I think "telling or not telling" also has a social dimension. There's a glaring paradox, here: on the one hand, we fear to tell because of the possibly negative psychological consequences (both to ourselves and to our loved ones) but, on the other hand, we wish that myths and stereotypes about crossdressers could be done away with.
We can do away with myths and stereotypes about crossdressers by telling others who we are. That can be both liberating and serve to demystify transvestism and crossdressing.
Whenever I tell someone about this side of me, two things usually happen: one, I feel a "rush" at finally being known in my truest aspect and, two, the person I've told almost inevitably becomes curious and fascinated (after the initial shock or surprise, of course!). In the ensuing conversations, I realize that many people actually do hold a multitude of misconceptions about men who dress as women. I even had a conversation with a gay friend recently, where I opened myself up to him about this (I'd told him years ago, but we'd never discussed it in any depth), and was shocked to learn that he thought all such men were homosexuals! Uh-oh! Major demystification time, here, girls! "Yes, I told him, you'll find that most men that do this in the Gay Village are, indeed, homosexual drag queens. Yet, most crossdressers are straight." He had trouble believing that.
A few days ago, I also came out to a good GG friend of mine (my best friend's GF) and, not only was her reaction not negative, she actually became fascinated and enthusiastic, confessing that she'd always loved to hang out with her Gay and TG friends--something I was completely unaware of! She called herself a Fag Hag... (here we go again, I thought). More myth-killing went on, here too, folks.
Kyra,
About telling your father... put this in the balance: Can it possibly bring you two closer together if he accepts this? If he doesn't accept this, would it destroy your relationship beyond any chance of repair? Do you feel that you would suffer more by not telling him than he would suffer by knowing this about you? Is there already some indication that he loves you unconditionally?
One last thing, Kyra: if you do tell him, tell him in the morning!
Good luck and Godspeed!Love,
CJ
P.S.
Your new pix in the Photo Gallery are wonderful!
