Have you been caught

[Merinda]

just as I settled on the couch I heard a key in the lock, as I got to my feet it was too late, the door was open and my oldest daughter was looking right at me. As i walked to my room to change she said "Nice outfit dad". She never said anything to my wife and has never made any other coments to me about it, but I sure she knows I still dress up

Phyliss ,

Sounds like you daughter may have secretly known beforehand , or at least had an incling .
For her to be so unreactive makes me feel that she was ready for the day that she would see you. Maybe wrong but thats my theory.

Yes this topic has been covered some years back , however I posted my story again (more detailed) for the sake of the newer members.

[PhylissH]

My wife found out the same way as my daughter, not long after we were married, I kinda allowed it to happen.Not long after the incedent with my oldest daughter she moved away for school. I still have to keep things under wraps with my other daughter, mainly for my wife's sake. Now that I am getting out fairly regularly bieng seen/caught does not seem like such a big deal. My wife knows that I go out to lunch or shopping, and I feel that many of our friends would probably not care as long as I did show up at there house as Phyliss. Having said that, I would not want the folks at work to know as it could cause some athoritative problems, ( being a boat captain.)

[Berta]

One time by my wife, I was wearing a pair of black stirrup pants(dating myself), brown clogs and a t-shirt with bra. She asked what I was doing and I said I was just testing the waters. She never said anything else. Just recently I have been CDing more than ever before. I have even built up the nerve to go shopping in male mode. My collection has grown alot in that past month. I think she still knows but hasn't brought it up. I think if it does come out, I am prepared for a long talk with her about it.

[Michelle Miller]

I'd say the closest I've ever gotten to being 'caught' was a few years ago, when I ran into my brother-in-law at a local GBLT nightclub, where I found out he was dating a pre-op friend of mine that did drag shows there.

So I confronted him, after he saw her off to do her second show of that night, asking "OK, level with me, are you or are you not dating Jacquie?"

"Mike? "

Well, they're as married as they can be in Tennessee now, and needless to say, she's my favorite sister-in-law.

[Dottie]

My wife caught me over 10 years ago - she found mywardrobe in the loft while I was at work and phoned me about it whilst I was in a meeting!

We talked a lot and since then Dottie is able to come out at home with her there.

It was probably the best thing that has ever happenned.

[Willie W]

My adult daughter and her 3 children have been living with my wife and I for the past year. I have been caught twice by her. Once I stepped out of the bedroom wearing a nightgown and she was standing at the other end of the hall. Then, last night, My wife and I were both dressed in matching outfits. Denim mini skirts, white lace bras showing through white tank tops, and gold high heeled sandals. My daughter came home early and caught us. She hasn't said anything about either incident. Fortunately, the kids haven't seen me dressed.

[Juanita]

The first time i was caught i was 10yrs old, my father said that i was sick in the head and that i needed help. The next time i was caught it was by my daughter and she asked why i was wearing a bra, she told the wife, Well that was a long time ago.

[Merinda]

This one has only just come back to me,

I was about Kindergarten age (4) , I recall having a supply of my mothers disgarded gear in a charity bag that was to be placed at the front gate for collection. The gear was in the backyard and I guess that my mother allowed me to play dressups because I have no recollection of her objecting , I recall wearing an apron where I was playing by myself on our driveway.
There were 6 foot wooden gates and fence hiding me from view of the side street , but I forgot about the small handhole for the padbolt catch.
I was happily doing my girly stuff when I noticed a pair of eyes looking at me through the handhole , this was followed by some childish giggling and chanting " sissy , sissy , sissy , sissy , sissy , sissy ".
It was a male friend of mine from down the street , he continued to call me a "sissy" for sometime afterwards.

[Frances Jewell]

I was caught while visiting my in law's senior citizen neighbor. It had become a habit, after she found out that I dressed, to visit her in the afternoon for a cup of coffee or tea and share "Girl Talk." Well one afternoon while visiting, I was wearing a dress, stockings, heels and earrings and having a cup of tea, I heard her downstairs door open. I asked if she had heard the noise and she replied no. Well, there was literally no were to run and hide, and it was just seconds as her brother walked up the stairs. Cookie came around the table and stood next to me as he came up to the landing. There I was quite a sight in a dress and heels, saying Hi its good to see you again (he'd seen me around the yard before doing yard work). He stayed a few minutes and left. Evidently, it didn't bother Cookie, because she has continued to ask me to come over dressed up, which by the way I have.

