Passing vs. Looking Good

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:50 pm

I have to say passing because if I pass then I must look good - in my mind. Remember what happened to me? I went of a walk one evening in a near by park. A GG and two guys, all. probably in their early 20' were coming toward me on the path, from about 20 yards away, the girl said, "That's a guy!" one of the guys said, "No way!" As we passed on the path, I just looked at them and smiled. I heard one of the guys say after we passed, "if that's a guy, I'd do HER!" Did I pass?? Who cares, what a compliment, almost as good as being called a "slut" in the movie theater by some GG in her late 40's.
Keep the faith girls!!!
Love,
Virginia

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 1:06 am

Well, I'd rather pass but that just may never be possible without taking more drastic steps than I am up to. If I can't pass I would at least like to look good.

Eloise Goth · Post by **Eloise Goth** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 4:39 am

feeling good is more important to me than passing or looking good.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 8:20 pm

Hi Lorna,

I chose other. Looking good or passing are of little concern to me. Don't get me wrong, I like putting my makeup on so I look nice. I like picking nice clothes that fit me. I mean, I wanna look good. But that is not why I dress. I don't have a bra, I don't wear breast forms. I don't wear a wig except to take pictures.

I dress only because it makes me feel great. My motives are totally selfish. If society can only accept me if they think I am a girl? To me that is not acceptance. If Society can only accept me if I am dressed to the nines? That is also not acceptance to me. Sometimes I wear capri pants, sandals, and no makeup. Just like real women.

I just don't want to waste any more of my life worrying about what others think. In my opinion, passing or looking good are giving others control over my life. I have done enough of that

I don't knock anyone who has those feelings though, because I think mostly I just don't have those feelings. I am sure there are those who wonder how I could possibly not care? We just feel differently.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 8:53 pm

Hi girls. Great answers!!

But I feel that I may have left out something important when first posting this poll. I should have better clarified earlier on that you can feel free to follow your own definition of “looking good”. In other words, you look good in your own minds eye, you look good to suit your personal mood, and not necessarily based on other people’s definitions of what constitutes “looking good”.

To some of us in the community, looking good and passing are one in the same. But for others, they are two completely different things. For me it’s the latter. I feel that one can still pass for a woman, yet be dressed in dirty sweats. Meanwhile you can have a 6’ 6” CD built like an NFL linebacker, hands the size of a bunch of bananas, tastefully dressed in a pretty business suit, wig styled, and nails manicured. Or better yet she is dressed according to her personal mood. Will she pass? Highly unlikely. But does she look good? If her mind eye says yes, then you bet your boody she does.

Hence I answered “looking good” because:

a) I am perfectly content with dressing to the point where I feel that I look good to myself and myself ONLY, and to heck with other folks say. I will let my mood & aura take care of the rest. And like many of you I have long since grown tired of trying to win other people’s approval. If “approval” was all that I wanted in this life I would not be publicly CDing at all.

b) It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to pass anyway, given the fact that I am growing older (heck, we all are) and have put on a little weight this year. (Hence my diet)

Than again, I guess maybe I’m a little biased because I live in NY and am used to the mentality of “oh well, there goes another CD, no big deal”. I know that attitudes may not be so open in other parts of the world such as a small town. I do get a small taste of more conservative attitudes out here on Long Island, but I always have the option of jumping on a train into the city which is only 35 minutes away.

And for each and every one of you who live in rural areas, yet STILL go out and do your thing, I applaud each and every one of you. You all have my utmost admiration and respect.

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:08 pm

I chose looking good, because I like the sexy look, not just passing. I figure if I looked "good" I would pass. Kinda opposite what Virginia said.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Sep 23, 2004 9:03 pm

Interesting in how we all approach going out! I am not the least bit concerned about being "outted" because no one would dare get physical with me and beyond that what is the worse that could happen?? I think that whether or not you want to pass or look good or just dress and go out with an "in your face" attitude we are crossdressers and this is what we do!!! A positive attitude and a nice smile will go a long way toward just getting respect from those we come in contact with. So keep the faith, smile and remember your are an ambassador for your sisters here!
Love you all!
Virginia

Hayley · Post by **Hayley** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 4:27 am

Passing V Looking Good.

I chose looking good, but not in the model sense. I chose it based on how I feel when dressed. If I think I look good as a guy dressed as a woman, then that is all that counts to me. If I get read, well at least they will know the truth and that I really couldn't care at what they think anyway. Yes it is nice to pass from time to time, but I just dress to look my best and that is all that matters to me. Should someone find me attractive or passable as is then that is their choice (and a wonderful feeling for me may I add), if they don't at least they will have met someone who is proud of themselves and honest to be who they really are.

Considering I don't get out much lately, I still enjoy trying to get as close to passing as I possibly can, however I feel success is not based on looks, but more importantly my comfort and happiness.

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:21 pm

I would be thrilled if I could look like a woman at all, even a very plain one.

S. Lisa Smith · Post by **S. Lisa Smith** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 5:10 pm

I voted passing. I love to go out and be seen as a woman. I love the way women get along, I love going out with GG's and being one of the girls! Can't explain it...I'm not a TS either.

CJ · Post by CJ » Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:59 pm

Hi all,

Well, I'm perfectly fine with what I consider "looking good" (after all, it's what makes me feel good). However, when three drunk guys are coming up to beat you, it sort of makes you wish you'd passed, instead of just looked good.

Love,
CJ

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 7:06 pm

CJ,

CJ wrote:

However, when three drunk guys are coming up to beat you, it sort of makes you wish you'd passed, instead of just looked good. Think

That is a great point that I never really considered in that regard. I have been out and had to go home because I needed to use the restroom. Using a men's public restroom is way too dangerous in my opinion. But if I were passable, I could use the womens. Never really considered that.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Chantelle · Post by **Chantelle** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 9:05 pm

when three drunk guys are coming up to beat you, it sort of makes you wish you'd passed, instead of just looked good.

CJ,

In civilized eastern Canada...I don't believe it!

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 12:10 pm

CJ wrote: However, when three drunk guys are coming up to beat you, it sort of makes you wish you'd passed, instead of just looked good.

Definitely a valid statement.

But no one is this world is completely safe from crime, regardless of gender or appearance. Such is the world. In the case of a GG we could easily substitute the word "beat" for "r*pe"...

If three drunk guys put a hand on anyone, they would go to jail.

Having an intolerant attitude is one thing. But going out of your way to commit a crime because of intolerance really takes a screwed up head. Let us all hope that we don't run into those.

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 3:15 pm

Whether the 3 drunk guys would go to jail depends largely upon who else is around at the time, I think.

In California there is now a "hate crime" law that enhances the seriousness of (and penalty for) an assault or murder when motivated by hate - lesbians, gays and TSs are included, I don't know about ordinary CDs.

Of course, this is cold comfort to the victim.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Passing vs. Looking Good

If you were forced to choose beteeen "passing" vs "looking good" which would you choose?

looking good