Where are we?

[Alana]

I've heard that about 2 to 5% of adult heterosexual males are CD. If that is true, in my neck of the woods, there ought to be about 500 to 1,250 MTF CDs. (That's based on a presumption that about a quarter of the 100,000 residents in the valley are adult heterosexual males).

I know of about three or four possible other CDs in the area based on observations and statements made by family and friends. One or two of those are gay and dress; the others have either dressed en femme for Halloween at least once or been dressed by some of their classmates in fun as adolescents. Whether or not the latter are actually CD is still a question.

What is interesting is that given the potential numbers of CDs, where are we? We definitely aren't very visible in this area. I'm guessing that a lot of us are still in the closet for whatever reason. I was amazed with this forum, but even it has a very low participation in terms of the total numbers of us out there.

I visited a local support group's headquarters (Western Equality) to see what help and support they might be able to provide me. They supposedly are a support group for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community. However, they had no books on crossdressing in their small library; most of their books were related to the g/l/b crowd. With 500 to 1250 possible CDs in the area, you'd think that there would be a better potential for a local suport group.

I know I have a concern with full disclosure of my CDg. Am afraid of what repercussions there might be in business, family and community relations. I have gradually outed myself to certain close friends and family, but don't know how far I'm willing to expose my femme self to the world. Definately am not ready to shout it from the mountain tops. Anonymity has its values. Perhaps I'll get more involved with Western Equality, especially in the background.

Love,

Alana

[DonnaT]

Yes, many are still in the closet. And I imagine quite a few they are happy there, thus find no reason to venture out to places such as TG support groups. Those that aren't happy or out are probably to scared or ashamed to venture out of the closet. Scared, for example, that their SO's may find out.

And you'll notice in these forums that a number who join are surprised the forums exist. Yet there are at least 10 forums that I am aware of some of which have several thousand members, though very few are active posters.

[Virginia]

Alana,
think you answered your own question in your last paragraph. The GLBT community in some places around the country still harbor dislike for us. We get asked things like where were you when we were marching in the streets for out rights and getting hit and stoned and yelled at and fired from our jobs etc. And fortunately or unfortunately they are right. We are, shall I say, "unique" in the scope of things. The only thing I can offer is that the web is full of resources, if you seek medical or psychological support that addresses the fact that "no we are not crazy." but as for "outting" ourself. It takes a strong person - a couple of our members comes to mind and I think you know of whom I speak. We all handle our "gift" a bit differently. Me, right now I am content to push the envelop by everyday, a bit of masara, neutral eye shadow, neutral lipstick, clear gloss nail polish and painted toe nails and perfume and girl jeans and just a bit androgenous. My dressing is to visit friends or attend meetings like this weekend in Richmond at the TG Pride Week-end.
Just take your time, enjoy yourself and if you become an "in your face" T-Girl so be it, if not find your comfort level and just have fun!!
Love ya,
Virginia

[Absaroka]

Guesses range widely about how many of us there are and no one really knows. Someday someone will do a Kinsey like study but till then it remains unknown.

On to the next problem which is how is a CD defined. The way things are worded CD can be taken to mean the guy who occaisionally dresses up on Halloween to the guy who wears his wifes panties occaisionally during sex to a pre op trans sexual.

My guess is that there are an awful lot of guys out there who might have a bit of a fascination with lingerie and try it on once in a while but have no desire to go out dressed or anything like that. I also suspect that a great many of us do this as a strictly sexual thing. Those people are not posting here and not discussing gender issues. They are having sex alone with someones underwear and leaving it at that. The kind of people that many of us would like to pretend we are not here at this forum. But I have to aknowledge that this is a component of my CDing. It is a part that exists independently of my interest in gender which is another reason I like this forum. It all gets very complicated very fast........

I remember visiting a BDSM forum once. The point was made that in the experience of the women there that most men kind of like to be made to wear panties once in a while once they are persuaded to try it. Of course there is a selection process going on there in that who are the men attracted to these particular women. But that is a whole different thing from what is getting discussed here.

