Sorry Anita I had to do it!
That was a great out and about story.
Thank you!!!
Beauty
Getting "read"
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Beauty
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Great story Anita!Anita wrote:I had one very bad day, right near my beginnings, and it was bad it was funny. I had three "reads" within an hour, where the people reacted strongly. One older woman did such a double-take that she looked like a cartoon character.
I was annoyed at all this, but I wanted to check out foam pads at a boutique in San Francisco, and I was not going home to change. Big mistake. The boutique was in the Hispanic part of SF, and the blocks are long and teeming with people.
I had to park six blocks away, and my, those were long blocks! "Hey, Chica! Muy Bonito!" " Que Bueno!" All the attention was "good" attention, I guess, but I wanted to crawl in a hole. That was the first time I realized how women do not always want to be the center of attention when walking down the street.
But I made it home, and so did you. And you went out again, and so did I.
A
I remember getting read by a group of young kids one summer night - talk about the worst time of year to be read! It's hot, and most folks out there are more rambunctious and aggressive than ever. Certain areas (even in open-minded old Manhattan) are just rampant with testosterone. I almost got into a fight that night, but am glad that I decided to keep my cool and be the bigger adult in that situation by ignoring the jerks.
Plus there were 5 of them and one of me, so I propbably would have had my butt handed to me.
But the night that I got the MOST attention was Halloween night 1999. I was dressed as a Dallas cheerleader. I had real shiny Danskin pantyhose on and the skirt part of the costume was REAL short. I had to walk about 12-13 blocks to the train back home!
Along the way, horns were honking, there were whistles and catcalls galore, along with shouts of "GO DALLAS!"Confession: I loved it!!!
Live it. Love it. OWN IT.
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Virginia
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Rikki,
Thanks for your statement about if we get read it only serves to promote Cd'ing- You are simply stating that "its the pioneers that take the arrows."
And as one of our sisters states, "i'm man enough to be a woman!" I think that none of us who try to pass want to get read, but if it does happen we need to remember, we are not alone and it could have a positive effect on our sisters in the future. Thanks Rikki,
Love Ya,
Debbie
Thanks for your statement about if we get read it only serves to promote Cd'ing- You are simply stating that "its the pioneers that take the arrows."
And as one of our sisters states, "i'm man enough to be a woman!" I think that none of us who try to pass want to get read, but if it does happen we need to remember, we are not alone and it could have a positive effect on our sisters in the future. Thanks Rikki,
Love Ya,
Debbie
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Sally
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Getting "read"
I'm not sure if and when I get read, because I always go about my business taking little notice of those around me, but I know only too well how difficult it can be initially.
I remember I used to think everyone was staring at me which always made me feel so self conscious. I found after a time that by studying my reflection, and those around me, in a shop window I could see that nobody was interested in me and that was virtually the beginning where I started to gain my self confidence.
It takes time to learn how to walk, sit and 'think' like a female, but I did find it easier in the first inst by going out in a group. I also believe that what is very important is how we react if someone does make a comment. In the early days I used to just freeze, but I learned to just smile and walk away and I have never really had a situation evolve where I felt in any danger since.
Some of the things I had to learn were, not to hang back before going through a door, women expect to go through first or have the door held open for them, I also had to learn never to sit in the front seat of a taxi. Women have different mannerisms to males which take time and practice to master. It covers all aspects of behaviour, including smoking, drinking, eating etc, things such as lifting the little finger when drinking is not female in my view, it is an individual mannerism of both sexes.
I think for anyone who is contemplating going out in public, the best I can pass on from my past experience is to just try and be natural and be yourself and enjoy yourself. Nobody is unduly interested in you unless you draw attention to yourself. People can smell 'fear' and in the early days a bad experience can set us back a long way. We all missed out on feminine mothering practices so it takes time and practice to move around publicly without having to be conscious every minute of what we're doing, our mannerisms, are we walking right or sitting with legs closed etc etc, but the end result is worth all the effort ten times over.
I think that whether we get read or not, if we act with dignity and be aware that we are ambassadors for all those who choose to stay behind closed doors, we not only enjoy life but we can feel good in the fact we are doing our bit to try and make the road easier for those coming behind us.
