Never thought it could happen to me.

Jennifer M · Post by **Jennifer M** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:21 am

Last year at this time I had hit bottom.I was as far down as I could possibly be just trying to keep myself alive from one day to the next.Now all of that has turned completely around. I am with PepperAnn who allows me to just be myself.I have been out(in daylight) shopping,out to dinner and to the movies all as Jennifer.I am amazed that there has been no comments and only one or two confused looks.My support group has grown and we have friends that allow me to be Jennifer when out with them.

I really dont want this to sound like I am bragging,I just feel so overwhelmed at the drastic(but good) change that has occurred so quickly.I was not remotely prepared for this.I was ready to live alone for ever and /or hide this part of me .I feel I have become the person I always knew I was but had to keep hidden.This has also had a good effect on my male self.I am happier ,healthier and finally I dont worry a lot about what other people think of me.

I find that I still need to take it easy,baby steps as Virginia says and I do pretty good.Some days my mind is just so full of thoughts that I find it hard to handle any extra information.This causes me to be edgy at times but I do my best and I try to explain it to PepperAnn the best I can.I havent been around much as I work out these feelings and it is comforting to know that I have this forum to return to. I have deleted my avatar and old photos as I feel they represented who I was and not who I am.As I get new photos I will post them along with a new avatar.

Thanks to everyone who has been here for me.You have made a major difference in my life.Though I have never met any of you in person I feel a very close connection with you.

Rikki · Post by **Rikki** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:52 am

Jenn,
I am so happy for you!! Your positive spirit is a joy to hear. What a great holiday gift for you and all your friends!!

Enjoy everything,
Rikki

Lucy Michelle · Post by **Lucy Michelle** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:08 am

Thats good news, happy holidays Jennifer x

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:24 pm

Sweetheart I am so happy as you now have someone who is willing to listen and try to understand.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:26 pm

That's wonderful, Jennifer.

Proof that things can get better if given the chance.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:33 pm

I am happy for your new outlook. Just shows that the future can be better .

CharLee · Post by **CharLee** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:26 pm

Glad to see you are over your " blue funk " and that you have found someone you loves and understands you and your needs. Now you can be your true self and be happy about it, no more guilt or shame or ideas to the extreme anymore.
Just enjoy your life and be all the woman you can be.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:43 pm

I'm glad to hear that things have improved. Thanks for posting this, it is important to let folks know that success is possible.

Zari

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:34 pm

Jennifer, I am so glad for your good news and wish you and PepperAnn a Merry Christmas and many Hapy New Years to come.

Leeza

April Rose · Post by **April Rose** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:29 pm

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:14 am

Thanks Jennifer,

This is a great post!!!!!

I just love hearing the "rags to riches" stories. I too had a similar experience, and I know many others have too. So those of you who are feeling down and think things can not get better? They can, and do get better. But only when we take steps to make things better.

Things can and do turn around and an unhappy life can turn into a happy and fulfilling life. Here it happened again and I am just thrilled for you.

Love always,
Elizabeth

MsJoann · Post by **MsJoann** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:37 pm

Wow! A Dream come true!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:39 pm

Can I cry, huh, can I cry?? Yes I can cry, tears of joy! What a great post and just in time for Christmas.

We are all soooooo happy for you, hon!!!! Just remember, don't rush it, take your time, and to paraphrase a passage from....." and Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart."

You need to daily tell PepperAnn how much she means to you and for that matter, how much she means to us!!!!!!!

Hope you two have a most Merry Christmas and continue to enjoy each other!

Love,

Virginia & SL

CathyD · Post by **CathyD** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:53 pm

ummmm,,,, Does PepperAnn have a sister???

congratulations! she sounds like keeper!

Bernice · Post by **Bernice** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:59 pm

Isn't it amazing when you find someone who can love you for who you really are, and not (or not just) for the location of any bulge(s) in your clothing?

Had you stopped looking? Do you think that may have had anything to do with it?

I'm very happy for you!

Hugs,

Bernice