Acceptance?

Alana · Post by **Alana** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:03 am

My wife is between barely tolerates to none, and probably closer to the latter. She has known about my crossdressing for about twenty-some years. However, her position is mostly how do we cure this? She generally tenses up and clams up if I bring up the subject, and she won't bring up the subject.

I still dress, use make up, etc., but not overtly in front of her. I do shave my legs periodically, but she has never said anything, even when I cuddle up to her in bed. It's kind of a "don't ask, don't tell situation."

Love,

Alana

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:29 am

Alana, sorry to hear that. Gee I figure after 20 years she would have a grip on the problem and the two of you could work it out.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:50 am

Hi Denise,
You two should come to Fielden's in Richmond sometime with us. It is a private club that has a First Friday's every month just for "us." You will meet some of the nicest girls there. My SO (on the forum we all know her as SilverLady) and I try and go every month. The only short coming is they can't open the club to us until mid-night so you need to get plenty of rest. We usually go down on Friday and shop then go out to dinner then back to the motel and re-dress for Fielden's. I might also point out that there is the annual TGPride week-end coming up in April with a dinner starting out on Friday April 13.
I know this is probably to late but we are going this week-end as well. Several of us from the forum will be there. So if you get this and want to go on this short notice, PM me for details.
Love,
Virginia

Jamie Sue · Post by **Jamie Sue** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:40 pm

It's so nice to have support from your SO

Karren Hutton · Post by **Karren Hutton** » Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:32 am

That's right Jamie Sue... Just rub it in!!! Lol. Want to poke me in the eyes with a mascara wand too?? Hehe

Karren

Sally · Post by **Sally** » Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:13 pm

My wife is very good about who and what I am and what I do, except she has never been comfortable with my taking of female hormones and anti-androgens. Her concern is from the health angle and what may result from cell changes in the body due to changing the balance of hormones in my body. A compromise was struck about 6 years ago whereby I promised this was as far as I’d go, but she stipulated that she couldn’t give me any guarantees about our future together if I went all the way.

She's fine with my living mostly as a female, and in the past we’ve even had some of my closer friends in the TG world stay with us for a weekend and my wife has interacted with them no problems at all. As long as I don’t do anything to embarrass or disgrace the family ( any more than I may have) then she’s fine. We shop together in the women’s wear shops and life is generally as good as it can get without me ever achieving my life long goal.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:18 pm

Hi ladies. I lived most of my life in the closet and feeling bad about myself.. No more. I told my wife Mini a couple of years ago and although we are still married she lives elsewhere. I love it! The family that lives apart stays together. Life is short. I just can't live with someone who treats me like a child and tells me what I can or cannot do. Call me selfish but that's how I feel. Maybe it's getting older and getting closer to my rendevous with destiny. Death! Your in that box a long time.If you don't like me,there's the door! I don't want to play head games with a partner for the rest of my days. My kids are just fine with me. My son is gay and when I told him about me and living in the closet was awful he said"Tell me about it!" My daughter Katie and I are the same size and she borrows my clothes and never gives them back! My wife is out of the loop! Serves her right! It's great!
Everyone has to do in life what makes it a good life. Don't make everyone around you happy at your expense. Been there. Done that. Hugs and lipstick kisses.

Love
Jeannie

PS Karen! You should have a late night show! The Karen Hutton Show. Move over Letterman and Leno! There's a new sheriff in town! You're a hoot Hon! Love Ya!

Rikki · Post by **Rikki** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:05 pm

And Jeannie, you could be her "Ed McM."!!!
Rikki

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:36 pm

And NOW!!!! heeeeeerrrrrrreeeeesssssss Jeannie!!!!!!!!
Rock on Girlfriend - rock on!!!!
WE LOVE YOU!
Virginia

Lisa(SO) · Post by **Lisa(SO)** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:57 pm

I fully participate. There are times though that Elayne emerges and I just have to laugh at us. What a pair we make! I love my husband so I am trying to learn everything there is to know. I am very secure in our relationship and that the honesty is there so i am not left wondering if he wants to transition etc. Every person is different though.

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:43 pm

Lisa
You are such beautiful person inside and out. I wish you and your family nothing but the best. Big hug and smooch for all of you.

Love
Jeannie

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:33 pm

Amen Jeannie, she is such a sweetheart!!! We certainly appreciate her participation on the forum as well. I know I have said this before, but it bears repeating. As we traverse this veil of tears, the one thing that we can do to bring us that inner glow is to lend a helping hand to one of our fellow travellers who may be struggling. Some people are blessed with that opportunity and choose to ignore it or don't even recognize it as an opportunity. However, on this forum, we have our sisters come here and some are really struggling and we extend our hand to them be it CD'er or GG and I know for a fact that we have helped a lot of our sisters and isn't that what we are here for?
Love you all,
Virginia

PaulaG · Post by **PaulaG** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:20 pm

My wife is accepting of my dressing both for myself and when she wants it. Her only request is that I don't go out dressed because she fears that something bad will happen to me, and since I don't have a need to go out dressed, that is an easy one for me to keep.

Karren Hutton · Post by **Karren Hutton** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:06 pm

Each time I read something about the "accepting SO" and reading the posts by GG's, the more I keep thinking that the "totally accepting SO" is just a dream or wishful thinking and doesn't exist in the real world... There are always issues, some large like crossdressing itself and some small, but overall there just seems to varying degrees of tolerance.... For what we do.. Kind of a sliding scale from Zero to 99%... With 100% being an asymptote of sorts..... Sounds like its time to develope a formula or two.. The ASO ratio?? Or maybe instad of IQ it's AQ.... Acceptance Quotient... Hehe. And its probably going to have to calculate two separate numbers, one for us, what we think our SO's AQ is and one for them, what their AQ really is because I don't think we see things the same way!! We tend to have pink colored glasses on when viewing acceptence.... Add the two together and divide by two maybe.. Lol. Average AQ...

Love Karren

Denise Douglas · Post by **Denise Douglas** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:32 pm

Hi Karren,
I never thought that I would find a completely accepting SO, I thought that they did not exist based on my previous experience of quite a few years and quite a few relationships. I was glad to find out that I was wrong when I got remarried seven years ago, my wife is totally accepting and pretty much allows me to dress when and how I please (though she has taught me a lot about style and taste in clothing). We shop for clothes together, she finds things she thinks would look good on me when she is out shopping alone, we get our acrylic nails and eyebrow waxing done at the same salon, she often suggests that I need to dress more because I'm getting "too uptight" and need to chill, I just cannot believe that a relationship can be like this and I was shocked at how accepting she became in a short period of time with the proper amount of baby steps to help her adjust more easily. So these SOs do exist and some of us are fortunate enough to find them. I guess you could say that I'm very happily married for the duration.
Denise

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Acceptance?

Soooo... How does your SO accept your crossdressing?

Acceptance

I'll put in my worthless two cents!

Love Ya Hon