I'm not sure how right this is, because my mind thinks different to most, but a friend once told me that if he was able to dress and walk around in public without people knowing he was really a male dressed as a female, then he would lose his true identity and dressing in female clothes would lose all it's meaning to him. He says proudly that he is a man who likes to dress as a woman, nothing more, nothing less and if the world thought he was a woman then all meaning would be lost. Maybe some people may have thoughts on that, I know there are many people who are unsure as to what path their destiny lies in and it's no simple task defining that path, I know.
To just add a little aside to the last, it is an accepted practice amongst many medics who deal with intending transitional people, if it is a M/F transition, they put the subject on a course of female hormones for a few months then have the person cease taking them for a time and monitor the changes. This is just one method which helps medics to determine whether a person is a true T/S or a CD who is unsure of their path. It has been found that if the person is a true T/S their dressing as a female will not alter during this trial, but if the person is CD then they will lose their desire to dress in female clothes. Their maleness wanes due to the hormones and the reasons they crossdressed from male to female no longer have the drive they once did, whereas the T/S dresses for different reasons and her attitude and desires don't change with the hormone treatment.
The Jesuits say, " Give me a child until it is six and the rest of the childs behaviour is determined." I think that prophecy may have truth to it in more ways than one.
Kind Regards to all.
Sally.
I remember I used to think everyone was staring at me which always made me feel so self conscious. I found after a time that by studying my reflection, and those around me, in a shop window I could see that nobody was interested in me and that was virtually the beginning where I started to gain my self confidence.
It takes time to learn how to walk, sit and 'think' like a female, but I did find it easier in the first inst by going out in a group. I also believe that what is very important is how we react if someone does make a comment. In the early days I used to just freeze, but I learned to just smile and walk away and I have never really had a situation evolve where I felt in any danger since.
Some of the things I had to learn were, not to hang back before going through a door, women expect to go through first or have the door held open for them, I also had to learn never to sit in the front seat of a taxi. Women have different mannerisms to males which take time and practice to master. It covers all aspects of behaviour, including smoking, drinking, eating etc, things such as lifting the little finger when drinking is not female in my view, it is an individual mannerism of both sexes.
I think for anyone who is contemplating going out in public, the best I can pass on from my past experience is to just try and be natural and be yourself and enjoy yourself. Nobody is unduly interested in you unless you draw attention to yourself. People can smell 'fear' and in the early days a bad experience can set us back a long way. We all missed out on feminine mothering practices so it takes time and practice to move around publicly without having to be conscious every minute of what we're doing, our mannerisms, are we walking right or sitting with legs closed etc etc, but the end result is worth all the effort ten times over.
I think that whether we get read or not, if we act with dignity and be aware that we are ambassadors for all those who choose to stay behind closed doors, we not only enjoy life but we can feel good in the fact we are doing our bit to try and make the road easier for those coming behind us.
I'm not sure how right this is, because my mind thinks different to most, but a friend once told me that if he was able to dress and walk around in public without people knowing he was really a male dressed as a female, then he would lose his true identity and dressing in female clothes would lose all it's meaning to him. He says proudly that he is a man who likes to dress as a woman, nothing more, nothing less and if the world thought he was a woman then all meaning would be lost. Maybe some people may have thoughts on that, I know there are many people who are unsure as to what path their destiny lies in and it's no simple task defining that path, I know.
To just add a little aside to the last, it is an accepted practice amongst many medics who deal with intending transitional people, if it is a M/F transition, they put the subject on a course of female hormones for a few months then have the person cease taking them for a time and monitor the changes. This is just one method which helps medics to determine whether a person is a true T/S or a CD who is unsure of their path. It has been found that if the person is a true T/S their dressing as a female will not alter during this trial, but if the person is CD then they will lose their desire to dress in female clothes. Their maleness wanes due to the hormones and the reasons they crossdressed from male to female no longer have the drive they once did, whereas the T/S dresses for different reasons and her attitude and desires don't change with the hormone treatment.
The Jesuits say, " Give me a child until it is six and the rest of the childs behaviour is determined." I think that prophecy may have truth to it in more ways than one.
Kind Regards to all.
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
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Virginia
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Sally, hon, great post as always.
