Met on the Street in Gettysburg

[Rikki]

Last week, wifey and I traveled to Gettysburg to watch the annual Remembrance Day Parade (rain and high security another story). We split up to watch and as I was standing waiting for the parade to begin a reenactor stood next to me wearing a beautiful cage crinolined dress with a cape and golf umbrella (not period correct).

I turned to say high and mention the weather and could see easily that "she" was trans or a CD'er who was living my fantasy of dressing in 1860's garb, from corset on up. At first she only nodded in agreement obviously not wanted to use her voice. Slowly she began to answer my questions and converse about the day, reenacting and such. So much did I want to tell her I too had a hoopskirt hidden away at home. How much I would love to be there dressed like her. Openly admit that I too enjoyed the fashions of the 1860's. Ask her is she was a member of the Haven. Oh, what a coward I was.

Well following the parade she walked off toward town, the hem of her beautiful dress skirting the water in the streets. How I wish now I had given her my CD email address. What a lucky person she is and brave to present herself in such an environment (a lot of right-wing rednecks tend to be reenactors, I most of them are great people but don't know how "trans" accepting they would be.)

Well, that encounter made the day for me along with seeing many women (GG's) in beautiful gowns at dinner both nights.

Please don't yell at me, I know I'm a closet-chicken to the tenth degree.

Love you all,
Rikki

[KimberlyS]

Great interaction. I bet you made her day talking about her outfit with her. We are all at different points in our life and all do what we feel comfortable doing. Sounds like you had a fun day.

[Diana Michelle]

Please don't yell at me, I know I'm a closet-chicken to the tenth degree.

Why would anyone yell at you Rikki? We all have our lives to live and the fact you are closeted is just where you are now. That may change and it may not but there is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our reasons for what we do and must respect those for all. You have your comfort zone and never let anyone talk you into anything beyond that until you are ready for it.

It sounds like you had a fun day and I am sure you made the other girl's day as well.

[Eileen (SO)]

Rikki,

Stereotyping reenactors as right wing red necks is just wrong, more so in that you were talking with one cross dressed at the time! We know you're too chicken to give up your hidden desires, next time just compliment her on her dress. You never know what doors will open.

We had a similar experience at a Civil War reenactment. I didn't know about my husband's desires yet. One young lady was fliting around seeing all the sights while dressed for the period. I wondered at the time why hubby asked who she was. "Oh, that's Roberta, she follows us around." I assumed he was interested in her, while he was interested in her dress.
Talk about a big fat clue totally missed.

Eileen

[Rikki]

Eileen,

Point taken, sorry for using cliche' adjectives. I did compliment my new acquaintance on her dress and asked a several questions. Hope our conversation made her day as I watched her walk back to town alone.

(standing in corner with chin down),
Rikki

[Anthony Simon]

I had an experience lately in which I also saw a CD and didn't myself reveal I was one, though we talked. It was maybe a week ago and I'd just had a coffee and had unlocked my bike when I saw this figure, who appeared to be a man, wearing a short skirt and thick tights (it was cold). The person walked past as I did a kind of mental double take. I got on my bike and went on my way and was going past her. I felt compelled to stop and I thought "OK, I'm going to talk".

So I was checking out this person and observing her ensemble, but mostly I was looking at her face. As I opened my mouth to talk, making the words "Why are you wearing a skirt?", I saw her face take on a kind of androgynous appearance and I thought "Oh My God, I've made a terrible mistake. Maybe it's a woman after all". But then the person opened her mouth and it was obviously a male voice and I was relieved.

It was (evidently) a prepared defence - if women wear trousers, why shouldn't men wear skirts? To which I assented, saying I couldn't see why not - and then adding I'd done a mental double take and that's why I'd stopped. She seemed relieved and even pleased - and, at that point, the interaction seemed over and I got back on my bike and went.

I queried myself on why I didn't reveal I was a CD, but somehow there didn't seem a place for it. FWIW I've had a number of recent interactions, when I've been buying clothes where I've kind of felt pushed by the SA to assent to her view that I'm buying for a female partner and tend to go along with it. I won't outright lie, but apart from that...

I guess this is about mental lines. Lines people draw for themselves, to protect their comfort - and lines one is afraid one is crossing and getting into the comfort zones of others. The SAs seem more comfortable thinking of me just as a man - and, OK, it doesn't cost me that much to go along. The person I met in the street was obviously concerned she was crossing peoples' mental lines, upsetting their comfort zones - and that's why she had her defence available.

The two aggressive reactions from SA's I've had have been from religious people (one Muslim, the other Christian). So, on my limited experience, I'd say that religiously conservative people are more likely to be actively unaccepting of CDs than others. It's not a straightforward thing and people differ, but a CD upsets their comfort zone more easily than she does other people. It's a big question as to whether that extends to conservatives in general - but I would say that my general expectation from living in a liberal city like London, that this is the best sort of place for CDs (though still by no means perfect).

On the point about whether Civil War reenactors tend to be right wing, I don't know. But it is not implausible from a distance.