[Merinda]

Another one that I had since forgotten ,

Year 2000 , Month August
I had not yet come out to my family at that time , however my wife had known that I dressed as a schoolgirl once or twice some years earlier.
The house was cleared of all persons and I dressed in my Winter uniform with the tartan skirt , then nature called and I had to go to the toilet.
Just as I was about to exit the bathroom I heard a key go into the front doorlock , I paniced and I was about to remove my clothing but that would leave me naked which would also require explanation , but luck was on my side as the lock jammed , I could hear the rattling and swearing , it was my sister-in-law.
I decided to make a run for it to the bedroom , but unfortunatly she had her face up against the obscure glass plates next to the door , nothing was said at the time.

Some weeks later my sister-in-law made a remark about me owning a secret kilt , I had to chuckle , she had everything worked out so wrong.

My hair was long so that didn't matter
My skirt was mistaken for a kilt
Did she not see the black tights ????

[Erica S]

I am not dressing full ensamble yet but my wife caught me wearing a bra and got very upset with me. I am trying to figure out what to do now.

Erica

[Anne Bonny]

Sometimes you have to allow time for her to bring it up. If she is a tradtional woman it will be hard, there are a thousand things running through her mind. You can guess what they are but the most surprising is you kept this from her and you are "the other woman" infidelity. You have been cheating on her and you are the other woman - those are probably the largest issues, following close behind are what is wrong with you - are you gay? She will question your love for her, and be very upset about the danger you place the family in if you are discovered - she will wonder Do you go out like this? These are probably her largest issues. Will she leave you? How strong is your relationship - that bond is important. You are the same man she married and you love her and are not gay important messages to get across. Then you will have to let her set the limits and if that means you never do this when she is around this may be where you are for now. Time - several years may see this evolve in a positive direction - hundreds of small short reassurances, and statements spaced out over months with little or nothing between... This is all that I know. Good luck to you. Anne

[CynthiaD]

I got caught not too long ago by my youngest daughter who was a senior in High School at the time. I was wearing a bra under a black tee shirt. It wasn't noticable, but she came up to me and gave me a big hug, and I couldn't very well push her away or try to stop her. Of course she felt the bra and mentioned it to my wife who knows about my CD'ing. My wife told her "Yes, dad likes to wear women's clothes."

My daughter got very upset and would hardly speak to me or even look at me. So one morning shortly after this, I got up and cooked her a nice breakfast and sat down across from her. My own parents were extremely abusive both verbally and physically -- to the point where I would have been removed from the home if these things had happened today. (I grew up in the late 50's.) So I told her about one of the instances where I had been beaten severely for nothing at all and I said to her "But nothing like that ever happened to you did it?"

My father was an alcoholic and would sometimes come home drunk and get into screaming matches with my mother. I told my daughter about this and the effect it had on our home and then said "But nothing like that ever happened to you did it?" (I'm a recovered alcoholic myself, but I quit drinking long before she was born.)

And then I told her about my two of my younger brothers who got into a yelling fight when they were both in their late teens. One of my brothers yelled the F word at the other, and when my father heard this, he threw him out the front door with nothing but the clothes on his back and told him never to come back. (My father was one of the most foul-mouthed people I've ever known.) My brother was 19 at the time and lived on the streets for three or four months before finding a job and a place to live. I was in the army and couldn't come home to help him. I didn't even hear about it until it was all over with.

And again I said "But nothing like that ever happened to anyone in this family did it?"

I was crying openly at that point and I told her that the reason I never told her any of this before was that it was just too painful to talk about. I ended the conversation by saying "The reason I'm telling you this now is because I want you to know that there are more important things in life than underwear."

She's been ok since, although she still thinks the CD thing is weird.

Cynthia

[Absaroka]

Cynthia I couldn't agree more. I had some similar experiences as a child although not quite as violent. None of that's ever happened to my kids. But it's happened to some of their friends.

On the other hand I can't really pat myself on the back for just being a decent human being.


Ab

[CynthiaD]

The point wasn't to pat myself on the back. The point was to say that if you're an otherwise decent human being, you have a right to be judged on that, the content of your character, rather than being judged on your choice of clothing.

When you get caught unexpectedly it can cause pain for loved ones. It's easy to focus on that and feel ashamed. I share these feelings, but I also feel that it's important to ask your loved ones to judge you on the good things you've done. (And maybe a little bit on the bad things you've avoided doing.) Ultimately, that's more important than clothes.

Cynthia