An explanation and an apology

[Kay(SO)]

Thanks for the Welcome Back Donna! I really want to be here. It's just difficult finding the time lately. I will do my best to pop in when I can. There are so many wonderful people here that it's hard to stay away for too long, without at least checking in to see what's going on. It seems I've missed a lot during the past year. But, I was needed elsewhere, helping my family heal and my daughter stay on track after the past two years of hell. It's wonderful to be home again!

Kay(SO)

[Stephanie W]

Hi CJ

Like you, the winter blahs have taken their toll, and living where we do, it seems to go on and on... I totally understand where you're coming from as the difficult times in our life just seem to compound during this time of the year. There have been times where I've had to busy myself with other things that have kept me away from here for short periods but strangely enough, I too have occasionally felt disconnected from here as well as cding in general over the last couple of months. Seems every where I turn, so many other gals have been feeling much the same so I am not surprised you wanting to take a break. Must be something in the air. Who knows?

We'll miss having you around for a while but when you're ready to return, we'll know you'll be the old CJ again. Look forward to that.

Stephanie

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

CJ, what can I say that hasn't already been said?

We'll miss you, but just remember spring is just around the corner (even in Canada) and we'll be here for you.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks for the support!

It always warms the heart to see that people care (even though I know that such is the case).

There have been many changes lately in my life (no pun intended). My workload has increased (gradually) after my prolonged absence. I'm now back to a regular caseload (just over twenty people). Also, the boss hired new staff to cope with the increased pressure from the community to offer our services; last month we went from 32 staffers to 42 (my own team of community counsellors went from six to eight). Also, my roommate Marie and I have come to some kind of understanding: I can dress femininely when it suits me but I won't crossdress in her presence--she's just not capable of dealing with that. Finally, I went to visit my father a couple of weekends ago.

Tie all this up with the fact that, as I said earlier, I have a lot of trouble keeping my spirits up in the winter, and it all puts a hearty meal on my psychological plate.

Sharon,

I'm sorry I let you down. I couldn't do it. I don't have the energy. Above all, I just don't have the time nor the opportunity (I'm using the computer now because Marie and Carole left yesterday for a two-week vacation in Costa Rica so I have access to Marie's computer, meaning I'll have it at my disposal a bit more over the next several days). I wish I could do more. And I truly hope and wish for you to be well.

As many of you here have said, I'm trying to look after myself for a spell (and, being who I am, that's a job and a half in itself, I'll tell ya! ). I look forward to dropping in a bit more often than I have, lately.

To all of you who offered support here or via e-mails and PM's, a big "Thank you!" It means a lot to me.

Love and wishes for a happy spring,
CJ

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hey, CJ - welcome back, even if it's only for a brief visit!!

I am glad that your life is starting to settle down a bit, and if you hadn't posted I was going to call you this week - - hmmm, maybe I'll do that anyway! Yep - the next time you answer the phone it just may be me!

Love and hugs, dear friend!!

- SL

[Virginia]

CJ,
Hon, I think all your sisters here understand to some degree, what you are going through. Although we miss you we do all wish you the very best and hope you can be with us as often as possible. I know I always look forward to your insightful responses and some of your questions really make me think that - yes there are other ways to look at something, Ways that I never considered and that is one of the beauties of this family. Having alternatives from others helps a lot of us make better decisions with our lives! You contribute a lot to that and we love you for it!
I look forward to your participation even in a potentially limited amount!
Love ya,
Virginia

[Jeannie]

It isn't an easy life but then again life isn't easy. Happiness comes in small doses. I sure your due for another dose. You're such a nice person. I'm sure you'll feel better soon. You deserve it
Life is too short to be unhappy. Wish you the best Hun. Big hug and kiss.

Love
Jeannie

PS I'll leave you with a lyric from Hedwig

You know the strange rock and rollers
You know you're doing alright
So hold on to each other
You've got to hold on tight

If you ever need a hug CJ we're all here for you Honey. Just call. Love you Hun. Hope to see you soon. It's no fun to miss someone especially someone like you Beautiful.

[Elizabeth]

Hi CJ,

I don't know how this post slipped past me, but it is nice to see you post after almost a one month absense. I remember the discouragement you seemed to feel after your RLT, and your job situation seemed to undecided. It would appear that you have decided about your job.

I am not sure where this leaves you. Not that it is any of my business, it certainly is not. More, just a curiousity about your well being because I feel a certain closeness to you because of the relationship we have developed here and in our phone conversations.

I was not really aware you were having any other issues about your dressing. I did not know that Marie had a problem with your dressing. For some reason, prolly because of my own situation, I assumed that because you were roommates and friends, it really did not require her acceptance, but knowing the caring person you are, it makes perfect sense. In any event, I am glad that you were able to work things out in such a way that your needs can be met, while not jeopardizing your friendship with Marie.

I wish I had some words that I could say that might help you on your quest. but only you can know what is going to work for you. Trust yourself sis, you are a wonderful person.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Virginia]

CJ,
My sis, Elizabeth said it for me !
Keep the faith, girlfriend!
Virginia

[CJ]

Hi all,

I was officially diagnosed with SAD a couple of years ago and was told by my GP to surf on over to Northern Lights, a leading manufacturer of sun lamps specializing in SAD prevention (10,000 lux or more). Sadly (or is that 'depressingly'?), I never did. This year I will, though. Promise. I'm getting sick and tired of having my friendships destabilize four or five months out of every year.


Love,
CJ

[Carolynn]

Hi CJ!! Really nice to see a post from you here. I hope all is going well for you, and you have been getting the goods out of therapy. It is continuing, yes?

Talk to you later!

Love, Carolynn

[CJ]

Hi all,

Carolynn,

Thanks for the good wishes.

It seems therapy has stopped for now. I've postponed it three weeks in a row now. Still digesting what went on there over the past couple of months.

I do, however, feel fine, thanks!

Catch you soon.

Love,
CJ

[Virginia]

Miss seeing you here, honey!!!
You know I always look forward to Cj's insight and input. You have been a "guiding light" for this girl, bless you for that. You can be assured that you made quite an impression on me and helped my find my way on my "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Hope you can stay around for a while and for whatever its worth I did some some research on SAD and the lights seem to be the current accepted treatment. I do have an idea, come on down here and we will move to Florida together and start a commune -- what do you think!?
Love you,
Virginia

[CJ]

Florida? You mean that place down there where all the super-tanned Québecois live? and where the mosquitoes are the size of alligators and the alligators the size of Saturn V rockets? Heh. Maybe some day, Virginia.

For sure, Florida's on my roster of American must-sees, along with New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Virginia, Washington D.C., Texas, and California. Will this "CJ Whirlind Tour" ever come to pass? I doubt it. I'll certainly try to visit a few folks in the future. And, yes, I would hope that you and your Southern Belle would be a port of call.

In the meantime, though, I'll have my plush blankets to keep me warm in the winter. And maybe a sunlamp, too.

Love,
CJ

[Georgia(SO)]

CJ-

So glad to see you back! And as I sit here in the deep South, it's 6:40 PM and 97 degrees ... gotta tell ya, Canada looks mighty good!

georgia(so)