When Deborah goes out she does not want to be read, however I think she could deal with it if it happened. As you and Rikki have both said, if we are read it just makes it easier for our sisters who come along later. I am not sure of the time frame of how long it has taken the Gays and Lesbians to reach their level of acceptance in society, but we may be next. I read the post about Mr. Walls in Texas running for re-election and getting "outed" by "we assume" is political opponent and losing his re-election bid. yet he got 40% of the vote. It was also stated that at his age (64?) talk about being a pioneer and "taking the arrows." We all probably owe him and our other sisters who came before us a debt of gratitude. They had no internet for support and it was definitely NOT politically correct to go to a "shirink" if you had a problem - especially Crossdressing.
I just have to quote Winston Churchill: " Never give-up; Never give-up; Never give-up!"
Love ya all,
Deborah
When Deborah goes out she does not want to be read, however I think she could deal with it if it happened. As you and Rikki have both said, if we are read it just makes it easier for our sisters who come along later. I am not sure of the time frame of how long it has taken the Gays and Lesbians to reach their level of acceptance in society, but we may be next. I read the post about Mr. Walls in Texas running for re-election and getting "outed" by "we assume" is political opponent and losing his re-election bid. yet he got 40% of the vote. It was also stated that at his age (64?) talk about being a pioneer and "taking the arrows." We all probably owe him and our other sisters who came before us a debt of gratitude. They had no internet for support and it was definitely NOT politically correct to go to a "shirink" if you had a problem - especially Crossdressing.
I just have to quote Winston Churchill: " Never give-up; Never give-up; Never give-up!"
Love ya all,
Deborah
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Cami
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Well I can't make a comment for being read as I still havn't ventured out.....Hey I'm working on it! Unfourtunatly I have a story about this topic. I was in my late teens or early 20's working at my Fathers shop in our relativly small town.
Now before I go any further please understand that I was still in denial about myself dressing, still totally ashamed of myself and my fealings. I had not yet even come close to dealing with my issues.
Anyhow, it was a quite day with me and my Dad just talking and doing small jobs to pass the time. That's when she came in. A tall gal that I imediatly Read. I waited on her and recall being very short and to the point Buisness Buisness Buisness. I was mortified, yes you read that right I was mortified. ???!!! I almost felt that I was being read! Very strange. Maybe it was me having to help this gal with my Father watching, who knows how the mind works really. I noticed that she talked to my Father for a moment, allthough I never heard the exchange. I rang her up and she left. My Father nor I ever said a word.
Now fast forward about 8 or 9 years. I have just come to terms about myself I have found the forums and started interacting with Girrls online, meet some great gals and started posting my pics ect. ect. I'm in the chat room and meet a girrl that lives in the town right next to mine. Now I live in Alaska......this is not common here (so I thought). I panicked for a second or two LOL it's kinda funny now really. We chatted and were getting along smashingly. She had just finished Transitioning and was big into helping local girrls. I worked out a chance to meet her at her home.
I drove there with no fear (in boy mode, hey I'm working on the going out dressed thing, I swear ), met her and had a great time! It was one of the best moments of my CD life. While chatting with her I told her what I did for a living. At that moment she reconized me immediatly as the boy behind the counter. We chatted a bit about it. She told me she had just recently started her Transition at that time. I appologized for possible being rude at that time (I still feal bad about not being more pollite to this day).
I also learned what she said to my Father that day. She had commented on a picture that my Dad had on the wall. A picture in remembrance of the Marines in Viet Nam (A very strong & emmotional pic for those that were there, I have learned). She had been a Marine there (God Bless her for that). She said he (my Father) was short with her, all buisness lol (the family way of dealing with things).
This gal later turned out to be the first person, besides my wife, to know me as Cami & her Brother. I owe her so much. She calls me Cami or Cam & I just addore her for that. She looks in my Brother's eyes but see's Cami.
She gave me something that day we meet (besides a kick Butt pair of Forms ). She gave me ammo against my Dad if and when I ever tell him (or he finds out) about Cami. Everyone is different in some way or another,but we're just people like everyone else. That Mechanic that works in the pit next to you and busts his knuckle might be bummed about how the scab will clash with his nails later. Maybe your Son who just helped you Roof the new garage, who knows he can't were a short skirt for a week or two because his shins are bruised from helpping. Even Marines who fought and died, Semper Fi Dad.
