Submissive/Dom Impulse?

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Tamroi
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Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Tamroi »

How well do you feel crossdressing correlates with submissive/dom impulse?
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KimberlyS
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by KimberlyS »

I personally do not thing cross dressing and being submissive are related. They are just two different traits people can have.dom impulse.

Just my two cents.
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I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
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Nicole
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Nicole »

Have to agree on that. It might be, but so can other hobbies become a part of a bdsm. SO I don't think it has a direct influence.
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Majella St. Gerard
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Majella St. Gerard »

i am sub and just happen to be a crossdresser.
Gina
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Gina »

I think there can be a correlation. The link for some: hide/avoid their dressing urges, so they are emotionally "off the hook" if forced to feminize. It is as old as the Grand Canyon....see decades of literature and fantasy. Not all respond. I understand the link though.
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Paula G
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Paula G »

For some there does seem to be a link, but this seems to equate being feminine with weakness and, dare I say it, a form of inferiority; for me I see women as strong, certainly Paula is a strong independent (while feminine) woman, no for me cross dressing has nothing to do with being submissive, or with dominating others, rather it is about empowering self.
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MichelleZ
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by MichelleZ »

It depends on my mood - somtimes I want to be dominant and sometimes I would enjoy a lady tying me to the bed with stockings and letting her have her way with me. ***()***
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Ralitsa »

I don't think there's much connection, in general. I am not really dominating, but neither do I wish to be dominated. Cding to me is fun because the clothes are pretty and feel nice. Of course I get a thrill when I look really good and know it. But I don't have any great desire to be a woman, and neither any objection if I had been born a woman.
The idea of being tied to the bed with nylons and ravished does have a certain attraction though..............
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Davita
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Davita »

The link would be if dressing is used to denote the power or submission. For example, the maid is looked upon as submissive. The leather corset as dom. So if clothes are used then, for that person, there is a connection. With that said, I suspect the dressing is involved because that person is a cross dresser -- admitted or not -- and so the connection.
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Ralitsa
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Ralitsa »

I agree with that aspect of it Davita.
I understood the question to be whether a crossdresser was more likely to seek a Sub/Dom relationship. And my guess is that there is no increased chance of that. I expect that the rate will be similar to the population as a whole. Judging from the postings here it doesn't sound like most of us are really into that. But that's far from being a scientific analysis.
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Paula G
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Paula G »

It seems that some like this sort of thing and others don't, I am reminded of the story a friend told me. A old girl friend of his was trying to get him to be more adventurous in their sex life, and kept saying him to "Tie me up and do what ever you want to", eventually he did, he tied her to the bed, and went for a pint and a curry with is mates.
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Elly (SO)
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Elly (SO) »

I gotta agree with most everyone.. I don't think it correlates. For me, submissive impulses stem from my control-freak part of me... I guess kinda natural I'd want something "out" of my usual comfort zone. My CDer does have both impulses but she is also in control of her work etc so I just figured the desires of sub. arose from the level of control we have over our lives which leads us to sometimes want the opposite?
Interesting thought... hmm! :)
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Anthony Simon
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Anthony Simon »

With me, the control impulse has to do with a sense of the world as chaos - and a desire to overcome that. I do have a fantasy of being a "wife", where basically the "man" deals with the outside world and I hide. I guess that would get rid of the chaos. It's a fantasy of submission to someone else, but it's not a CDing one - rather a TS one.

It does seem to rely on stereotypes of male and female behaviour - but, like Elly says, it seems to be about control. The control thing comes up in another way. Often when I dress up, it is a way of dealing with being wound up and stressed out to the extent where I feel I need to get myself under control.

The odd thing is that the woman that takes me over when I do this seems to be more sussed than I am - so that, quite often, whatever is really bugging me gets worked out while I'm dressed up. In a way, you could argue that that's the male bit of me allowing the female bit of me to take control - a submission of that sort.
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Wendae
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Wendae »

I'd love to play1
I believe I was a lesbian in my past life
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Submissive/Dom Impulse?

Post by Anne Bonny »

I believe I would enjoy submitting to my "husband" and letting them take the lead, wear the pants, make the decisions while I am free to let my "prince" take care of me and love me when I am in a feminine mood. Nothing to do with BDSM! Just slipping into the traditional role and women do this without even thinking about it not dominating their husband comes naturally without even thinking about it I believe for women at times, and I believe I would be able to slip into my "husbands" arms at times too and feel perfectly wonderful! Wouldn't it be wonderful to be admired, kissed, and yeald to their desire on occasion?? I think it would be just fine with me on occasion when my femininity is running strong within me. That being said I do not go into a falsetto, or become flamboyant - I am just who I always am, but my inner desire does change.
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