MENTAL BREAK DOWN!

[RikkiOfLA]

Dear Sinjoy and Jean-P,

Thank you both so much for sharing this! I agree with Gelinda on this--don't go faster than either one of you is comfortable with! You have the whole rest of your lives to work out the details; right now, focus on loving each other and accepting each other's desires and limitations.

Better to let the mutual acceptance grow nice and slow, rather than pushing yourselves too much now (and reacting negatively later).

May G-d bless you both!

[Sinjoy(SO)]

I would like to thank everyone for your support, love and wonderful words of both encouragment and caution.

I want to thank you all for making this a safe place for everyone. I don't know what either one of us would do with out you.

I can't tell you how wonderful Jean-P has been. He is an all or nothing type of person. I know that he wanted to run down stairs and bring up all of my old clothes so we (I) could go through them. But he hasn't, baby steps. The day after the shoe purchace, he wanted to try on the shoes again, but he waited for me to wake up to ask if I would be ok with it first. I told him to go ahead, and that I would have been ok with it if he had been wearing them when I woke up. He said he wanted to ask first.

Later that evening, after some thought, I thanked him for waiting and asking me. I realised it was easy to say I would have been fine, but in reality, in actuallity I am not so sure.

Again, thank you all,

Sinjoy(so)

[Cathy L. Anderson]

I cannot kill a part of myself without killing the rest of me and that I AM A CROSSDRESSER!.. No escape...

Words are powerful. I would be cautious about possibly painting myself into a corner by self-labeling. I scrupulously avoid calling myself "a crossdresser." For me it is a behavior, not an identity.

I went through a phase of buying clothes and dressing in public. That seemed to work better than outright suppression. But over time I found that this experience dy-mystified women's clothing and crossdressing, and it became less interesting. Perhaps you will have the same experience.

Cathy

[Sinjoy(SO)]

Dear Cathy,

Let me clarify something. The not killing a part of himself without literally killing himself is something I told him.

My father, may he rest in peace, had a very hard child and teenage hood. With out going into details, he kept eveything to himself. Lets just say, a horrable early life, more so than most people could imagine.

He died at age 50 from his 3rd heart attack. I told Jean-P that my father never shared many details, and never recieved any mental help. He took a lot of "vacations" when I was growing up (short term seperations from my mom.) I firmly believe that he died so young because he tried to keep everything bottled up.

I felt that if Jean-P tried to deny what was happening to him, who he really was, that I would be a very young widow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to throw him a parade, or take out a full page ad in the paper. But I would rather him alive than dead. And I could not, will not, watch someone I love slowly kill themselves again.

We are only a the very earier beginings of this walk, but we are here together. Who knows where this journey will take us. All I know is that we are in it together.

Hope that clarifed a few things...


Sinjoy(so)