Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

I know the Cross Dressers Discussion Forum--which has been around for several years now--is closing down soon. (This, in itself, warrants my starting this thread in the "Coping for CD's" section.) If I'm not mistaken, some of the members from the CDDF have already started to join our own forum. I bid these good folks a warm welcome.

I'm still a member of the CDDF and I pop over there once in a while. I came over here over four years ago as a refugee of sorts, when the CDDF was going through a rough spot; even though I call this forum my online home (for that is what it feels like), I made my first regular online posts on the CDDF. The fact that it's going offline has got some of the "elder" members a mite anxious. This got me thinking about what it is, exactly, that draws us back to a forum, any forum, time and again. I think the answer is, in a word: family.

A place such as this (and, for their own longstanding members, the CDDF) is where you go when you need to go somewhere where you know that people will not turn you away nor judge you too harshly. A "Cheers" of sorts, where everybody knows your name. Especially if you've been a member for a long time. They know who you are; they love and appreciate you for who you are; they feel they can call you on your bullcrap and still remain friends with you; they'll lend you a shoulder to cry on and raise you up when you feel low. Laugh along with you when you're happy. Brothers and sisters. All sexes, all genders, and all orientations confounded. A family. Certainly a family like I, for one, feel I've never had.

This got me thinking some more (somebody, please, stop me! ): one of the reasons it can be tough for new members to speak up (or even to join) is that there must be some supposition on their part that, this being like a big family, they must, in a way, have to go through an "adoption process." Possibly, they fear that process. They fear being rejected, not being considered up to snuff, not fitting in, not being welcomed as a brother or sister in our family. These fears are groundless. I'll set the following sentence apart, just so it be clear to everyone that

All are welcome here.

To non-posting readers out there: You'll never know if you'll fit in until you try to snuggle up to us (and we're very cuddly... as if that weren't already obvious). You'll have a better chance of fruitfully exploring your emotional innards if you share your journey with us. This is quite aside from any advice members here may have to offer you. And I guarantee you'll enjoy the sense of connection you'll find here as you get to know us and we get to know you. We don't bite. I swear. Although we bare our teeth often, we do so only when we smile or laugh.

To (soon-to-be-ex-) members of the CDDF: though some of you will be hurting--one CDDF member, SRVfan, has stated that it feels as though a friend is moving to another planet--there is a balm to be had on this board, too. So don't be shy; pop in and say hello. Some of you will undoubtedly wind up on other forums, and that's fine, too. Just remember that--in friendship and mutual respect--again, all are welcome here.

I look forward to seeing new arrivals drop in soon.

Love,
CJ

CJ is so right! We are a family, a sorority we love, we share, we cajole, we cry, laugh, hold each other and on many occassions actually reach out and touch each other. I know all the members here that SL and I have had the pleasure to meet are the sweetest people I know. There are many more that I so much want to meet personally. (I have also gotten dictates that say, "If you come near me I will call the cops!) JUST KIDDING!!!! Jeannie! You hot momma you!!!!

Anyway, one thing that needs to be said we do have moderators and some of them are as mean as a snake!!!! ------- again -- JUST KIDDING!
But they do have rules to guide them and we have had some people removed from the forum for not abiding by our rules.

As CJ said we can agree to disagree on various topics and still remain sisters as long as we do it in a civil manner.

Oh, and if any of the newbies see all those ruts, drag marks and broken fingernails and maybe a bit of blood between here and the "Woodshed!" Yes, I will admit most of it is mine as I have been drug off to our woodshed probably by more GG's and some of our sisters than anyone else, but I keep trying to appease, well up to the point of my hypocracy only goes so far!

And I will say that this forum saved this girl as well and again and again, Thanks for all you do, my sisters ------ I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Virginia

In a way it's sad to see CDDF closing down after so many years. I left there and joined here about four years ago because CDDF wasn't regulated and it was becoming open slather, which made people easy targets for those who delighted in verbally attacking others. I drew a lot of personal criticism at the time because I was one of the people who criticised those who flamed others, but it was always going to be a losing battle in an unregulated public forum.

It wasn't an easy decision for me at that point in time to leave because I'd been an inaugural member of CDDF, and I'd made a lot of close friends ( some of whom I still retain) and over the early years we'd become 'a family' and many good things were done for people, but as I tried to tell people ( including James) at that time, unregulated forums dealing with topics such as ours are targets and open to abuse on the WWW, thereby only having a certain life span.

The good thing was by then we had this forum to revert to, and I well remember at the time this forum was started and during it's early days, it drew its' fair share of criticism and was doomed to failure by a section of regulars on CDDF, but it just goes to show and prove, that even in the world we live in today, genuine intent by the site creators, quality of thought, sensible regulation, love of our fellow human beings and a real live sense of wanting to do something good in providing a safe place for those who may be in distress or just need a kind helping word, will always prevail.

