Does it ever get to be too much?

[Seville]

Happens to all of us.
Right now I'm entering a low...haven't even tried on the
last 3 dresses I bought nor the latest mail order shoe
purchases.

But I know this low will pass...and so will yours

[Aislin]

If it is in the water we do not have the same. I have been buying more and more, and wearing more and more. Might have something to do with temperature. Here it is trying to heat up, with highs in the low 50's and the snow melting ( Near Boise ). I am also wearing more and starting to figure out makeup. My SO is instructing. I hope you all remember that a purge can be just packing it away for a time and not getting rid of them.

[Danielle La Belle]

Hi Girls:

I will try to be reasonable and responsible here and not write a book.

Unfortunately, we are really in principle, chemicals. Our greatest organ, the brain, floats, suspended by a blood-brain barrier that keeps the brain from banging about during exercise and movement in general. This is important. Ask any boxer that has become "punch-drunk."

So, all we think, all we feel, really boils down to chemicals in the brain and our neuron network that serves as an in-born electrical system or mental pathway.

Bottom line: When you feel you are "in love" as en example, this condition is simply put, a chemical reaction in some specific order that creates the associated feelings that go with the thought. When you are angry, the same principles apply. Just a specific chemical reaction, coupled with the corresponding thought that gives us that specific resulting feeling we call anger. Let's keep it simple for now.

So....when we dress, there is typically something behind it. If we do so to try to feel better, we teach ourselves to associate with feeling better when we dress fem. We use it something like the "carrot and the stick." We want to feel better so we follow this line of thinking and then act on it.

The problem with this is that we do not always feel better. The "better" feeling is created in the mind by the production of endorphins. Hormones that for lack of a better term, "are the happy juice of the brain."

When we dress, if it is because of something that has already made us low on endorphins and a subsequent sad feeling, we do not always "snap" back by dressing. The "low" continues to follow us. This becomes rather more complicated by our ability to function and think as we call it. As we "think," we cause changes in the hormone chemistry of the brain and so, we may actually cause low endorphin production which leads to further sadness. If you dress with a theme, like you are going out to a party etc., to be with other people of like kind, then you may enhance your mood directly over being dressed and subsequently alone. I always dress with an objective and never in a hurry even if it is just to do housework etc. I plan my time and know where everyone is going to be during that time so I do not feel pressed to complete some exercise or test. Dressing is only one part of life. If you are living alone, you are alone no matter what you wear!

If you have ever watched a movie that presents happiness, then sadness, then happiness at the end, you have just experienced the power of the brain. Everything on the "big screen" is just an event unfolding. It is up to you and your brain to decipher the social, emotional message that is present in the movie. Doubt my word? Watch a movie in a foreign language with no subtitles. You will carefully watch the faces and decipher by their fluctuation, coupled with body gestures what is going on. Many people in other countries learned to speak some English by watching American soap operas.

My spouse has a slow synapse response. So, if she watches a variety of television programming all day, by the end of the day she typically is rather moody. Most of the time the moody feelings are negative if she watched a mixed variety including violent programming...kick boxing, judo, karate, etc. Her brain's emotional patterns are jumbled and confused and it shows.

I firmly believe that we were not designed to expose ourselves to so much social change in such a fast pace manner, but that is my thinking on the subject of television. I read a great deal, enjoy the information highway and what it offers in the way of educational ideas and information. I make money via this form of communication as well. Television and I have parted company pretty much with less than 10 hours per week now.

So, if you find that you are not getting what you expect from dressing fem, it may be a time for a change in regard to your personal objectives and reasoning. I myself find that I can pass on such activities now for longer periods of time as needed. With my spouse at home and SIL recovering from her spine surgery, I am surrounded by the very femininity that I wish to emulate. Not much time for me, Danielle, so I have come up with some very inventive (if I say so myself), ways to cope. No, I rarely if ever attend meetings or parties. I am my own counsel for the most part.

Everyone needs to access their own life from time to time. Self introspection and personal examination of our motives, desires, wants, needs etc. This can be a very good thing if we take the time to be honest with ourselves and find our way down the short road of life.

Hugs Many Times,

Danielle Marie

[Virginia]

Hey Hon! I miss you! You make me think that is for sure. I think that we agree and we both reach the same conclusion but come to it from somewhat different directions or we vault over each other. Some times it is which came first the fact that we have the gift and did not know it or that it exploded in us and we suppressed, repressed or ignored it until ?something? brought "her" to life in us!

You well know that there are as many places on the continuum as there are "girls" on this girly rainbow!

Since science can not give us a concrete explanation as to why we are the way we are, yet there are some (to me) very reasonable "explanations" I guess some of us will take hold of one that we feel "meets our needs" and live with that one, until or unless someone changes our minds! Once we accept that we are crossdressers then (and I can only speak for me) we begin asking ourselves the how's and whys. You know I call it a "gift" but it has been taken out of context from what I mean. The "gift" is NOT the ability to dress, go out among "the great unwashed" and pass! No, the gift is to feel, to experience and to ultimately share the feminine mystique!
It is my considered opinion that many crossdressers can not, do not, will not reach that aspect of their own destiny. They are content with the physical aspect alone and that is fine! I have the gift and once Virginia presented it to me and I saw the beauty in it I was off and running and will never, never look back. Oh, I love to dress and I pass, but that is not the beauty of "the gift." It is the ability to gently touch others lives in a positive way and to see that somewhat surprised expression as they think, "gee, this person actually sees me as another human being and cares about me!"

