When did you discover gender

[Gaven McLaren]

Alright I found a topic to post on again.
Well the first time I can remember my discovering the difference between boys and girls is when I was at church and I fell for a girl that I had been friends with for quite a while. I was I think about 3 - 4 years of age. It was my first crush. Little did I know then that I was going to be in love with girls and there clothes ever sense.

[Beauty]

Yay!!! The wonderful Gaven is still with us!!!

Beauty

[Elandra]

i remember i have always felt the femm inside of me, my father always put me down for it, and when i got my first girlfriend, he told my mom well at least hes dateing the right sex >:/ its always been about judgement. i see so meny men that might not be dressing that have a lot of femm movements and feelings, i wonder how meny of them, if they had someone dress them up totaly if they would love it? if because they were always told men dont do this or that, they never realy tryed it. If i could have put on what i have on now later when i was a lot younger, my energys would have hit the roof <giggles>

[Robyn Katie]

Seems I'm resurrecting an old thread ... fun to do that. Great topic too!

I think I must have known the difference between the two genders by age four or five. I had boy and girl playmates, and Jeanie across the road was accustomed to squat to P--, so I noticed early that I had something she didn't (or, conversely, she had something I didn't, since I never thought of it as a lack).

But the icing on the cake happened on the first day of school in 3rd grade. It was a one-room schoolhouse in farming country, eastern Pennsylvania, in the 1940s. I was having a lovely day, I had met two or three girl classmates and had been spending every available minute with them, I thought they were such cool people.

Time came when the teacher excused us all in a body to go to the johns. These were wooden shanty outhouses at the rear of the school. The girls all lined up at the one on the left, and I cheerfully and sociably lined right up with them, until without any warning I got banished in no uncertain terms to the other line.

I felt this was awfully unfair. After all, at home mom used the same bathroom we did. But I wasn't given the veto.

Busted up a beautiful first day of school, and I'm afraid my new girl friends must have thought me a backward child, because I don't remember that they ever played with me again. (Violins)

A sharp little shock, and perhaps a milestone on the way to girlness, who knows.

Love, Robyn Katie

[CJ]

Hi all,

Wow. An oldie.

I never discovered gender; gender is still trying to discover me.

I was four or five years old. Intuitively, I knew mommy's shoes were a no-no (as were her slip and pantyhose) but I wore them anyway. Bad bad CJ!

Love,
CJ

[Jill S]

I read a book on child brain development recently. Most researchers say 18 to 24 months to learn gender differences but another 12 to 18 months to learn that it is a permanent condition, boys don't grow to be mothers , girls don't grow a penis that sort of thing. I wonder if that isn't were some of us got wired different. Personally I remember being shocked that we had different bathrooms in kindergarten but I had only brothers so it wasn't an issue at home.

[Jeannie]

Hi Ladies.
Gender comes in a rainbow of colors. There are the extremists on the left and right. The heterosexuals. Extremists always think they're right. It goes with the territory. But I'm a bit prejudice. I have Heterophobia. Yes CJ! It is a word! We girls are like middle America but don't know it nor does anyone else. My theory is we are the future of all humanity.Some day every human will be be multi gendered. That's my new word I just coined or it could be the Jack Daniels talkin'.
By the way CJ. You're dating yourself you young whippersnapper you. I was always in my Moms closet and also my two aunts who lived with us and all they had were garter belts and stockings. I used to get all tangled up in those instruments of torture. Pantyhose were a Godsend but the first pantyhose had no lycra or spandex and would fall down all the time. It was not an easy life back in the day.
I'm sure Lydia,Carol Ann and Virginia have horror stories about silk stocking during World War I and II. The greatest generation. I salute you gals. You handed the torch off to the baby boomers and they ran this country into the ground. Thanks so much ladies. Hugs.

Love
Auntie Jeannie

[Kimberly Kael]

I don't remember gender being some big revelation as a child, which reminds me of one of my favorite observations. Brownie points for the first one who knows where this quote hails from: Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. It must have been shattering, stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it. What does one make of that?

Back to the subject at hand. My earliest memory is of my mother's early forays into expressing herself as a feminist when I was roughly 5. She announced that "from now on all male members of the household would lower the toilet seat after peeing." I was confused at the time because I always sat down in any case, so clearly this was meaningless and represented some kind of conflict I felt on the outside of.

I remain confused to this day because I'm still not sure why women think it is easier for men to raise the seat for their needs than it is for women to lower it for theirs.

[DonnaT]

who knows where this quote hails from: Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. It must have been shattering, stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it. What does one make of that?

Rosencrantz - in Hamlet

I remain confused to this day because I'm still not sure why women think it is easier for men to raise the seat for their needs than it is for women to lower it for theirs.

They come with seats and lids. for equalities sake, lower both. Then everyone has to raise something in order to go.

[CJ]

Beautiful solution! Make everyone work.

[Carolynn]

I had walked in, as children do sometimes, on my Uncle and Grandfather while they were urinating while standing, and that was not possible for me as my genitals were variant (Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome with Hypospadia), and my mother and my cousin and Aunt, all sat to go. I had to sit to go too, until surgery in my 5th year. I was bathed with a female cousin that my mother cared for while her mother worked, and remember thinking that my somewhat variant genitalia would look like my female cousins and I would be a girl just like her in a few years. I was in my third year when I had that expectation, and it pleased me greatly. I was somewhat nonplused when "corrective" surgery pushed me the other way, though the results were less than completely successful.......

[CherryLynn]

I do think the parents play a major role in establishing gender roles for their children- happens at a very early age. By the 1st grade I knew there were differences between boys and girl. In the 4th grade there was the trama, giggles, of having to hold a girls's hand for the Maypole dance.

[CherryLynn]

Kimberly

It's funny the seat issue comes up at work all time.We have a unisex restroom at work- the gals always really get upset when the seat is left up. As one female co worker put it " for you Men all the world is your toilet."

[Edyta_C]

I was born a boy but for 5 yrs + I was raised as a girl. I played mostly with girls in the neighborhood. My best friend was the girl across the street. I knew that I did not want to play with the rough boys. Around 6 yrs of age, my Dad forced the switch back to boy. My long nearly blond hair was cut real short ( I cried for hours to no avail). I ran away with the girl across the street dressed in her clothes as a girl. I had something like a bonnet to hide my shorn head. We evaded the police for several hours since they were looking for a boy and girl, not two girls.

Anyway the point is that I was aware of gender at a very young age. I am sure that the way I feel today about being part girl, is a result of being formed in those first few years. I had many difficulties with my Dad resulting from his insistence that I be more of a guy. I had many problems through out life because I always wanted to be a girl for my Mom and made to be my Dad's boy. Sort of not sure how to please both to gain their love. Well I am over the resentment and depression that all of that caused, but I am left half way between. It is probably better this way, but at my age I still want to dress and emulate women.

So in my opinion, the concept of gender identity is formed at a very young age and has little to do with your genes. Of course the anatomical gender does play a part also. I think thats why we are so spread from part time CDer to TS and those who get SRS. We understand us better than most doctors do so lets hang together.

Hugs Edyta

[CherryLynn]

Really can't say why I ended up loving women's clothing and makeup.
Raised to be a boy and for the most did the typical boy's stuff- played little league (wasn't very good),etc. I had to wear makeup, lipstick and rouge, for a school play-at that time- hated it. Sister Christina Marie had to hold my chin to keep me still as she painted my lips and cheeks. Guess you can say that was my 1st experience with forced feminization
Hugs