Re-tired people shopping - beware

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 10:24 pm

At the risk of repeating myself - repeating myself - repeating myself, this is too good not to repost if I have already done so. Of course, the real reason is that it reminds me of a retired friend who is prone to strike up conversations with total strangers, and who thinks she is channeling her mother who used to do the same thing.

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chowFor my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's
rear and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:08 am

Absolutely hilarious! I laughed so hard that I was crying!!!

- SL

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:06 am

One of my friends was in Pet Smart buying cat food and litter. There were several other people on the aisle trying to decide what to buy for their owners. So she picked up a can and asked,

"Have you tried this yet? I find it spreads best on crackers and tastes really yummy!"

The aisle quickly cleared after a few furtive looks in her direction!!

She didn't even get the chance to tell them it was a joke!!

Joan · Post by **Joan** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:59 pm

Brilliant and very funny Carolynn