Crossdressers-Haven.com

I know I should be ready if I am willing to do this, but let me explain.

I am wearing a White sleeveless top with a lacy insert, a skort that looks more like a skirt , shaved legs just bare skin and a pair of fisherman sandals. joking with my wife that when it gets darker I'll just run out and empty the trash. I wait a bit....

and dash out side carrying the trash. I lookup and oops the neighbor across the street is in the driveway. thats about all I saw because by that time I had lifted the lid ,dumped the trash in, and slammed the lid shut. it was truly the loudest sound there. turn around and strut back in.

I figure I'll let them make the next move if there is one.

So what do you all think?

Is my coming out party going to happen this summer?

Depends on how far away your neighbor was, and how dark it was.

Of course, the more chances you take, the more likely your party is to happen.

So what do you all think?

Is my coming out party going to happen this summer?

Kind of depends on when you send out the invitations

xox
Silvia

I know where you're coming from, because I generally wear a skirt and heels, breasts, and full makeup to take the garbage out because that's how I'm usually dressed on Sunday night. It's fun to step outside, even for the few steps to the curb ... but I don't think it's likely to lead to any major breakthroughs in communication with your neighbors.

First of all I think you need to decide whether or not you want to come out, and to whom. Secondly, you're likely to have to initiate any conversation on the subject. In my experience people will generally turn a blind eye and ignore any behavior they don't know how to deal with, to the extent of avoiding you if they're uncomfortable with the situation. The last thing they're likely to do is acknowledge your behavior, doubly so if you're acting at all skittish about it (I couldn't really tell from your description of the event.)

Don't let any of this stop you from having fun or making a weekly event of it! Just temper your expectations of how people will react. I found that these baby steps were more important for building comfort and confidence in myself than anything else.

HI Aislin,

It seems that my approach to this "whole thing" is different from a lot of my sisters here, but then again I probably don't have as much to loose?

I offer a few platitudes:

Does your neighbor own your house or car or carry you mortgage or are you somehow otherwise indebted to him? If not well............... you can figure it out from there.

It has always been my philosophy that the only person that you really need to impress, is the one that signs your paycheck! If you are self-employed again it is a matter of who your clients, customers, etc., are.

Evidently your wife supports you to some degree, so who else holds sway over your existence and what can they do to, for or against you??

You only get one shot at this "trip around the sun" so how important is it to you to enjoy the trip or let others control your adventure?

These can be heavy questions for some, for others it is a game and for some it can be a step to security in being who you think you are or should be. Unfortunately some of our sisters never find that "balance" in their lives and give up, live in the closet - unhappily for all their lives, while others simply bite the bullet and allow that special aspect, ie, their gift to run free in their lives.

Good luck hon, and we are here for you. Again I am somewhat the exception I guess as I have found that balance and I and my SO are thoroughly enjoying our "Magical Mystery Tour!"

Keep us posted,

Love,

Virginia

Hi Aislin,

My thoughts are that your'coming out party' can happen when you wish.

I have the thought that you're consciouly or sub consciously willing it to happen, but not knowing your personal circumstances and the effects it would have on your life and the lives of your family as far as your neighbours are concerned, if you 'came out', it's difficult to have much input.

Maybe it's all a forerunner to the next step in your 'journey'. I can remember years ago, the desire within me to be able to walk free as the person I am and be dressed accordingly, used to build up to unbearable heights, and I used to take those night time release walks ( as I used to call them), and eventually the desire to break free of society's constraints became stronger than the perceived consequences, so I made the big decision that the time had come, and whatever deriding thoughts anyone had was going to be more their problem than mine.

So, guess what, when Sally was 'publicly born' the sky didn't fall in, those who turned their back on me weren't important in the mix of it all anyway, and life went on as it always was, well not quite, life improved and I became a happier easier person to know, and everyone who mattered to me and loved me, still do. Of course I looked back and asked myself why on earth didn't I do it many years earlier, and we all know the answer to that don't we.

Sometimes we do things or put ourselves into situations where we may be found out, because we consciously or sub consciously wish we could be found out, and that saves us the task of making the hard decisions and fighting our fears. Maybe this is something which applies to you in this situation.

I wish you well.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Hey girls,

I don't have much to add. I just wanted to say that Virginia and Sally both offer great advice, as we have become accustomed to. Good job girls.

Love Always,
Elizabeth

Of course my perspective here is somewhat different as I have been very 'out' since almost the first day I started crossing - I thought and dreamed about it for years, but I bought my first outfit specifically so I could wear it out to the club. Obviously, such a pace would not be appropriate for everyone's life - as I have no wife, no children, no significant work responsibilities, and no great regard for my image in the eyes of 'normal' society. (I don't know the meaning of 'baby steps' ) I guess my point is, go at your own pace. If you feel you need to tell the world about your 'gift', throw a ravin' party and invite all the friends and nieghbours. If you just want to take out the trash, well then, IT'S TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH! Just don't try to run in those heels before you can walk in them.

Thanks for all the answers / opinions and maybes. You have provided more guidance than I thought possible. many many thanks to my sisters for listening and providing intelligent feedback.

I am not alone. My SO looked at me and said "Oh Well". What am I going to do? Curl up and die because someone may have seen me? I think not.

I think I was pushing the envelope and went a little past the edge. I did not fall off the world, it did not end. Thinking about it now I recognize the that I took the risk. I need to take the responsibility as well.

Will I do it again? YES!!!!
Will I be a little better prepared? MAYBE!!
Will I fear what may happen? NO!!!!
Do I have a chance of passing? Not unless it is real dark moonless night and the person watching is blind!
I will embrace the change, I will not fear it.

My point is: we all make choices. Some Good and some bad. I will choose to make choices on a whim and deal with whatever happens. I will not shy away from change, fore change is challenge, and life is too short to be bored.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. What ever you are gonna do just get busy.

No Regrets!!!!

Dear Aislin



I would like to take your philosophy, bottle it up and sell it on street corners. I'd make millions!!!!!!!!!!! - (I'd share it with you of course )

Kay

Do I have a chance of passing? Not unless it is real dark moonless night and the person watching is blind!

Great attitude!

Stephanie