Gelinda's Beginnings

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Thu May 20, 2004 7:39 pm

Well, I am not good at talking about myself as Diane is. It started for me in high school, I use to keep the girls underwear after those fun back seat times in the very early 70's. Had a collection, some time in that time frame I decided to try them on. Liked them better than the ones I wore all time. But could not do it for my Mom would know. When I was in the military, I thought about once or twice but never did. Was in the fall of Saigon in 74 with Rangers so there was no way to do it then.

Have been married for 24 years coming up on the 30th of this month to the most wonderful woman in the world. She knows nothing. I have for years when she has been gone put on some of her things so that there is no way to get caught. I have two kids one of each type. an one Grandchild as of Feb.

I have a very weird working world. I work in KY and my family is in Texas. I go home once a month (Driving). So it has come in the last month this way. But as what I do for a living and because of the grandchild and my daughter in law problems that I am alone in KY. Only been in KY for 3 months. I was in NE before that doing what I do. Was there for 2 and half years alone.

I have only started coming to grips with the CD thing. I have done it while living alone. And as Diane stated I am more comfortable en femme clothes but with the window shades drawing and the doors closed. I do not have any normal outer wear as I can't seem to find the right sizes for the under things. So I am at a cross roads as to wear I want to go.

I hate hiding from the wife but It would kill me if see decided to leave me or even think about it. I would always hide it from the kids but I do not want to from the wife. But after reading some of the fears of the SO's on these boards I am not sure if I want to tell her or not.

Boy I have not written this much ever. Just ask my mom when I was in Nam. Gelinda.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri May 21, 2004 2:02 am

Good morning Gelinda,

First let me personally thank you for serving our country.

That's awesome and I have the utmost respect for risking your life for us.

Your beginnings story was incredible and important. I think it was important how the story focused on telling your wife. There are lots of lurkers (those who don't join, but view the board) who feel the way you do.

24 years of marriage and you haven't told your wife. Ouch. I say ouch because I have the knowledge that you've read the SOs section and you know their reactions are two fold. One is that they are sometimes appalled at the thought of their husbands wearing female attire. The second is they are hurt because they thought their husbands trusted them. After they find out they have a hard time accepting anything their hubby says as the truth (usually for a short while).

I honestly can't advise you one way or the other because your relationship is special and only you know what's right. I hope one day that you probe enough to find out what she would think and that are able to reveal your life to her. Some women never recover from it, but those who do stay end up understanding why their husbands kept it a secret for so long.

I wish you the best and thanks for sharing a very open and honest beginnings story with us.

Beauty

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Fri May 21, 2004 3:27 am

I echo a good morning to you Gelinda,

I am going to go one step further than Beauty, and tell you that very very few people are capable of keeping this hidden from there wives forever. So you not only have the worry of how she will react to the CDing, but how she will handle the dishonesty. when she does find out. That is a tough place to be I know, but never the less it is some thing you need to process.

Caroline · Post by **Caroline** » Fri May 21, 2004 4:23 am

Hello Gelinda,

Thank you for sharing your story with us; that took courage.

Being in the Rangers at the fall of Saigon in 74 also took courage.

At this point, I have to agree with what Darlene said, but personally I think your wife is likely to feel worst about the dishonesty aspect of the situation, as that is likely to be the very bedrock on which her relationship with you is founded.

Telling her about your crossdressing will take more courage than anything you have encompassed before.

I'm afraid that I cannot advise you one way or the other on this, as it has to be your decision, but I hope that ultimately things work out well.

I'm sorry that I can't give you more comfort than this.

Take care, and kind regards,

Caroline.

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Fri May 21, 2004 4:58 pm

Thanks Ladies, I am going to tell I think. But she is going thru the life change right now so I will wait a little while. It is true that we have always been open with each other hardly no secrets but But BUT.

I have always told my Wife there are some secrets that I can't tell her and there are some military ones. She believes that they are all military and they are except for the cd thing. Reason she believes that they are all military I still have nightmares and flashbacks at times.

So I have been telling her lately that I am going to have to tell her my secrets getting her ready or maybe getting me ready not sure which. Gelinda

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri May 21, 2004 9:17 pm

Hi Gelinda,
I was a naval aviator (F-8's); but Rangers - that's heavy duty too!
I have to concur with my sister, Darlene, and I hope you understand that most spouses are more hurt by the deception rather than the act itself. I would imagine that you and I are close to the same age and it was just recently that "Deborah" made herself much more prominent in my life. This site has been a blessing to me and the girls are marvelous as you will find out. Anyway after much reading and studying I decided that I was not going to "live in fear of getting caught" so I printed off a couple of articles about crossdressing that I found and after picking her up from work one evening I told her, I put a very positive spin on it that is was simply my "female side" expressing itself, the compassion, empathy, easyness, love, understanding coming out in the form of female expresssion. We are still together and everyday she accepts it a little bit more with the codicile that she does not want to meet Deborah. I respect her wishes and we are growing closer and she says she can see a lot of "positive" changes in me (my anima/female personna) coming out.
I am not saying that you should tell your wife that's your decision. But take advantage of the girls here because most of us have our stories to tell and hopefully you can put your own strategy together that will meet you and your wife's needs. God Bless you and keep us posted on how its going.
Love ya,
Deborah

Barbra · Post by **Barbra** » Sat May 22, 2004 5:48 am

I know exactly how because your story sounds a lot like mine. I think you should tell your wife because dishonesty will destroy a marriage quicker. You say you have been married 24 years so there must be love in that marriage and love will cover a multitude of things. Just be honest, she may not like it but she consider a lot of things before she will deception.
This is only my opinion so You have to decide on your own.
Love,
Barbra Carolyn

Joanna_S · Post by **Joanna_S** » Sat May 22, 2004 6:17 am

Hi Gelinda!

I sincerely hope, you´ll find the courage to tell your wife about your CDing. I told my girlfriend after 2 years dating and that was absolutely the hardest moment of my life. Luckily she didn´t run away but accepted me as I am. If I hadn´t told her, I´m sure we would´ve been separated sooner or later.
All the best to you and your wife.

Joanna