We may all be separated by lines on a map, or oceans, and be thousands of miles apart, but in the end we are of the same ilk, mind and thought, and we all share a common bond which draws us closer together than some would think could possibly ever happen. We all have an interest in a common cause which draws us together as a group. We may not always agree on details, but then what 'family' ever does? That's why we keep a lock on the woodshed, come callaboose....just kidding V.

Hopefully we'll have more people join in the coming days, because we can never have enough input, there's always something new to hear and it's just nice to be associated with nice people who know and understand what we're saying.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Hey CJ,

I used to go over there now and again. I still do sometimes. I too would like to welcome our sisters from there and hope that their experiences here is as wonderful as ours has been. To my new sisters, I know you will find friendship and support here. We are a close group and many times we cry together. But we also have had many celebrations together.

One of the things the majority does think is that this thing we have, it's not a curse, but a gift. And what you do with that gift is up to you. There are no judgments here. Only the support of knowing you are not alone. We stand with you.

Welcome sisters.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Elizabeth wrote: We are a close group and many times we cry together. But we also have had many celebrations together.

One of the things the majority does think is that this thing we have, it's not a curse, but a gift. And what you do with that gift is up to you. There are no judgments here. Only the support of knowing you are not alone. We stand with you.

Well said Elizabeth ,

I have visited the forum in question but never joined it , I prefer to use only two forum sites otherwise you spend your time repeating issues from one site to all the others.
This site is where I started , this site is HOME

Well I have to pop in and say what I feel. My first forum was CDDF but I soon stopped writing because of all the flaming and BS in general.

I have nothing again anyone joining this forum but as wonderful a place as it is I pray it will not go the route of the CDDF.

Sorry folks it's my feelings

Hi all,

Carol Ann,

I think the troubles the CDDF went through weren't peculiar to the CDDF but, rather, to any unmoderated forum out there. I think there's very little chance of that happening here; this board is pretty well moderated. Uh, I think.

Love,
CJ

CJ wrote:Hi all,

Carol Ann,

I think the troubles the CDDF went through weren't peculiar to the CDDF but, rather, to any unmoderated forum out there. I think there's very little chance of that happening here; this board is pretty well moderated. Uh, I think.

Love,
CJ

Yes, the Gestapo run a tight ship here. lol But I like the gestapo,, I'd like to be Ilsa She Wolf of the forum.

Hmmm... all of a sudden, I hear the creaking of leather and the snapping of a whip... Yikes!



CJ

At one point I used to go to the other forum but found I liked it here more.
Our moderators come in for a bit of hostility now and then but my experience is that they are neccesary for a good forum and I appreciate not only the time they put in but the thought they sometimes have to expend on what and how to moderate things.

Absaroka

Yep I will have to admit I have had my hands slapped a time or two for being a bad girl,

Hi All-
The CDDF was my first 'home' on the net. The flaming got bad, yes, but it was more the scrolling nature of a the forum that got to me. A thought-provoking post had a half-life of one afternoon, and it was a really hot issue, it might be around for two days. Then it was history.

If it didn't get any replies, then it was history within hours. Many of my posts went unanswered and/or unnoticed--you couldn't tell, since there was no view count. Then there was the void that all letters and requests went into. I never did understand that. Unmoderated is one thing, but no administration was puzzling.

So as much as I loved the place, its limitations finally got to me. I'd like to see some of my old friends over here--we'll see if they come in when there's no longer any alternative. I'll say it again, I am very grateful for the constant moderation that goes on here; the stability of this forum doesn't just 'happen.'

When CDDF was "on," it was really good. Here's an exchange that Dixie Darling put on her website:

http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/freshviews.htm

It will be nice to have more sisters to talk with. other viewpoints, new ideas and return of some old ones

*hugs*

Zara

Hi Girls,

My eyes were as I was trying to read the posts by CJ and Virginia. Got them dried in time to start again as I tried to read on down the thread.

CDDF has been my CD home since looking for someone else I could talk to. Some of my friends on both forums had encouraged me to come over here, but I waited till almost the last minute. I am probably going to loose track of some of my friends from the CDDF which hurts, but I guess that is life.

Excuse me it is time again.

Sorry girls tonight is sort of a down night for me.
Hope for a better tomorrow.


Leeza

While it's always sad to see a favourite forum close, the bonds we have made through our friendships in this online world of ours are often strong enough to keep us motivated to find somewhere else to call home. Where better than here, where we have such a great community of caring and supportive people? I personally welcome everyone who may be apprehensive about crashing someone else's party because we are all sisters of the same family, albeit it from many walks of life and many different places. Sharing a common bond is reason enough to feel comfortable among the many potential new friends you will find here. So don't be shy, why not join us and share your experiences.

Stephanie