Is "passing" important to you?

[Robyn]

Is "passing" all that important? Males have certain distinguishable characteristics, and for the majority of us it doesn't matter how we do our makeup, hair, and dress, we can still be read by an an observant onlooker. Also, it's true that that a group of passable CDs will be recognized as men much easier than if you're out on your own or with one or more non CDs.

Personally I attempt to present as a woman in physical appearance including mannerism, but I do not disguise my voice. Essentially I like to be passable, but I certainly don't mind being read as a male.

[Noeleena]

Hi Kimberly.

I,ll take it as being more for those who dress. any way ,I know for some women ( natal ) its not so easy . Why , because of a more masculine facial features, and for one I know her voice was so low .

So the importance will be different for us . mind you as in my case and thiers we have our circle of friends who accept how we look and we don't have the issue of do we pass or blend in , being accepted for who we are is of more importance , more so when your incharge of difference aspects of what we do ,

How many do we know and are friends in our groups over 1500 people so does this help . I know it does .

I know for myself how I looked 57 years ago was one of do I belong am I accepted, I had very few friends that I had then and still are they helped me so much and how I looked was not an issue.

To day I have many friends and no matter where I go theres no issues . I doubt myself sometimes because I know im not that feminine in looks , and yes I wondered how I would get on , so I could have just done the not mix in and stay away from people and be a loner , yes I have done that ,

Yet because of detail and things that were in my favour and I was put in to situstions that allowed for myself to be able to talk to many people I learned to just do it, was I embarrised oh yes very much so and wondered can I do this, because I did not feel I was female enough to stand in front of both people I know and strangers never had any rejection , so to your ? would I pass no idear .....doubt it,
in my case not importaint ,

...noeleena...

[Kelly]

Is passing important to me? YES!!!

I don't, most of the time. But that doesn't bother me (that much) any how. That is part of the fun, part of the challenge, the goal. I try to understand why I didn't pass and then try to figure out what to do about it.

Kelly

[Martha G]

Most definitely!

I do make an attractive and passable woman.

My voice is somewhat light and high and many times have been mistaken as a woman on the phone or when someone is not looking directly at me.

I do practice my mannerisms to be feminine as a woman.

When I am dressed I become a woman mentally. When out of feminine attire, I go back to being fully male.

[DonnaT]

Not really, no.

[Davita]

It was important until I realized every time I was carded I wasted all my time proving I was a woman. I like to pass might be a better term and I think I do with strangers. It's kind of hard to say you pass at work when you came out to everyone and it's hard to pass when every sales girl in the area has seen both of you.

So it was important but now..... not so much. I want to be good enough no one is uncomfortable being with me in public.

[Robyn]

I want to be good enough no one is uncomfortable being with me in public.

That's an excellent point. I never really considered it in those terms, but I totally relate to it.

There are varied reasons why people cross-dress and who am I to judge, but I do want to be able to comfortably go about my business when I'm presenting myself as a lady in public. When someone takes an interest I'd hope it would be for genuine reasons.

[Requal Jo]

If Requal should ever muster the courage and confidence to go out I hope that I would "pass".

Although I have my doubts that I could.

[Virginia]

I saw in the news where another one of our sisters was murdered in Ft. Myers, Florida, murdered in a most grusome way! From the picture that was posted, yes, she would have passed. Is passing important, I think so. We, in general, seem to have a sense of presentation of how we should look "to pass." The one big difference is when a "gg" rolls out of bed in the morning and her feet hit the floor, she is a "gg." We, on the other hand have to work a bit harder to look like what we aspire to be.

That being said, I don't know how many of us go out with males in an attempt to "deceive" them, but in a lot of situations, it comes back to "bite us in the backside!" Please be careful out there. There are a lot of whack-o's still running around out there!

Virginia

[Paulette]

For me? No.

For some here, yes, of course. And it's important for everyone who has transitioned to full-time life as whomever they feel themselves to be, male, female, genderless, furry, lizard, lycanthrope, alien creature -- I've known people who've firmly had these exact beliefs about themselves. (And only one of them was a circus/side-show performer.)