Overwhelmed - only by the good that being who I am can do as what some call "a bi-gendered" person!

Hope you stay and share more with us, Danielle!

Love,

Virginia

[Miss Robyn]

Miss Emma, I know how you feel, this past week I didn't feel like putting anything on or even thinking bout my clothes.

Its nice to be manly for a bit, to take a break when it can be overwhelming.

Miss Robyn

[Miss Emma]

It's been so long since I have been on here. A few months ago, I came out to the world as transgendered, and have had the incredible blessing of it not blowing up in my face. However, even though I am completely open, I still dress like a boy around everyone. Sure, a large portion of it is because of my dad, but even then, the thought of dressing up in front of people still terrifies me. I am just going to chalk this up to inexperience though.

On another note, while scientifically I agree completely that thoughts and emotions are simply the result of a system of neurons and chemicals, I can't help but think, at least on an emotional level, that if thought was just the result of a physical process, then there would be no creativity. No individuality. Almost all of our physical functions are closely similar amongst other human beings. A burp is a burp, sweating is sweating and so on and so forth. So if we evolved all evolved with a human brain, which is divided into the same parts as other human brains, then why is it that we are not all clones of each other? I will never be able to explain why, but somehow, I think there is more involved. Besides, I could be wrong ( my only experience in psychology consists of one class I took in my sophomore year in High-School, two years ago. ) but aren't the scientific notions of emotion and thought only theories? It wasn't long ago that you could sail off the earth. Anywho, you are all extraordinarily intelligent and diverse people, and it is such a wonderful thing that we can connect like this.

[Danielle La Belle]

Hello Miss Emma:

Philosophy, psychology, sociology, are properties that we of course associate with "thinking humans." It is easy to simply make statements as such, but, within the context of the ideas, there is this human quality that we consider specifically human in comparison to all other known sources of information be it animal, and alike.

I just finished for the 3rd time a course entitled, "The Great Ideas of Psychology," taught by a prolific scholar, Professor Daniel N. Robinson of Georgetown University and Oxford University visiting adjunct. Found at teach12.com for those interested in non-credit education with advanced, selected professors from around the world.

Bottom line.... there is a great deal more than we have time for here. My point here is that even in the course Dr. Robinson touches on the distinct and recognized difference between brain sex/gender and anatomical sex as defined by body parts/dimensions.

He makes remarks about how this also occurs in the animal kingdom and laboratory testing demonstrates clearly how introducing a hormonal change in the brain will render one with a different gender identity vs. the body type. First articulated course that touches upon the subject from an empirical and scientific consideration.

There are many variations of this formula, so too, we see this here on the forum. Under the umbrella of "Transgendered" rest various factions that associate with the concept but that are different in their context and behavior.

90% of Americans do not have a passport. We are not well traveled and for that many, we are not well educated in a manner that would make us that much more diversified. So it goes as one might say. We as a society reflect that which we have been best exposed to.

Hugs

Danielle Marie

[Sylvia H]

Emma,

I am sure there are those who will disagree with the following, but so what?

All science can do is play catch-up with what already exists. We have had really smart people working for hundreds of years trying to find ways of describing our existence. We have made some progress, but I am hesitant to give scientists and philosophers too much credit. I dont suggest we stop asking questions however.
I would be sorely disappointed if everything could be reduced to some formula or other. I believe we are more than that anyway. It is reassuring that our question asking seems to be leading to another view not so simplistic and mechanical. A view where the mechanical and metaphysical appear to be linked in a way not recognized before. We are still developing the language that describes this process. Maybe the final frontier isnt space?

We dont have to accept everything everybody says just because everyone is saying it. Its ok to think outside the box as it were. We are CDs, we are already outside the box. I love it.

xox
Sylvia

[CherryLynn]

So, all we think, all we feel, really boils down to chemicals in the brain and our neuron network that serves as an in-born electrical system or mental pathway.
Danielle Marie

Hi Danielle Marie
I agree with in part- chemicals and drugs can change the briain and our behavior- have seen that friends that are bi polar and with my mother - alzeimers.

I like to think though ,giggles, that we are more than just a bunch of chemical reactions- fascinating subject and been debated for such a long time.
Cheryl

[LeslyAllen]

happens all the time to me. I buy, buy, buy, then purge as the quilt comes over me, but then I buy, buy,buy again! Just can"t stop it and I amthe happiest when I give in. LeslyAllen

[DonnaT]

happens all the time to me. I buy, buy, buy, then purge as the quilt comes over me, but then I buy, buy,buy again! Just can"t stop it and I amthe happiest when I give in. LeslyAllen

Seems to me, if you didn't purge, you wouldn't have to keep buying and buying. Then there would be less to feel guilty about.

If you are happiest when you dress, then wouldn't it be easier to dress if you didn't have to go out and buy something before being able to dress?

So, quit purging so you find more time to be happy and you'll feel less guilty about spending more and more money on new clothes.

[Absaroka]

Since I feel guiltier about spending the money than wearing the clothes the solution is easy, just don't purge. I always have the option of not wearing the clothes....

Absaroka

[Dottie]

Having dressed for many years I too have been through stages of ridding myself of my feminine side.

It was more intense in my younger years and I think it is just part of the process of you deciding what you want to be.

For me, as soon as I reverted to being a 'typical' male, it was only days before I wanted to start dressing again.

Try and accept the fact that we are what we are and enjoy life without regrets.