Complimenting a total stranger ( a GG ) on her looks

[Henriette]

Today, while moving about my business, I came across 2 ladies. Both I do not know from anywhere.

But what really struck me was the fact that both of these ladies were exceptionally well dressed. What would be the reaction a GG would have if a total stranger walks up to her and says " Excuse me Miss, but you really look good today" or "I love your dress/shoes/skirt/top"

Just curious, in today's age and times

Thank you

Henriette

[Melyssa Anne]

Well -- from my experience, I have had total strangers (mostly women) compliment me on my outfit, my necklace (or other jewelry), my shoes, even my hair style.... and it always makes my day -- nothing like a compliment to brighten your day. I have done the same enfemme and a few times in drab. I have found it is very widely accepted for women to compliment each other, and so I do so when it is warranted.

In drab I am much more careful of the circumstances and the person I am complimenting. Talking about this with my wife, it seems to be in the presentation and the circumstances or it can come off as blatant flirting or be kind of creepy---but when done with the right attitude, etc., it is possible to do it appropiately.

I will also tell you it was a littel weird the first time a man complimented me on how I looked. Nice, but just a different thing to get my mid around.

[Melyssa Anne]

and I aplogize for responding in the dear GG section...but thought my experiences were pertinent to the question asked.....

[Elizabeth]

Hi girls,

I agree, I compliment women all the time of their fashion and I receive compliments as well. That is where I learned it. Stuff like "cute shoes" or "your nails look great" or "I love that dress". All pretty common. Men rarely compliment girls on the little things, so we do it among ourselves.

My only rules are, I don't flatter people. Unless I really like something or really think someone looks nice, I don't say so. The other rule is to try not to look shocked when I receive a compliment. Also girls tend to be a lot more touchy/feely. They will grab your clothes or your earrings or whatever they are talking about, as they compliment those items. Show genuine interest in them.

Now, I may be totally wrong and out of place on this, so I guess we will wait for the GG to chime in. But that is how I handle it.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Anita]

Hi Henriette--
Dressed as a woman, I can give and receive compliments without any problems. While endrab, which is what you're asking about, I'm not sure I've ever come across any circumstances where I, personally, felt comfortable complimenting a woman who didn't know me. It just seems that it's not going to feel complimentary.

It strikes me that women may not like everything about what I call the "Hey baby!" approach, either, but at least they understand that--it's more blatant and expected. (You know, whistles from construction workers, that type of thing.) The women I know are annoyed by it, and at the same time, they do like the attention if it's not totally obscene.

But the sincere compliment is hard to handle, probably because there's no model for it. What kind of man would do that? They don't know, because they seldom if ever experience it. So I'd have to think they're more suspicious of it.

Hey, let's hear from a GG. We've got our opinions--but they're the ones who can really answer the question.

[Georgia(SO)]

Hi Henriette -

I think it all depends on how you phrase the compliment - and then it will still depend on how the woman in question hears it. Something like "You look really good today" is very likely to come across as a pick-up line, regardless of whether you are dressed as a man or a woman.

Something more focused and less pick-upish might be, as you are standing in line somewhere, you say something like "Nice shoes". Notice the use of "nice", not "cute". I can't quite describe why they are different, but they are. Perhaps "cute" is more appropriate for friends to say to one another, nice is more ambiguous. Again, this is if you are standing in line somewhere, or on the elevator or something *and* have been there long enough to notice them, etc. If you just happen to pass someone on the street, and you are both walking along minding your own business, I think that it would be inappropriate to say something - she's minding her own business, thinking whatever thoughts she's thinking, and a comment could be received as an interruption or breaking personal space. Frankly, it would make me wonder how long you had been watching me and that would be a little wierd. But on the elevator, in a line somewhere, that's a bit different and would probably be ok.

My 2 cents worth at 7AM after an all-nighter trying to put a report together!
-georgia(so) - who may just be daft at this point, so you might wait to hear from some of the other GGS.

[Absaroka]

I'm the sort of guy that people look at and then lock their car doors so I have to remember that in a question like this.

First it depends on the setting. Are you around a lot of people where the woman would feel safe? Also what is the situation? Waiting in line for several minutes together is one thing and casually walking past someone on the sidewalk is another.

Often there are times when we interact pleasantly with strangers, such as the aforementioned waiting in line. These are the times that such a comment might be okay.

Then there are a question of who is the woman? Is she someone I might normally talk to? A 55 year old man complimenting a 16 year old girl is one thing, and complimenting a woman my own age is another.

There have been times when the comment just naturally came out of me. I remember one time being in a store with a woman with big furry boots and after a minute I spontaneously said "I really like your boots" and my compliment was very well recieved. Another time I was behind a woman in a store who wore a shirt saying "The African woman is the mother of humanity" I told her I really liked her shirt and asked where she got it. Again it was very well recieved and we talked for several minutes.

One of the common threads here was that both women were wearing clothing that made some sort of a statement, although the shirt was more obvious than the boots. And because of that I was doing far more than commenting on their clothing.

Absaroka

[Anita]

Hi Absaroka--
Those examples seem valid to me, and I wouldn't have a problem saying the same thing. The big furry boots are something either gender would wear, for one thing, as is the shirt. And shirts with statements of any kind invite comments anyway. I've done that, and I didn't think of it as complimenting a woman on her clothing choice. It was just talking politics.

But I can see that if it's more woman-only clothing, then it becomes more iffy. Here's where my female identity shows up, I see. Complimenting women on their clothing is one of those "barrier" issues I used to run up against, as a man. My post-op friend Lauren said it very well the other night:
"I got tired of being a 'sensitive man.' I wanted to be part of the club."

So did I, and presenting as a woman was the only way I could get over that barrier. So I'm not gonna say that every woman is comfortable with my galself, but I can tell that it makes a difference, and it allows me to feel comfortable saying, "I like that shade of purple" to a total stranger.

[Leeza]

I have compilamented SAs on the jewlery they were wearing or the way their hair was done and have them act like they appreciated it. Often though it was brought up in the conversation and not right at the first.

Leeza

[Letitia_Jolie_GG]

Happened to me a few times; it made my day

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

erm its ok i guess. kinda flattering. I'll compliment a friend onbhis or her outfit if i actually like it. random stranger? I'm hitting on them LOL.

[Vieja]

As I grow older it seems that I tend to speak without thinking more often. I was shopping in Albertson's and as I came around the corner

of an aisle I found myself face to face with a lovely woman of about 70. She was wearing a beige suit, white blouse and low heel shoes that

I only noticed as she walked away. My response was without thought and I said "you're gorgeous". She looked at me for a moment then

said thank you and walked away. I wish I could have thought of something more to say, who knows we might have become friends.


Vieja

[Liz S (SO)]

I'll admit that there is a double standard on this.
If a woman that I don't know comes up randomly and compliments me, it does make my day. It puts and instant smile on my face, and I don't think anything strange about it.
Now, on the flip side, if a man that I don't know comes up and compliments me randomly, my thoughts are that he is either trying to sell me something, or that it's kind of pick up line.

[Lori Q.]

I have had good results and bad results. Sometimes the woman will be very cool about it and smile and say thank-you. Sometimes they will even say what they are wearing and where they buy it etc. Other people are kind of snotty and look at me like I am from another planet. I guess it just depends on the person but I will not stop complimenting just because there are a few people that I think are weird.