Oh the joys of house hunting....NOT.

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Wed May 18, 2011 3:47 am

I'm a little surprised to hear about a lack of good manners in America. I had always been under the impression that in the "land of the free" it was important that all men were equal, and therefore warranted consideration as such. Further I had thought that the "Country Club Set" aspired to being Gentlemen, something that is difficult to explain but easy to spot.

My understanding is that it is, and always has been a mark of a gentleman, it is always good manners and therefore good practise to thank anyone who does something for you. Having been both sides of the service relationship I can assure you all that good manners, being well treated and friendly counts for a lot more than tips.

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed May 18, 2011 7:57 am

I reckon most people are polite to the help, but there are a few pockets that think they are way above others.

I sure wouldn't want to piss the help off and have them put something in my food.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Wed May 18, 2011 9:03 am

Paula and Donna, your posts reminded me of a story one of my step aunts told.

She had health problems and would often go to a hot springs resort. The hot mineral water gave her some relief She had been there often enough to know a lot of the regulars.

On this particular trip she was in the restaurant eating breakfast when a banker and his wife from a small town in Kansas came in. They were dressed in such a manner that you knew they thought they were someone special.

The waiter that was seating the guests told them that they would have to wait as all the tables were full. A couple dressed in ordinary clothes offered to make room for them at their table. The banker and his wife declined .and you could tell by their expression that they didn't want to sit with someone who they thought were of lesser importance than they thought they were.

The couple who had offered to share the table could have bought and sold the Kansas banker's bank with pocket change and not missed it.

Donna wrote

I sure wouldn't want to piss the help off and have them put something in my food.

Years ago I was working as a baker in a truck stop. The prep cook and I were talking about some of the things we had seen happen in the kitchen.

She was working in Las Vegas as a cook when this large party came in and ordered. The person who was paying for the meal had sent his steak back several times as not being right and the cooks were wondering what to do to make it right when the chief came over and asked what the problem was.

After they told him he said give it to me. He threw it on the floor, unzipped his pants and gave it some flavoring not associated with food, put it on the grill and sent it out compliments of the chief. The guy ate it.

Leeza

Cindy Louise · Post by **Cindy Louise** » Tue May 24, 2011 5:46 am

Hi Paula G, The country club sect is only polite to those it considers worthy. For worthy read "could improve MY standing to be associated with them". Anything else is deemed boot scrapings. They are so false! polite to your face while getting the knife lined up with you back. Beside they all hate me as I'm not from money, a doctor, CEO, lawyer etc just good working stock.

On our fifth wedding anniversary Debbi told me that she had really ticked her family off because she married for love not social standing.

Anyway back on track. We looked at an older house (about turn of the century) with buckets and buckets of charm I'm talking carved door frames and windows with folding shutters on the inside, beautiful carved handrail on the stairs wood paneling in the library a kitchen to die for with a huge walkin pantry that has marble shelves!!. And it's in our range BUT, yeah but, there's no AC in the house and with Raleigh summers I need my AC plus the roof needs some attention.

It's going to take some serious self control not to go into debt for this baby.

Anyway thanks for listening and being there.
Love you all,
CL

PS Does it sound weird that I'm the one raving about the kitchen?????? and not my wife.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Tue May 24, 2011 9:22 am

Cindy said

It's going to take some serious self control not to go into debt for this baby.

I can understand your deliema on this house. I love the charm that can be found on some of the older houses.

Does it sound weird that I'm the one raving about the kitchen?????? and not my wife

not realy. I think in this forum that might happen quite often.

Leeza

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue May 24, 2011 3:06 pm

Sounds nice Cindy.

How's the foundation? Any sign of those pesky termites known to be around the area?

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Wed May 25, 2011 8:04 am

Sounds nice Cindy. Maybe have an HVAC guy look at it prior to purchanse and see how practical and costly central air is? Worst case you can stick wall units in.

Paula, American is a big place and what is considered polite by one group of people may be considered rude by others. New York is a famous if stereotyped example. Very pleasant and nice people who come across as very rude to others but don't mean to be.

The snotty country club is another stereotype. There are a bunch of people like that, usually what's called nouveau rich who aren't comfortable with their new status although they think they are. Also there is just a lot of fear and folks often use the " the best defense is a good offense" policy when no defense is really needed-you often see this when folks from different ethnic groups interact.

Zari

Cindy Louise · Post by **Cindy Louise** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:31 am

We went back for a second look at the old house yesterday and it has forced air heat so it might be possible to tie in an AC unit to the existing ductwork, anyway thats what HVAC guys are for

With 90+ weather and no AC I'd go crazy...or melt one of the two.

I slipped away from Debbi and the Realtor down to the basement and had a poke around for obvious signs of termites but I'm far from an expert on the wood munching little buggers that's why if we go ahead we'll have a full bug inspection done.

