What kind of man are you?

KarenW · Post by **KarenW** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:08 pm

Yup. You are the vibes you put out . We teach people and give them the permission on how to treat us.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:29 pm

Hi CJ,

I welcome this opportunity to share some more with you here. I guess one more place where you and I differ is that I do not focus on understanding others beyond a certain point. I just let them reveal themselves at their own chosen speed. I have a few basic principals that I look for in others in the beginning, and I pay close attention to them. Should a flag appear during that time, It sends a strong signal that says pay close attention to this Darlene, do not discount it.

I do not share the same need to contextualize someone's thinking. I used to spend a lot of time doing that so I can clearly understand where you are coming from there. And I do not have a need to pass judgment on you for this.

I suspect you will continue to struggle to understand where I am coming from, as a person. I am glad that I am a mystery to you; that is the way it should be. That adds credibility to one of my main resources that you have referred to as a factious man in the sky. My needs are no different than yours. I think the major difference between us is how we get those needs met.

You have a tremendous amount of understanding of many things. Quite frankly I am amazed at some of the things you have written. You have obviously dug very deep to find some of the things you understand. I don’t think anyone can fault you in that department. I think I probably have more respect for you than you realize. It is one of the reasons I have challenged some of what you write the way I do.

Another thing to consider is that when involved in helping people one can easily do more harm than good, hurting another by saying things that do not need to be said. That is another reason why there is only so much that I will reveal about the way I think. As I have said else where the more I can get myself out of the way the more chance I have of being effective.

Unfortunately as a result of one post that appeared on this forum some time ago (for a very short period of time) if we were to meet in private you would likely find me to be a very guarded person. I wish that were not so, and I am sorry about that, but those kind of things have their consequences.

I will do nothing intentionally to hurt the author (of that post) or make things any worse for her. That is part of my understanding of forgiveness. The other part is that in order for anything more to happen some thing needs to take place where by we can both be reasonably reassured that something like that will not reoccur. What I have seen from a lot of what that author has written lately it does seen to be of a higher caliber, But that post was so out of line with where I thought that person was at…at that time, that it sent a very strong signal.

I think I see that person attempting to reach out, and if that is the situation. I applaud those efforts, and I hope something will happen that will make the second part of forgiveness possible. But understand that what needs to happen will need to be new, the old is just not acceptable.

I do not have a need to meet privately (not that I would not enjoy it if I felt comfortable with it). What I am interested in is the best that is possible for you in your life. But keep in mind that (although I am more open in some areas of my life). (Re this forum) I am a very private person (who has enough friends of both sexes) and like it that way.

I appreciate your last post CJ. And thank you for it. I think dialog is still possible here. And I love you too.

Peace to you Sis.
I hope this helps.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:33 am

KarenW wrote:Yup. You are the vibes you put out . We teach people and give them the permission on how to treat us.

Those are probably the wisest words I have seen for a long time.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:03 am

In part Elizabeth wrote: Darlene was one of those people and I am proud to call her one of my friends. I love you sis.

Thanks Sis,

Know won’t you that you have become a cherished friend whom I too love.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sat Aug 27, 2005 3:23 am

Hi Elizabeth--
This is a great thread, and last night I did write some on it--then the power went out, and my reply went with it. Might not get around to that one again, so I wanted you to know that I felt that your opening post was very noble. I have tried to live up to many of those ideals, in my life as a man.

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:01 am

Hi all,

Darlene,

Although I'm not always 100% sure about what you refer to in your posts, I'm glad you think dialog is possible. That we're both members here, on this forum, shows that we have this in common, at any rate.

Love,
CJ

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:53 am

Hey CJ.

Aye aye Capitan.