45 years of marriage ended today I believe

[Absaroka]

Rony I'm still unclear about your wife's drinking.

Zari

[Rony]

DonnaT
I appericate the link, and book suggestion.
I'm going to get the kindle version for my Iphone.
Thank you
ronnie

[Rony]

Zari
She has developed this method of drinking, she starts in the afternoon wine and seven-up, mostly 7up, years ago (30 i guess) it was a joke.
"I always cook with wine" That didn't mean it went in the food.

Around dinner it will get a little heavier on the wine, then dinner is over and it back to seven-up with wine. Were talking about a 7 or 8 hour period

Once she has her first drink no matter, she will not drive, if she goes to lunch with her friend and she is driving no wine for her. She has an envolope on the back of the cupboard door with cab money if someone should need to go to the hospital in a no emergency situation.

Again please let say my wife is a very caring person, this devil is only point at me, She feels this a destroyed her life. I'm not really doing a very good job of explaining this.

Ronnie

[Anthony Simon]

We are both getting older and loosing people we love, first she lost her mother and best friend to alzheimer’s decease (Sp) then we lost my mother (the evil MIL), father, and step-father, we were close to both of them, then in October 09 her father passed.
She keeps saying I’ve chosen this over her.

FWIW, when I read your post (and others) I had an instinct that the death of your wife's father is the problem. It's terrible how you keep losing people, one after another, like this. But, for daughters, the death of their father has a particular weight.

It may be nothing, but it occurs to me that her accusation that you've chosen the CDing over her, may in part be a cry for help. That is she may feel that she could do with you relating to her in a womanly manner rather than wearing the clothes (and "expressing your female side" like that). What I mean by that is she wants you to emotionally hold her - take her pain over the loss of her parents and the others so that she can be enabled to deal with their deaths. If that were so, she would want you to draw her out on this subject.

I don't know that this is right at all - and you may well have already done all this stuff. But it's the (poor) best I can come up with.

[April Rose]

Rony, what Anthony says makes a lot,of sense to me.

[Absaroka]

Rony what you are telling me is that she is at least partly intoxicated most days. I don't see how she can be dealing with things in a rational adult manner in that state, and I'd say her therapist is failing miserably to address this.

[Rony]

Well, my SO got in to see a psychologist.
He told her I have an addiction, and it isn’t going to go away.
He insists she go to Amazon and fined a 5 star book on cross-dressing and read it before her next appointment.
Any good suggestions.
I’ve read “My husband Betty”, I would not suggest this one, unless I can cut out about half the chapters.
You wouldn’t believe the stuff I’m finding on Amazon, mostly Cr#$p, not anything I would suggest she read. I still think the stuff on Dixie’s site is the best hope.
My SO believes it is sick men don’t wear women’s underwear, or Bra’s, or skirts.
The part I have the biggest problem with is she says she does not trust me anymore , for all the years she worked I never took one dime of her income, nor did I ask her to contribute to maintaining the house. I’ve never touched one dime of the money she got from her father or the property she inherited.
I’ve told her if you feel this way take my name off those accounts and make our son heir to the accounts.
I’ve never stopped off at the bars on my way home, or had an affair.
I never spend or purchased large ticket items without discussing it first.
I’m saddist about the fact that I truly do fined VanityFair much more comfortable to wear, crossdressing aside. I hate these tighty whites.
Ronnie

[DonnaT]

California is a "community property state", so don't do anything rash before checking out the laws.

As for the book, I've heard good things about Peggy Rudd's book "My Husband Wears My Clothes"
http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Wears-Clo ... B005SHD31I" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[KimberlyS]

The problem with any book is only part of it will be relate able to you as an individual as we are each so different. This the one of the problems my ex had is everything she read on CDing I got accused that was who I was and what I wanted to do with my CDing. But she has a lot of other issues dealing with reality. I hope it works out better for you.

If she is seeing a good psychologist there is hope there helping your wife see that CDing is not a bad thing it is just who we are.

Good luck.

[Rony]

Donna
Thank you, That was the one I was looking at thank you again for confirming that as what books are available that shows some hope.
Ronnie

[Ginny Jones]

Rony - I have just read through this thread and am really touched by the situation you are in.

I find myself resonating with something Anthony said about loss and it occurs to me that at a time when she has suffered so many losses it may feel unbearable for her to be "losing you to cross dressing". It may feel that she is being left on her own! Now whilst that isn't the truth - that may never the less be how she is construing it

I hope this makes sense.

You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the best.

Hugs Ginny x

After posting this I found myself really noticing that if there is any truth in the above, it feels important to acknowledge how you must be feeling like this too. So many losses for you both - and struggling to find the people you love for support. My thoughts really are with you and I hope you manage to find each other. Gx

[Rony]

Giselle,
My SO's position is we are married in name only.

Donna
I went with Dr. Rudd's book. My wife is reading it selectively. and says she is sorry, she will not ever except it in this house.
It seems everyone medically she has spoken to has said it is an addiction, never goes away. I've got a problem, on and on.
I just keep going, it is gettin so I dread coming home from work, as I know I'm going to hear rthe same thing night after night.

thanks to all for the support.

Ronnie

[Millie]

I'm sorry to hear that Rony. Its a shame that your marriage has to end because you're being yourself. As for myself, after 22 years of marriage, I told my wife I was a CD. I was expecting the same response as what you got. To my surprise, she was very accepting and she encouraged me to be myself. In fact it has made us much closer. She now expects Millie to be around the house a lot.

I hope you can resolve your issues with your wife. Its hard to be what someone expects you to be. You can't be happy that way. Good Luck.

[Absaroka]

Rony I am really sorry to hear things are going so badly, although I have expressed my thoughts on other aspects of your dilemma before and won't repeat them.

As for books, I liked Normal by Amy Bloom. It has one very long chapter (about a third of the book) devoted to crossdressing, and distinguishes it from transexuals, which occupy most of the rest of the book. I found the entire thing a good read, but you could just present the one chapter.

[Rony]

Well, I have an appointment to discuss my problem with physcologist :-(
June 5th. The only good thing is I can talk to someone face to face and not be concerned of the out come. I hope.
All my SO's Dr.'s tell her I have and addiction and will never give it up.

Have good night all
Ronnie