Deciding my new name

[Sarah Ann]

OMG, Tina that's priceless! Your wife sounds cool. Mine was simple to decide, it's the family curse I would have had, we're all Sarah something.

[Phil]

Hi Justine

If you are sticking with JW, then I have always liked Jessica. Can be made into a pet name of Jess or even Jessie too. Jennifer has similar adaptions - Jennie, Jenny, Jen.

W is more difficult - Wendy is one of my faves, due to the magic of Peter Pan no doubt

Good luck!

[Paulette]

I'm not attached to my name, any of them. So my femme name has no special appeal or tingle for me. At another time, sure. When I was in my teens and twenties just the idea of putting a name to my female self and being that person, would have had me rushing to my stash of clothes and stroking myself into a frenzy. Pink fog, indeed!

Now I feel mostly indifference. Having a stable and accepting wife and family, and places like this forum (and MHB) have made an incredible difference. Not being subject to the pressures of an outside job also helps. I could go romping down the street wearing almost anything I pleased and not get a second look, here in the SF Bay Area. But though I do still underdress, I have no longer have the need to risk "getting caught" that obsessed me many years ago.

Unless you are actually exposing yourself, people may stare, but you probably won't get arrested, so the risk is only to your reputation. In many places that's a real risk: job, community standing, police record, physical threats or harm from those who feel threatened by the fact of your existence, etc.

In a few months I'll be moving my family to such a place, so it will be a big change for me. We'll see.

[Phil]

Hi Paulette
It's great that you are so comfortable with who you are.
Having the security of loved ones that love you for who you are is fantastic.
SF Bay area must be a liberating place to live. For us in the UK there is no real equivalent ... Brighton maybe

I imagine naming may help with those folk who have a very clearly different outlook, persona and take on life when en femme. It may help focus thoughts: "How would Jessica react to this?" etc

Just a thought

[Amanda M]

I fooled around with Monique for a bit many years ago, then I looked in the mirror. I was not quite a Monique at all. Now, I'm just Fiona. Feels good, fits my persona.

And that is what I think it is about. Dou you feel that you are that person? If so -great.

[Paulette]

Hi Paulette
It's great that you are so comfortable with who you are.
Having the security of loved ones that love you for who you are is fantastic.
SF Bay area must be a liberating place to live. For us in the UK there is no real equivalent ... Brighton maybe

Hi Phil,
Yes, it's great! That doesn't make things perfect, but it sure as hell helps.

SF is a fine place, but only if you can afford it. I love the city and enjoy the tiny communities in each valley of it, and have even come to accept the massive triumphalism of the buildings in Silicon Valley.

At the same time I have absolutely no interest in joining the parades or becoming one of the tourist attractions. Fun to watch, though. I don't go out enfemme, so there's no temptation there either. I have to say though that if I did so I'd probably feel less out of place than if I were in drab in Dijon or even Toronto - and not being able to speak or understand a word of French.

[Paula G]

Brighton is very liberal, but having said that where ever I have been I have been treated with respect and consideration. Admittedly I have tended to avoid the more "Urban" areas of London, and woudl not necessarily chose to go to Croydon town centre on a Saturday night, but mostly I think that Europe and the UK are pretty cool with allowing people freedom as long as it does not detract from that of others.

[MichaelaR]

Interesting question. It seems like this would be more important for someone looking to transition completely, or at least spend a good amount of time out and about en femme. Maybe it's just me, but I don't really have the desire to go the whole nine yards (hair, make-up, boobs, etc.), at least not yet. I would love to be able to go out dressed without having to present as completely female. I don't feel like I have a female persona and a male persona, it's all just me.

That said, I chose my fem name based on my real name so I would fit in, but not get confused.