As I've said before, I am who I've always been, regardless of dress or presentation. The labels are not me; the labels are what others supply.

Sometimes I like to look pretty. Sometimes to look handsome. I've achieved both to my own satisfaction. I don't need to fool, or be accepted by others, or to "pass." I also don't need to convince others that I'm intelligent, or accomplished. I'm satisfied to be who I am.

Would I like to be able to pass as a woman when I wanted to? Yes. Similarly I've wanted to be able to "be" a street performer, an impresario of cultural events, a publisher of significant diagnostic texts, a writer of interesting essays, a U.S. Marine, a principal organizer of mass political rallies, a child in the back of a classroom who didn't want to be noticed. A competent designer of business forms, a husband, a father, someone whom a robber or a pickpocket would not want to bother with. All of these things at various times. So, yes. I've wanted to "pass," and have at various time have "passed" as each of them. But I also "was" them.

Each role has been important to me at one time or another, and each for a different reason. The accumulation of them has made me confident in myself and my abilities, but (usually) not overconfident. I am also confident and at home with my limitations as I know them.

I am not a woman, but with the right accessories and in the care of a competent makeup artist, I can appear to be one to others, for a while. Eventually I'll speak or move in a way that shows I am not wholly what I appear to be, and I have no motivation to learn how to overcome that.

However, I can project a feeling into my own mind that is what I think a woman might feel herself to be like, even what I might feel like were I a woman. At times I have done this, and I assume that if maintained for any length of time, I might even feel alienated from my actual body, so much so that I'd want to change my body to conform to the image I have of myself. It would be a form of dysphoria, though probably not what others might describe as their own dysphoria. But even though that's me, I respect each of your own feelings about yourselves. It's taken me a long time to fully do so -- I've lost friends and alienated more than a few people in getting to where I am now.

I am not about to argue that my viewpoint is right or correct, or that yours is wrong. This is simply mine.

I don't know what it's like, really like, to be a woman. I don't think anyone does, including women! We, each of us, only know what it's like to be ourselves. We can imagine what it's like to be someone other than ourselves, but we can never know. We can study and try to project what we know and imagine to be true about another person, but we can never know. As a great British actress said when asked about her method of portraying a character, "I pretend."

So, sometimes, for a while, I pretend.

Yes, I'm familiar with brain studies, family histories, cultural roles, etc., and some combination of these things may apply to me. But I don't know, and I never expect to know, they are true. Like Popeye, "I yam whats I yam." And like Popeye, that's good enough for me.

[Robyn]

I don't know what it's like, really like, to be a woman. I don't think anyone does, including women! We, each of us, only know what it's like to be ourselves. We can imagine what it's like to be someone other than ourselves, but we can never know. We can study and try to project what we know and imagine to be true about another person, but we can never know.

Well said Paulette!

So assuming being a woman has to do with feelings and emotions only would be absolutely ludicrous. What makes a woman a woman, and a man a man has to do with a flurry of personal attributes and characteristics. But if I can get a sense of being a female in public by appearing as one then I have achieved my goal and reached a sense of fulfillment. It's all pretty simple for me; a part of me wants to be pretty and feminine, and another part of me needs to be rugged, thus I cross-dress.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

This from Paulette.

I dont know what it,s like really like to be a woman .... Myself .And i dont know what its like to be a male , you see the difference here you tell about your self and would i understand you know as well as i do , NO way how can i i was never born a compleat male or female , So ....

I can see what men do not think like them i can hear them yet do i really understand them ,Oh dear , what makes a male a man ,
The best i can do is say my inner most hard core being is female and i dont know any other way or think in another way .

Feelings . to feel like a woman body organs are different and feel different and along with that of cause is how we are wired = to be pregnent to have thoughts about ...oh dear putting it in words ...

I know what its like not being able to better , it consumes you it something deep with in thats just there and you cant just put it out of your mind like it means nothing , your whole body is geared for that moment to give birth to your own child , its like your brain is so wired its there though you cant see your brain working you just know it is and accept it with out ? .