I'm still a fledgling to all this really, barely have my head out of my closet. But recently I have been given a different outlook on things. I just reread my post and didn't mean to drag on about this, lol looks like I might have Father issues also. I am centainly no authority on the matter. I just thought that my View from "The Other side of the fence" might be a different look on this. If nothing else I feel better for getting it off my Breast..... oops I mean Chest.
Now before I go any further please understand that I was still in denial about myself dressing, still totally ashamed of myself and my fealings. I had not yet even come close to dealing with my issues.
Anyhow, it was a quite day with me and my Dad just talking and doing small jobs to pass the time. That's when she came in. A tall gal that I imediatly Read. I waited on her and recall being very short and to the point Buisness Buisness Buisness. I was mortified, yes you read that right I was mortified. ???!!! I almost felt that I was being read! Very strange. Maybe it was me having to help this gal with my Father watching, who knows how the mind works really. I noticed that she talked to my Father for a moment, allthough I never heard the exchange. I rang her up and she left. My Father nor I ever said a word.
Now fast forward about 8 or 9 years. I have just come to terms about myself I have found the forums and started interacting with Girrls online, meet some great gals and started posting my pics ect. ect. I'm in the chat room and meet a girrl that lives in the town right next to mine. Now I live in Alaska......this is not common here (so I thought). I panicked for a second or two LOL it's kinda funny now really. We chatted and were getting along smashingly. She had just finished Transitioning and was big into helping local girrls. I worked out a chance to meet her at her home.
I drove there with no fear (in boy mode, hey I'm working on the going out dressed thing, I swear
), met her and had a great time! It was one of the best moments of my CD life. While chatting with her I told her what I did for a living. At that moment she reconized me immediatly as the boy behind the counter. We chatted a bit about it. She told me she had just recently started her Transition at that time. I appologized for possible being rude at that time (I still feal bad about not being more pollite to this day). I also learned what she said to my Father that day. She had commented on a picture that my Dad had on the wall. A picture in remembrance of the Marines in Viet Nam (A very strong & emmotional pic for those that were there, I have learned). She had been a Marine there (God Bless her for that). She said he (my Father) was short with her, all buisness lol (the family way of dealing with things).
This gal later turned out to be the first person, besides my wife, to know me as Cami & her Brother. I owe her so much. She calls me Cami or Cam & I just addore her for that. She looks in my Brother's eyes but see's Cami.
She gave me something that day we meet (besides a kick Butt pair of Forms
). She gave me ammo against my Dad if and when I ever tell him (or he finds out) about Cami. Everyone is different in some way or another,but we're just people like everyone else. That Mechanic that works in the pit next to you and busts his knuckle might be bummed about how the scab will clash with his nails later. Maybe your Son who just helped you Roof the new garage, who knows he can't were a short skirt for a week or two because his shins are bruised from helpping. Even Marines who fought and died, Semper Fi Dad.I'm still a fledgling to all this really, barely have my head out of my closet. But recently I have been given a different outlook on things. I just reread my post and didn't mean to drag on about this, lol looks like I might have Father issues also. I am centainly no authority on the matter. I just thought that my View from "The Other side of the fence" might be a different look on this. If nothing else I feel better for getting it off my Breast..... oops I mean Chest.
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Beauty
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Cami
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TY Beauty.
After thinking on it for a bit I just remembered a story a friend of mine, that has been dressing for a while, told me the other day of a similar situation of being rude to a TG earlier in life. She to had the oppertunity meet that person later also.
Could it be that scared CD's are the worst at being Rude thinking to cover our own butts? Is this common? Anyone else have a simular experience?
After thinking on it for a bit I just remembered a story a friend of mine, that has been dressing for a while, told me the other day of a similar situation of being rude to a TG earlier in life. She to had the oppertunity meet that person later also.
Could it be that scared CD's are the worst at being Rude thinking to cover our own butts? Is this common? Anyone else have a simular experience?
