Partner Dilemna - Do Anything You Want When I'm Not At Home

[BillieMar]

Hi Forum:

Ever so slowly over the past six months I've come to enjoy crossdressing progressing with my transition journey. Having only female shoes, blouses, shirts, pants/slacks, boots, accessories and undergarments to wear now, I'd quietly let go of EVERTHING masculine I owned, wore or possessed. I'd thought until today I was having a wonderful journey.

Having my girlfriend accompny me to three plastic surgeons over the past year to explore breast augmentation surgery, tummy tuck surgery, and facial surgery (to reconstruct, thin and shorten my nose), I'd imagined without hesistation my girlfriend wanted me to completely feminize myself. I therefore just kept following her lead but at the same time began excelerating what's become to me an obsession to look like, act like, walk like, talk like and look like a middle aged women.

Last week while she was out of town on business, on my own I'd gotten my hair cut then styled into a really short cute bob style, had the Dr. while in for a lazer treatment inject 3cc of collegen into both my lips, and had my hairdresser wax my eyebrows to make them really thin and quite feminine looking. Sinceshe's gone to Kansas for the week, I even purchased a new pants outfit with a coat to wear to thge movie we'd arranged to go see earlier today.

What I hadn't counted on last week was how convincing the hairstylist was in convincing me how cute I'd look dying my all white hair dark brown then having it streaking it with blonde along the part line. After he's finished I swear I look 15 years younger.

About three hours ago my girlfriend saw me standing in front of the threater waiting for her. Even having had my nails polished and wearing consertive (PINK no less) looking makeup I imagined myself to be very smart in appearance wearing the size 12 pant suite I'd purchased. I know she didn't think anythging like I did, she looked at me and walked away! Getting into her car, off she drove. I tryed calling her four times on her cell phone yet she didn't or won't answer.

I think my goose is cooked with her having again done things to my appearance without first consulting her which I know in my heart I should done. Is my goose cooked, am I now girlfriendless?

WOULD LOVE TO HEAR COMMENTS FROM FORUM READERS! Should I persue her or leave it go?

Lovingly

[Absaroka]

I have no idea what you should do with this. It sounds like she has been a real friend but maybe you crossed some sort of boundary. Maybe it was the demial of your age. Who knows? I suppose you could call her again in acouple of days. She sounds like a good friend. By now you two have been through a lot together.

Andrea

[DonnaT]

Geez Billie! What happened to "Little Steps?"

Seems you went too far too fast, and in public yet, without giving her the chance to ease into things in private first.

All I can suggest is, sending her a letter of apology (mail, not email) explaining everything. The whys, and how it makes you feel, and most important, explaining why you want her in your life.

Then leave it up to her to decide.

If you keep calling, then she may use it as leverage to get you to stop making changes. Seems to me you can't stop, and at some point, if you do stop, will again cross whatever boundaries may have been set. You've already indicated you hate having boundaries.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

What Donna said....

[Georgia(SO)]

A word from an SO. I'm with DonnaT. Your girlfriend came back from a trip and you look totally and completely different? New hair, new nails, new lips, new this and that.... Yep. That's just about guaranteed to go over with a major thud. This is not solely about your new look being female. It is about a total revamping of your physical presentation. It *is* unnerving, especially if the SO doesn't particularly care for the new presentation. My ex-husband left the house one morning with hair well down his back, came home with a buzz cut and I cried for 2 weeks. It was like my guy was totally gone and there was this other person there. Very, very unnerving. (Quite unnerving for him too, I know, but this is my telling of the story!) And I can promise you that if my current guy left for a week and came back to find I'd cut my long hair really short, dyed it away from its natural red, and done other drastic things, he would most definitely not be happy. I don't know that he would leave, but i promise, he would not be happy.

I don't know how you fix it. Try talking to her in a few days. Read over this thread and the things that you have said - not the rest of us, but you -- and see if anything hits you. I think you'll find that you took great big steps and that she didn't like where those steps landed you.

Wishing you luck on this one...
georgia(so)

[BillieMar]

Life goes on day by day and that's how I'm proceeding. I also believe life is a one way street that once has been traveled isn't comfortable traveling back down again. The street once traveled isn't the same, and that's where I am right now! What I thought was an obsession actually wasn't, it was my transitioning to a new lifestyle which increasingly is bringing me a more fulfilling happier lifestyle. At age 60+ I'm experiencing daily events that are fun, enjoyable and have made an otherwise boring mondain lifestyle as a man extremely interesting now that I present as a female!

Dressing and making myself (primping as they call it) into a mature well groomed women, I have the thin long shaped eyebrows, permanent upper and lower eyelid, eyebrow and lip makeup with a very cute feminine haircut that makes me quite attractive. I've learned that being well groomed and having all the assets that make a women feminine whjich includes colegen filled lips, pierced ears a very sufficient closet full of tailored well fitting women dresses, slacks and jeans plus very attractive eye catching shoes, boots and sandals makes me standout as a prominent person. Cloths and presentaion definitely make the person and now with all my men's cloths and accessories having been donated to goodwill, I'm unhappy having lost my girlfriend but very comfortable being, behaving, imaging and presenting myself as a women everyday.

I want to also share with everyone that I joined this city's transgendered community and although I'm finding the atmosphere quite different from what I've been acustomed to, I'm beginning to meet men and women of my own age having the same kinds of transgender issues, peace and happieness choices of lifestyle that I'm enjoying. I'm hopeful in time my soulmate will return to my side, but if not I'll continue my path in life taking things one day at a time. One more though, perhaps if I have my name legally changed to a female name abling me to obtain a drivers license, it'll help complete the transition?

What does the forum that's reading this think about how I'm going forward? In conclusion, life is great, and what one makes of it. That's how I feel, and even being alone without a mate I'm not lonely anymore.
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ME