Oh almost forgot, the seller is willing to either take off the cost of the roof repairs or have it done themselves.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Jun 09, 2011 6:31 am

Usually you can tie in AC to forced air heating. However the registers are often in not quite the right place and the duct sizes aren't always correct, so you can get AC that is not entirely efficient. It might be wise to have an HVAC guy look at it first, although it's probably okay.

Zari

Laura Ashcroft · Post by **Laura Ashcroft** » Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:19 am

I moved from the S.F-bay\area to Montana. I live not entirely in any town, but in between towns. I live on well water and a septic tank...no solar panels yet. I was married...got left for my dressing and "sexually sickening her". I have 3 kids with her. 2 of them chose to stay in CA, one came to live with me. As far as I know none of them know about me. That being said...I have neighbors too close for me to go outside. I have to pull my blinds if I want to dress in the house and I have to wait for my daughter to be gone for a while to do that. The closest town is 1.5 miles away, and EVERYBODY knows EVERYTHING. I have no idea who in town knows about me and who doesn't...I don't care really. I live on the side of a mountain with a beautiful view of a lake. I'm a weird crossdresser. I'm a conservative, and I know from reading all your posts here over the years, most of you aren't and you detest me as well. It's ok. As a conservative guy...I fit in well here in MT...as a crossdresser...um no, yet in the SF\bay-area I hated it and the people there. I would have died if I didn't move. Seriously. I'm better off now, yet not. I don't see a solution. I hope to own a house on 10 acres someday where I can do whatever the hell I want.....yet I want someone to share it with. Not sure that will happen

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:59 am

Hi Laura,

You are completely wrong when you say we "detest" you. Once you enter here, you are part of a family. We have one thing in common - we are all somewhere along the broad spectrum of crossdressing/transsexualism. We range from guys who just like to wear lingerie under their jeans to full time transsexuals. Politically and religiously we are all over the map. Within the bounds of courtesy and decency, we express ourselves freely and frankly - as you did in your post. We post messages about ourselves and our problems with the hope that our attitudes and solutions can be of help to others.

Actually, many of us here have the same worries that you have - fear of discovery, marital difficulties, etc. In my own case, I lived through many years of guilt, shame, and self-hate, until I found this site and have been able to achieve an understanding of myself.

Please believe me - you are welcome to join us in our journey.

Hugs,

Lydia

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:09 am

Laura Ashcroft wrote:I moved from the S.F-bay\area to Montana. I live not entirely in any town, but in between towns....

...I live on the side of a mountain with a beautiful view of a lake.

... I'm a weird crossdresser. I'm a conservative, and I know from reading all your posts here over the years, most of you aren't and you detest me as well. It's ok. As a conservative guy...I fit in well here in MT...as a crossdresser...um no, yet in the SF\bay-area I hated it and the people there. I would have died if I didn't move. Seriously. I'm better off now, yet not. I don't see a solution.

I don't know if you meant this post to be poetry, but I think it is. "I live...in between towns", that's the theme of it, pretty much - stated at the beginning, then returned to at the end "I'm better off now, yet not." The thing about you being a conservative yet a crossdresser fits into that.

Like the conservatives would hate you (as your wife did) if they knew about your CDing, but (you reckon) people here (and by extension the rest of the CDing world) despise you because you're a conservative. Actually I rather admire you because you're attempting to deal with an extremely tough and conflicted life with lots of stuff from your marriage and previous relationships which must be hard to bear - All related to your CDing.

Whatever your politics are, for me they pale into insignificance beside what you've written here about the way your life has gone. Also, as CDers, we all live in between towns one way or another. So, in one way, the theme of your post (IMHO), you're in the same place as the rest of us here.

Ralitsa · Post by **Ralitsa** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 2:57 pm

it's of course a well accepted stereotype that small town conservatives could never accept a crossdresser, but in fact I find that to be incorrect. I live in a very small town (actually not in town) in the woods of northern Wisconsin which typifies everything that everyone would expect. And yet I think everyone accepts it pretty well. I consider myself to be pretty conservative about most things, and of course I'm a crossdresser too, so I doubt that one can really make any generalizations about it.

Cindy Louise · Post by **Cindy Louise** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:38 am

I'm not going to waste space repeating what Laura said I think she said it perfectly. We are an extended family I certainly don't detest anyone here.

Err.... what do you mean by "conservative" being a Brit over here words can have different meanings. After ten years I still confuse my wife occasionally.

A house on 10 acres is my idea of heaven....well I can dream can't I.

Love,
Cindy.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:53 pm

Cindy, some very loose difinitions of conservative follows.

I have a son the says liberals talk about it conseratives get things done.

Liberals think that it requires government to do things while the conseratives think things can be accomplished without government interference.

Many of us may be considered liberal on some issues while being conserative on many other things.

I hope I haven't confused you more and there are probably others that will disagree with me, but that is ok.

Leeza