Your own baby , Do men think like us do you have those same feelings that desire that over whellming drive ,
many men when i asked them they said no way ever , and our makeup is very different in so many ways ,

So can you know us proberly not or understand us so the best i can say is excepting us as we are , for who we are ,

...noeleena...

Sorry yes it effects me in not being able to have my ...OWN...child.

[Mattie]

For me it is not important to "pass". I am fortunate in that my skin and my build and my eyes have made it a bit easier when I dress. I have kept much of what I do in dressing very private. Lately I have found that I do dress more in a day than I do not. With that said, I decided to confide in an old male friend and show him. He told me I looked absolutely stunning. He asked me if he could ask my femme on a date. I said yes!!! So passing, to me, is more how I feel and less what others perceive. With all that said, I went on that date......I had an amazing time.

[Victoria P.]

Yes passing as a woman in public is rather important to me.I have accomplished this in the past when I was younger and much slimmer lol.

I also have feminine mannerisms even told I exhibit some in male mode to which I am often amazed.

I think perhaps the next subject may be 'How Feminine Are You'"?

Not to boast but I took a number of online tests and scored very high one being 97% /100.
I am not however a diva and have never been competitive in regards to this.
I welcome friends from all areas of the trans spectrum.

It was very gratifying and my aim even to this day is to 'blend in' and not make a scene.

Hugs Victoria P

xxoo

[Alexia]

No and maybe.

No, because I won't go outside while crossdressing, so no one will see how I look.
Possibly not ever, it has never been one of my goals and may never be, but we will see.
I might, just might, show myself this way to one or a few really close friends, or to a SO if there was one, if I decide that it is a significant enough part of me that I must confess this to the people closest to me because otherwise they don't understand a non-trivial part of my being.
But showing Joe or Jane Public?
I am already mostly too embarrassed to shop for even simple feminine items like hair clips unless it is somewhere no one knows me.
When I do anything like that I dread being asked piercing questions that I can't answer or not answer convincingly.
I am not even contemplating doing something like that and the few times that I went out wearing even an invisible piece of women's clothing were mostly for my own benefit, to retain a link with that other side of me perhaps?
Not for any kick regarding the chance of being spotted or whatever.
That would have been a nightmare come true.

Maybe, because it irks me that, no matter how carefully I choose my outfit and how good I think my body looks in it, enhanced by my el cheapo improvised fake boobs, it is all undone by my hairy legs, chesthair, lack of cleavage, my handsome but manly face, with facial hair that I can't seem to get under control as I have five of clock shadow as soon as I finish shaving.
That all so completely destroys even the semblance of any illusion.
Mostly I just look at my body from the neck down and then sometimes I think, wow, that looks so hot, I'd hit that.
Unless I am not wearing pants or my 60 or higher dernier pantyhose that hide my hairy unshaved ape legs and the illusion is again destroyed.

I've seen MTF crossdressers and transsexuals online that just take my breath away, that would totally pass as a female if they didn't show off what they have dangling between their legs.
I can be as jealous of them as I am of the most beautiful GG.
I fear, however, in part because I am not that young any more, that this will prove to be a pipe dream and that even the best cosmetic surgeons would be hard pressed to turn me into something resembling an attractive woman.
Not that I am considering surgery, but just to point out how big I think the gap is.
If society didn't frown upon it, I totally would get hormone treatment, even just enough to soften my face a little and get itty bitty titties.
Boobs rock, flaunt them if you've got them!
To wear even the smallest bra, for realsies, would be heaven as boobs are the most feminine garment in existence!

If I go any further, it will be at least initially to find out how I look if I really, really try.
I do ever so wish that I could make myself not just convincing, but beautiful, just for myself.
I currently plan on letting my hair grow long, because that at least is something I can do and I've always loved luscious, long hair, the longer the better.
The hair on top of my head, not the untamed masses elsewhere.
Even that may be a long shot though, between my receding hairline and my hair having its own ideas of where it wants to be at any given time.
Growing it will take a while and may draw some attention at work and from friends, but I will just have to deal with that as it comes and try to turn it into something that doesn't look too ridiculous in the mean time.
So far, just putting a hair clamp in, even though there is barely anything to clamp, just feels nice, yet another feminine touch. Yay!