Genesis Take II

[Carolynn]

In the beginning, God created the world, the day and night, the land and water, the plants and animals.

Now, on the third day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the fourth day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And again, God saw it was good.

On the fifth day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the sixth day, (before he took his rest), God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Oh, and if you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch........

[CharLee]

I heard a different version of this;

God called all the creatures together one day and gave each one a total of 20 years of sex life.

The Monkey thanked God but said he only needed 10. Man spoke up and asked for the monkeys other 10 years. God granted mans wish.

The Lion also stated 10 years was enough, man spoke up again and asked for the lions other 10 years. God granted his wish again.

The Donkey too said 10 years was plenty, and once again man asked forthe donkeys other 10 years. God again gave man the 10 years.

The moral of the story is that men have 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lieing about it and 10 years of making an backside out of himself