being realistic about my choices

[Conie Sue]

i hear alot about counseling and drs. to help you figure out whats wrong with us ! thats a crock and they know it. i beleive we are what we are and that there are no answers for it just , all it takes is acceptance on thier part it's wrong to try to make a person change to be who you think they should be. it's like being left or right handed what makes the differance. it only what you make of it in your own mind that matters,soon or later i have come to terms with my right to wear what clothes i want as long as i don't infringe on anybody elses rights, so when i come home i may like to wear dress or a skirt ,hi heels or sneakers it's okay to be who i am where i am ! yes i wear pantys and pantyhose everyday all day because i like to and when i get home yes i may get dolled up, and bed time a babydoll nity pantys and hose a must . because thats me. to thy own self be true!! thanks for being here! love it take care

[Loretta Ann]

Conie Sue wrote; all it takes is acceptance on their part.

Well hon unfortunately it takes more than that, because that will never happen...Ever!!! "Nice fantasy though." As long as our happiness is dependant upon society's acceptance of us, we are giving them way to much power over us. we are in fact letting them control how we feel about ourselves.

Personally I don't want or need the masses acceptance, because the masses are the asses.

And that is the way I see it.

[Josey]

Hi Darlene,

You are so very right about the masses. The idea of going to an analyst or whatever has always sort of bugged me though. My parents made me go when I was a kid. Waste of time. I went again at the urging of my first wife. More wasted time.

Think about it. In both of these instances, I wasn't confused or disturbed. I knew who I was and what I wanted. I honestly believe it is those who can't accept us who need the help. Perhaps, they should go to an analyst.

[Loretta Ann]

Josey wrote:I honestly believe it is those who can't accept us who need the help. Perhaps, they should go to an analyst.

If we were ever able to have a perfect world, that is clearly what needs to happen.
But as fuuny as that sounds that is what would have to happen were we ever to find acceptance, but tell that to the masses, and you have got a fight on your hands. Go figure?

[Virginia]

Rock -On Josey!!!! and Conie Sue! Preach It Girls!!! Tell It lIke it IS!!
I went ot my first "shrink" at my wife's insistence and I flat told him on the first meeting who I was, that Ihad researched my CD'ing and I was quite happy with myself. He fecommended that my in-laws come in for counselling, but I had my head on straight! The current counselor that my wife and I go to (again not wanting to "rock the boat") has told my wife I have a gift in the ability to transgender and it really is a good thing. My wife has admitted to seeing some very positive things come out of my Cd'ing although she just does nont want ot meet Deborah (yet?)
You girls are so right though! If we know who we are, are happy with ourselves and ain't hurtin nobody- put the pedal to the metal and as one of our sisters' posted" "If you ain't livin on the edge - your takin up too much room!"
Love ya,
Deborah

[Karen Marie]

your so right connie sue.
i don't have much faith in therapists.i started
feeling better about myself when i accepted karen as an intergral
part of who i am.bunches of hugs,karen.

[Terry Gal]

> i hear alot about counseling and drs. to help you figure out
> whats wrong with us ! thats a crock and they know it.
.
I read once that Sigmund Freud's problem was that he defined
"normal" as whatever conformed to the values and customs of middle-
class Vienna at the beginning of the 20th century.
.
Not much has changed, has it? Only the date and the geography.
.
--Terry Gal

[Kersten Lee]

Hi Girls,

I am so pleased that all of you are ok and happy. Most of you are
aware of my issues. I have suffered with thoughts of suicide and
self hate since the fourth grade and before. My parents constantly
threatened me and made me to feel that I was going to hell. Nothing
was ever good enough for either of them. As a child, and older, I thought
I was those things and responsible. Now I know and feel that it's
not true about me. If what happened to me happened today, not all, but
most would be in jail for child abuse and I would have been in the
foster care system.

I started dressing in mothers clothes at 5. Dressing had nothing to do
with my anti-social behavior or abuse of my wonderful wife of 29 years.
I never knew friends or had friends because I believed in my soul that
I was so evil that I didn't deserve a friend. I never believed that anything
good should happen for me. Through all that, I still did fairly well in the
work place. To work harder than everyone else was the only way I knew
to feel better. I was a working nut, the center of my life since childhood.
I never partied, drank, did drugs or disobeyed my parents. I
never had any sexual escapades at all in high school. I was too busy
studying, and working for the family farm. And still I believed I was
truely evil.

29 years later,
I was on the verge of a breakdown and began to cry terribly in front of a
a woman acquaintance. She convinced me to see a therapist. That was
the best thing I have ever done in my life next to marrying my wife who
has kept me alive all these years. This woman therapist has given me my
life back. My cross dressing has become a positive thing that is
part of me. I have begun to love who I am, especially when in heels and
all femme. I have shown her clothes and shoes that I or my wife has
bought for me. Some items she loves and others she tells me she don't
care for and why. I have started the last couple months to wear sandals
in drab to our meetings. I wanted to show her my pretty toes with flower
designs and a glass jewel in the middle of the flower. OPI, Changing of the
Garnet, was the polish.

She smiled and told me that the toes were definitely me. I told her I was
worried that she might think it would reflect badly on her practice.
People in the lobby saw my toes. She told me she was happy that I
was happy being me. She said it was their problem if they didn't like my
toes. She has always only told me to be smart and be careful. She
doesn't want some crazy redneck harming me.

It could be she is rare in the therapy community. I would only caution
that there are those of us with deeper problems that can't be solved
with a strong resolve. When there is no self esteem there was nothing in
my will to lift me up. It could be we shouldn't lump all therapist and
doctors in the same catagory. As a cross dresser I sure to heck don't
want everyone who sees a child molesting cross dresser in the news to
believe that we are all evil perversions of nature. Yet that is how we are
viewed, probably by the majority.

The woman who got me to a therapist knows of my crossdressing. She
laughed in relief and said I thought you were going to tell me something
really terrible. I told her about going to a salon to have my nails done and
how much I enjoyed it. She said that's nice, it is fun and relaxing isn't it!
She will have her therapy license next fall. All isn't gloom and doom.

Two months back some national organization said that Nebraska was
the worst state in the Union for gays to live. They said we have more
closet homosexuals per capita than any other state. I don't know if the
numbers are true. How could anyone poll closet homosexuals or
cross dressers for that matter. Just a comment.

I care about you all,
Be Happy,

Kersten

[Jessie]

I just thought I would put my 2cents into the this thread. I to went to a theropist when I was young at my mom's instancite. Back then I thought as my dad did that it is a waste of time and money but back then I would often agree with father on everything and do what ever he told me to do in a deep feer that he would yell at me. He did a lot of that and I believe that is what my mom thought I should be discussing with theropist. But then what did I know. Now many years later I get panic attacks and have a deep worry about money though I have a good paying job and a savings and even a small amount in the stock market. But sometime I still get those panik atacks. Now with my new theropist (who I really like as he ask questions and talks withe me about the worries). But in all situatations it would be great if we could all be happy with how we are (I pretty much am) but then what type of world would this be if everything was perfect? Any way that is my 2cents.

Jessie

Ok maybe it's a buck fifty.