Heather Gail's beginnings

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Mon May 03, 2004 10:18 am

Oh, I guess I started in the "typical" way as so many others...I did find that it peaked and ebbed through the years as did the others as well. I'm rather tall and thin and had less than masculine features, and it didn't take all that much to look passable and since I worked out of the house about half the time and my wife would be out, I could dress for a few hours at a time when she was out. I really surprised myself as to how good I looked, and preferred to wear short skirts/dresses with rather high heels for some reason...I hid all the stuff from her so she had no idea either. I could wear those heels for hours and they'd never hurt, so I couldn't understand why my wife would complain all the time about having to wear heels and pantyhose...I loved them and would be so envious of her. Well, that's the story...

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon May 03, 2004 7:35 pm

Hi Heather,

Thanks for posting you beginnings here.

It's great to hear your story.

Beauty

Josey · Post by **Josey** » Tue May 04, 2004 8:27 am

Hello Heather,

You were lucky to have been alone and able to dress. I agree with you about the heels. Also, the bra is another thing like that. My SO couldn't wait to get hers off after work and I couldn't wait to put one on! )))))

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Tue May 04, 2004 8:42 am

Yes, Josey, I know exactly how you feel. My SO always complains about her bra and how it is so uncomfortable and how men have it so much better that they don't have to wear one! I laugh to myself when she says that because she has no idea how many times I've worn it and how good and natural it feels on me...one time after we got home from a wedding and we were changing, she took off her pantyhose and complained about having to wear a pair to the wedding with her heels. I glibly remarked that it couldn't have been that bad and she just looked at me and said, "You should try it sometime then"...I was ready to say sure, I'll do it now, but decided that she wouldn't have appreciated that remark. Besides, her heels are too small...I would have had to go get a pair of mine that were stashed away!

Josey · Post by **Josey** » Tue May 04, 2004 2:05 pm

Hi Heather,

Not a good idea to go get those heels if your wife doesn't know.

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Tue May 04, 2004 2:15 pm

Oh Josey, I was VERY discreet...that's one thing I've become very adept at over the years!

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Tue May 04, 2004 9:59 pm

Hi Heather,
I liked your story. It must be great to be able to dress so frequently. I don't have that luxury.

Thanks for sharing here,
Hugs,
Kyra

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Wed May 05, 2004 4:53 am

Hi Kyra...yes, it's nice to be able to "dress" on those occasions, but it's also quite "empty" for me as I feel trapped in the house (other than the other evening when I was alone and able to go out for a few hours). I'm sure those of you who don't have understanding SOs understand what I'm saying. And there are times when I feel as though she's somehow looking over my shoulder and that takes away from the feelings as well. But I'm at a point where this will be discussed and addressed and though it will take time, I'm certain that I can explaind myself and my desires to her.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Wed May 05, 2004 5:02 am

Hi Heather,

I do have an accepting wife, but the house does feel like a prison at times. I know I can't go out of those doors and be seen and thought of as "Oh, that's just Beauty. Hi Beauty!"

When I first started CD'ing outside of the house I grew up in I felt trapped because I'd never buy shoes.

Now I have the shoes, but I still keep myself trapped inside the house, except for support meetings.

It really is great having you here Heather. I hope you continue to post. It always amazes me how much I learn by all of the unique experiences.

You'd think after all of these posts I would have heard it all, but every day I think I'm less and less alone by reading the posts of others who are like me. (Crossdressers)

Beauty

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Wed May 05, 2004 5:56 am

Hi Beauty...thank you very much for the kind words...you are so lucky to have an accepting wife! I wish that was the case for me. I had written how I was able to finally go out en femme the other night when she was away for the weekend and it felt so good, so natural. Well, today is one of those days where I can work from home and she'll be out for a few hours and I can hardly wait to get "dressed"...the problem I have is after going out the other night I'll be back in the same old situation. I really enjoyed putting on all the makeup and accessories, doing my nails and looking as good as possible, but I just can't do that while at home for those precious few hours. It will feel a bit empty for me, but I have to accept what I have for the time being. For some reason I have no inhibitions anymore about buying women's clothing and nowadays, (at least where I am) the cashiers just don't even look funny at you anymore! (Gives you an idea as to just how many of "us" there may be out there). So on Sat. before I went out, I went and bought a very pretty "spring" dress that I could wear at home today...I tried it on at home and it just looked so nice that I almost cried...well I'll wear that today at home and "long" for the next time I can go out...

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu May 06, 2004 10:11 pm

Heather Gail,
My sisters here have "accused me" of being brave, gutsy, etc. I can only tell you what I did. After reading a lot of posts, like yours, and please understand there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you and many of our sisters here choose to handle their domestic situations, I took the position that I was not going to "live in fear" of getting caught." I loved this "new" me that was emerging, the feminine feelings, thinking, even the desire to dress, so I took a couple of short articles of the web and sitting in the car after I picked her up from work, I told her I was a CrossDresser, and before she could respond I gave her the articles to read and asked her to think about this before she reacted. I will not go into the details of where we are now (in counselling but still together) anyway my point is that I and it is just me - I refused to live in fear of "getting caught." What I have read from a lot of the SO who post here is that the one thing that really hurt them was the not being told! You, however know your own situation better than anyone else, so I would recommend you read some of the posts by the SO's and even ask them questions. God Bless you and good luck with what ever decision you make.
Love,
Deborah

Heather Gail · Post by **Heather Gail** » Fri May 07, 2004 6:11 am

Thank you very much Deborah, your post is very thought provoking and it certainly gives me more of a "push" to do something about my situation. Yes, everyone's own personal situation is unique to them, as is mine, so I do have to consider all the ramifications...my children especially. My desire to "dress" has ebbed and waned through the years, but it has picked up considerably over the past few months for reasons that I still cannot fathom. I have found that I can live this way and had accepted it to date, but going out the other night for the first time seemed to profoundly change my mindset and situation. But this is something I have to "engage" in my own mind as I determine the best course of action for me and my family...you all have been so supportive...thanks, Heather