Statistical sampling is a really hard thing to do properly without a lot of rigorous effort to avoid the selection process. Case in point. The average IQ of people in jail is less than the average IQ of the general population. There is also a tendency towards being less physically attractive. Does this mean less intelligent and unattractive people are more likely to become criminals or that only less intelligent and unattractive criminals get sent to jail. Or does being in jail eventually make you appear less attractive and do more poorly on IQ tests?

So a better question is who are we before we get to how many of us are there and on to where are we.

Great topic

Absaroka

[Jeannie]

People like us have to be very cautious and private. I think it is impossible to find out what percent of the population we are because we always stay so hidden.
I agree with Absoraka. I believe almost all men love the feel and look of lingerie. I bet most men have tried them on but would not admit it. Who wants to wear tighty whiteys anyway? Not me!
We are in a very unique class of our own. Not many other groups out there warm up to us. I can understand that. We are a very viscious bunch of evil people! OH NO! I just broke a nail! Love you ladies. We're all ok. I don't care what they say about us! Hugs!


Love
Jeannie

PS. Virginia. You have been a bad influence on little Jeannie. Cautious and private are not in her vocabulary anymore. If I get beat up it's all your fault Hun! Don't worry though. I'm a trained killer. I was in The Coast Guard Reserves! Scary Huh? Shallow water sailors! I loved those button front pants and jumper with black scarf rolled for the tie. I got written up once at a reserve meeting in Boston Virginia for being out of uniform. I wore a cream colored shell under the jumper instead of a white Tshirt! Hey ladies! What can I say! It matched alot better! I think the color wasn't the real issue. It was the lace!:lol:

[Merinda]

Yes, many are still in the closet. And I imagine quite a few they are happy there, thus find no reason to venture out to places such as TG support groups. Those that aren't happy or out are probably to scared or ashamed to venture out of the closet. Scared, for example, that their SO's may find out.

There are also those in denial , when I was in my 20's I would purchase and wear an item and then purge it straight away because I'm just playing around , I'm not like that at all! YEAH RIGHT !

I'm sure there are also those out there who have strong willpower and potentially CD but have the ability to resist , but in my experience once you CD more than once your resistance grows weaker with every repeat.

[Dixie Darling]

Until the time comes when it's acceptable or possibly even 'the trend' to be a crossdresser, we will never have any accurate figures as to how many of us there REALLY are. As otheres have pointed out in their replies, we are a group of individuals unique unto ourselves. The gay population doesn't (in GENERAL) take a liking to us, transsexuals don't really understand us since we like to DRESS as women but don't actually want to BE one, and the population in general almost automatically associates or groups us together with the gay crowd. Thus we, as herterosexual crossdressers, are a truly unique group which is usually totally misunderstood due to the lack of factual information about what a crossdresser actually is.

As others have stated in this thread, the actual percentage of crossdressers may never be known simply because it is a trait or activity that is frowned upon by a woefully uninformed society which apparently doesn't want to know or discover that we're all pretty much the normal "guy next door". Facing the very real possibility of ridicule, possible divorce, scorn, being fired, being belittled, etc. if we were discovered and outed to family/friends/employers are sufficient reasons that most crossdressers are closeted and have chosen to remain that way for their (and their family's) security. I have a hunch that the total number might be surprising if we knew for sure just how many of us there really are.

Dixie Darling (senorita_cd)

[JeffCooks]

i like to crossdress but have no desire to pass nor could i pass if i wanted to, i like the clothes and the way they make me feel. and the the way they feel. i do post here every now and then.

[JeffCooks]

also i am not gay and have no desire to be with other men dressed or not, i am happily married of 33 yrs. wife knows i wear some pretty frilly panties but doesn't know that i like to wear more.

[Becky]

theres no cd community per se where I live; so have to be relatively careful as to to the whens and wheres of dressing. met a lot of great people here, which has been a big help