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Beauty
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Sally
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Getting 'read'
I agree Beauty,
I know of a Policeman here who had a reputation for going out of his way to arrest or hassle Gay people or anyone from the Tg community, but guess what? Yep, you guessed it, it was later discovered after he retired that he was a CD himself, when he was caught stealing under wear from clothes lines. Whether they do this because of jealousy that others can go public or whatever, it's all too common.
I can also cite the case of a Magistrate who had a reputation for handing out the most severe sentences to people who appeared before him when it was revealed they were Gay or TG, they always attracted a greater punishment for whatever offence they were charged with, more so than others did for identical offences, and guess what? Yep, you got it again. The Police eventually caught him in a public toilet committing sexual acts with other men.
I could go on and on with similar instances, but you get the drift.
All is not always as it seems in this world of ours.
Kind Regards.
Sally.
I know of a Policeman here who had a reputation for going out of his way to arrest or hassle Gay people or anyone from the Tg community, but guess what? Yep, you guessed it, it was later discovered after he retired that he was a CD himself, when he was caught stealing under wear from clothes lines. Whether they do this because of jealousy that others can go public or whatever, it's all too common.
I can also cite the case of a Magistrate who had a reputation for handing out the most severe sentences to people who appeared before him when it was revealed they were Gay or TG, they always attracted a greater punishment for whatever offence they were charged with, more so than others did for identical offences, and guess what? Yep, you got it again. The Police eventually caught him in a public toilet committing sexual acts with other men.
I could go on and on with similar instances, but you get the drift.
All is not always as it seems in this world of ours.
Kind Regards.
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
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Cami
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Being Accepted
As I read these various posts, I find myself nodding in the affirmative to most of what has been written, which makes me wonder if I am being too agreeable, or what. Surely I must disagree with something! On the one hand, I think that if you go out and are recognized as not being a genetic female, that is not a terrible thing. You can make a good impression on people, even if they realize that you are a CD, and (as Rikki and others have said so eloquently) this is a positive outcome, because it increases the chances that the next CD will be accepted, even if they are “read.” After all, the ideal situation would be to be accepted for who I am, not just because I look feminine.
On the other hand, I do try my best to look feminine. On occasion, I think I get away with it, especially if I am dressed casually and am not doing anything that attracts attention to myself. Am I being hypocritical to try to look like a woman, even if I claim that being perceived as one is not my principal goal?
Another factor that adds ambiguity is that the times when I am dressed every day for several days in a row, all day long, are when I am at a conference such as the En Femme Getaway or the Southern Comfort Conference. In a setting like either of those, everyone you see in a restaurant, in the hotel lobby, or almost anywhere else knows that there is a big TG event occurring, so you are almost automatically “read,” no matter how well you make a feminine presentation. (If you turned out to be a GG, they would be surprised or even stunned!) When all is said and done, I think the healthiest attitude is to recognize that we have certain feelings and certain gifts. We should try to enjoy those feelings and gifts, to respect others for being who they are, and to seek acceptance for ourselves and for all categories of the human race. If we contribute to the world in some way, and behave as good citizens and good neighbors, we are doing our part, and we deserve to be accepted.
On the other hand, I do try my best to look feminine. On occasion, I think I get away with it, especially if I am dressed casually and am not doing anything that attracts attention to myself. Am I being hypocritical to try to look like a woman, even if I claim that being perceived as one is not my principal goal?
Another factor that adds ambiguity is that the times when I am dressed every day for several days in a row, all day long, are when I am at a conference such as the En Femme Getaway or the Southern Comfort Conference. In a setting like either of those, everyone you see in a restaurant, in the hotel lobby, or almost anywhere else knows that there is a big TG event occurring, so you are almost automatically “read,” no matter how well you make a feminine presentation. (If you turned out to be a GG, they would be surprised or even stunned!) When all is said and done, I think the healthiest attitude is to recognize that we have certain feelings and certain gifts. We should try to enjoy those feelings and gifts, to respect others for being who they are, and to seek acceptance for ourselves and for all categories of the human race. If we contribute to the world in some way, and behave as good citizens and good neighbors, we are doing our part, and we deserve to be accepted.
Take care,
Jamie Ann
Jamie Ann
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Beauty
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