man enough

[Ralitsa]

Andrea,
your confusion about what it means to be man enough, and how or why it should apply to you is exactly the point. What does "man enough" even mean? Who get's to decide, and who decided that they get to decide? These are the questions. Probably many of us have answered them to our own satisfaction, if not the satisfaction of those around us who claim to have some claim on us.

[Andrea Elise]

Ralitsa, thanks for explaining.

I resent and reject that narrow mind set, even though it is pushed at me every day. "You look like this, so you must be that"

I am not competitive, I don't care about sports or a lot of other things that I am 'expected' to be concerned about, because I am a male. In fact, all the things that I do care about, don't fit with what the world sees.

I am not saying that women are not interested in competitive things. That is just me, who I am. But, for some reason, I am 'expected' to.

There are odd exceptions and that is why I don't feel that I am either one or the other sex. Androgynous does not fit. Nothing fits. However, feminine over rides, no one can accept me for who I am.

Except, here, on this forum.

I have come to the the thought that people who believe that they occupy some Moral High Ground feel superior. Me, I think they are standing in the mud.

Andrea

[Anthony Simon]

I don't feel that I am either one or the other sex. Androgynous does not fit. Nothing fits. However, feminine over rides, no one can accept me for who I am.

Except, here, on this forum.
Andrea

Maybe if you don't fit that's because there isn't a category out there that's suitable for you. So think one up. Might even be helpful to others.

[Andrea Elise]

Anthony Simon,

When I was coming to terms with who I am, I was desperate to hang a label on me, wanting to belong, to fit, to identify with some group of peers. I never found that label. That perfect little label.

Categories and labels don't mean much to me. Again, that's me and it has taken some serious and deep thought for me to reach this point.

Others seem to insist on labeling and categorization. An example is my wife. When I came out to her, one of the first things she wanted to do was find a label as to what I was, lesbian, gay, etc.

I have come to think of it as a third sex, a very broad definition. I'm sure that I can not claim any originality in this definition. But, it suits me fine and I am comfortable with it. It more distills to humanity. In that respect, I am not man enough, nor am I woman enough. I do feel that I am very much human enough.

I am in an undiscovered country, a twilight zone . I am happy with that. Twilight is my most favorite time of the day!

The biggest thing is that it has kept me from destroying myself. Like so many of us, I suffer from depression. I feel trapped in my own body.

I am what I am and try as I might, I remain so. Finally, there is happiness in that. Why? Because it is just fine to be who I am. I stopped judging myself by the criteria of those people who can not, will not and are not able, to figure out who, or what, I (we) am (are).

Fine, I am green, have two little antennae sprouting from my head and I wear a space helmet. I have always felt that I am not from this planet.

Andrea Elise

[Anthony Simon]

That was a nice post Andrea. I do kind of see where you're coming from and why the whole sort of demand that one should "be a man" should seem strangely irrelevant to you.

[Absaroka]

But are they male or female antenna? Are you a masculine green or a feminine heather? Is it a stylish womans space helmet, a utiltarian hard hat space helmet, or the space helmet version of a doo rag?

[Andrea Elise]

That be a man thing is so annoying! It is a construct of impossible idealism that is so often thrown at one to indicate a lack of manliness, to make one feel lessened and defensive.

As Ralitsa questioned, who gets to ask? By what criteria? Mostly, who was it that bestowed upon them the authority to even pose the query?

Are you man enough? If I were a normal person, I would be man enough.

I feel normal. When I look in the mirror, I look normal. What am I supposed to be? John Wayne? Sylvester Stallone? Jason Statham?

If that is the case, I punch you out and move on, revelling in my manliness. Sorry, I can not be that, or do that.

The entirety of male bravado, macho huffing and puffing up ones chest just makes me ill.

I do admire capable men. I also admire capable women. What I do not admire are those who use psycho babble in an attempt to cause people feel poorly about themselves, to lessen their self worth and image.

I remain an effeminate, heather green space person, with fern like antennae, gazing out at the world from the inside of my clear fish bowl space helmet with utter confusion, wondering where I can find a nice cold glass of diesel fuel, as I am soooo thirsty!

Andrea

[Anne Bonny]

I would say crossdressers have a firm grasp of their sexuality and their manhood - We are not insecure about things that may cause noncrossdressing macho men to squirm. Especially crossdressers who have found self acceptance. We can be called homosexual, and sissy - we know we are not and may take sissy as a complement or simply don't care. Even if we keep these things secret, we are not bothered by labels, but we may be upset at the loss of friends, our job, family, etc. We know who we are so name calling has no effect.