Coping via shopping

[KimberlyS]

Today I had an errand to run at lunch time. I actually was making good time, got to the store, found what I wanted and paid in what seemed like record time. So I headed back to work thinking I would pick up something to eat at a new place I wanted to check out. Well as I got close I seen there was construction up ahead, so I took a quick turn to avoid it and realized I was going right by Dress Barn. Well I had time for a quick look like I do other times when I have a few extra minutes. Some cute new clothes but nothing at says take me home. Plus these are summer fashions which the sleeves are too short for my furry arms. So I usually do not find much to wear in summer fashions, but fun to look.

A quick look through the clearance and I see a cute dress I liked looking online. They are only 24.99, but like I need another dressy dress to just sit in my closet. But I keep looking for the fun of it and see some other cute dresses. All sleeveless or short sleeve. Then I see the sign on the other side of the rack that says buy two dresses, save $10. I came home with 3 dresses and a lacy shrug.

I came in the door tonight and told my wife I think I need some femme time. It has been a while since I have been able to get some out and about femme time. And when it is a while I tend to compensate by shopping. About a month ago I was on a bra shopping spree. And the dresses I got today and the bras I got go against my shopping rule of never buy unless I try on as a lot of the time I will regret it as it will not fit or look right on me. But it seems like when I do not get the out and about femme time I need, femme shopping becomes a need to replace it. I do not think about doing this, it just happens. So I need to schedule some femme time soon.

Does anyone else have any other similar coping mechanisms?

kimberlys - cd
joe in a skirt

[SilverLady(SO)]

Plus these are summer fashions which the sleeves are too short for my furry arms.

Why don't you just shave your arms and legs? Unless your male alter-ego resembles Sasquatch, I guarantee that hardly anyone will notice, much less comment on it. If they do comment, just say that it doesn't hold the sweat on your body nearly as much (which is totally true). Even chest and back hair can be shaved, if needed.

Virginia's male alter-ego has been keeping his arms and legs shaved for years, and no one has ever made a comment on it.

Sheesh, even this GG keeps her arms, legs and face shaved (part Italian, and I hate mustaches) . . . again, no one has noticed or commented.


So glad that you had a great time shopping, and I hope you get your Kimberly time soon!





- SL

[Davita]

Oh yeah. Kim. As much fem time as I get at home, I still need to get out. If I wait too long then I shop and it doesn't matter for what actually. "Back when," I used to wind up shopping in advance of a scheduled outing. It was like I couldn't wait and had to get out right then.

One thing you can do is go ahead and shop, but certainly don't take the tags off. Just let things rest in the closet for a few days before trying anything on. Simply shopping and getting something usually helps me. I am a lot more apt to return things when I have a clearer mind. It also means that if the timing is close to my fem days out, then I have a purpose when I am out, like returning things and shopping all over again.

[Eileen (SO)]

So a few extra minutes turned into a mini shopping spree! Focusing on the money saved misses the point of money spent. We are on a budget and when hubby wants girlie things, she has her own CC and pays with her allotted money. Same deal as I have. My dear hates shaving full arms and prefers 3/4 length sleeves.

I came in the door tonight and told my wife I think I need some femme time. It has been a while since I have been able to get some out and about femme time. And when it is a while I tend to compensate by shopping. About a month ago I was on a bra shopping spree. And the dresses I got today and the bras I got go against my shopping rule of never buy unless I try on as a lot of the time I will regret it as it will not fit or look right on me. But it seems like when I do not get the out and about femme time I need, femme shopping becomes a need to replace it. I do not think about doing this, it just happens. So I need to schedule some femme time soon.

So is shopping more or less costly than an evening out? Then again, no sense buying things and never wear them out of the house. Hugs to your lovely wife!

Eileen

[KimberlyS]

Unless your male alter-ego resembles Sasquatch, I guarantee that hardly anyone will notice, much less comment on it.

Well not quite Sasquatch, but I do have dark, course arm hair. I have tried shaving parts during the winter and it is noticeable and gets 5 o'clock shadow. With shorter sleeves i just trim my arm hair and think it is a better look. I have some shrugs to try to match with the sleeveless dresses that work good to blend the arm hair look.

Davita just needs to come take Kim out and about. Dress up and and nice dinner out on the town.

Eileen yea I understand the budget thing. I have been there in the past when going out and just paying for gas to do it was a joy. I am lucky now to have some more budget at this point.

[Requal Jo]

Same same Kim. Requal has not been out for awhile and she is now looking at the online clothing and thinking about "what should I buy".

[Ralitsa]

yeah I definitely using shopping to cope. Not so much because I don't get enough opportunity to wear clothes I like, because I do that all the time, but to cope with any other stressful thing. I am more deliberate about it though, and intentionally plan a shopping trip when I'm stressed. And to stay on budget, I tend to save shopping sprees for when I need one to cope.
When my kids went back to PA at the end of summer vacation I was pretty bummed. So I bought $450 of shoes, and $100 of new bras and panties. But I didn't just go randomly buy them, I took my time and really made sure to enjoy the time. And now I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it, I think back on it and am quite pleased about it.
So my only comment is that one shouldn't go shopping unless you really have the time to enjoy it and find something you love. That isn't to say you will never have to just stop off quick and pick up some nail polish or lipstick occasionally.
Coping by shopping is much more healthy than by drinking (and maybe less expensive) and it's certainly less expensive than all the damage to ones health from too much stress. I think there is nothing at all wrong with it.