equality/

One on one, one person at a time is the most solid route. That 'in your face stuff' is important, for often its about protection, but protection is not accepting.

See what you started, Lydia? Donna makes a good point..to the great majority, a guy in a dress is Milton Boyle, Flip Wilson, Tootsie, etc. A "he" in a dress. All played up for humor and very few understand the realities and what a lifestyle issue it is. A good percentage of the people around them (many they might know), have hidden it for years. When "alternative" life styles comes up as a public topic, most think gay or lesbian. TG is a totally new and unfamiliar topic to them. As Virginia said, it could be your pilot (rest assured we read Jepps in the cockpit and save the Victorias Secret catalog for later), dentist, doctor, whoever. Its a slow process, but the more that meet us the better. Its slowly coming around...slowly. Just a ramble here, but as long as we present ourselves nicely, its a start.
Deedee

Hi Girls:

Oh no, here comes that Danielle Marie.... ! Hide!

I have read the current entries with much interest. I want to say:

The world is made up of Countries with borders. Each has a language and customs that are specific to that country. Each purports to swear allegiance and support to their birth country. The majority then support their own local region, state etc and their local county and city, hamlet, village. Hmmm. Are you getting my point here!

The USA is the "melting pot" of the world. We have all of these people now swearing allegiance to their new Country. My point is that as a species, we seem bent on joining up with similar, compatible individuals. We are joiners for survival and a plethora of other reasons, religious, political, social etc.

We try to choose a "club" that is going to be beneficial to our cause and well being. Choosing a minority cause may not be as beneficial as one might think at first blush. Obviously, the "majority club" does not see us as being eligible members for the most part.

So we then begin our search for a group that is responsive to our needs and that we think can be of some positive benefit. I am thinking of the Spartan 300 and their demise girls. They fought bravely, but were eliminated in the end by King Xerxes, the Great King or Persia (486-465). None the less they defended their way of life with honor, courage, fortitude, determination, and unity under one cause..but they are dead and gone! A litte something to think about there!

Our real problem is we do not have a political party that can promote our cause. At the first sign of a fight....we run to payless and a two-fer sale on shoes! Now really girls, how are we ever going to get the well earned attention from the majority if we do that every time their is a skirmish of sorts. Susan Stanton .... et al! Outlandish Gay Pride parades that really turn off the majority and are really forgotten about the very next day.

We pull up our skirts and high-tail it out of town.. Live to fight another day! Perhaps a guerrilla like movement might be in order. Look at all the attention those "al Qaeda" guys are getting. The US is spending billons chasing them down. Heck, after a few small raids, we throw up the white flag (with the TG logo) and say we give up...you got us for keeps. Then, we ask for some land and of course ..financial "support" like those little 3rd world countries do. We promise not to be a bother any more if we get some regular "support" and no I am not talkin' bout panty hose girls! Ya see, there you go again... off to the store to shop!

Serious people get serious things done. What are you willing to do to help?

Danielle Marie
"Tongue in cheek I suppose...but none the less not far off the mark!"

Yes, "The 300" are gone, but not because they were overcome by a stronger force, history tells us that they were "done in" by a spy or spies who told the Persians how to sneak around behind them. Who is sneaking around behind us??? Well the gays and lesbians who "shed their blood" in the streets for "their" cause, but most of them are now passing from the scene and passing the torch on to a younger, much more accepting generation of gays and lesbians, gays and lesbians who did not have to fight for a cause. Just like the "Greatest Generation" as it won't be much longer before those folks who fought and won WWII will be just memories. I even see the guys now on TV that are of my generation that were in Nam and they are looking, dare I say, old! but I digress.

I think sister Tekla said it and we all know it, for us it is going to be a "one at a time." Oh, I firmly believe that in the not too distant future, science will proclaim that "WE ARE" - that we are normal and they will research our threads here and find that some nuttso member who called herself "Virginia" was actually right!!!!!!!! That we are the next phase in human evolution!!!

Keep the faith, sisters.

Love ya all,

Virginia