A really really outstanding article

[Anne Bonny]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... tereotypes" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

It explains who we are, and why we are as we are...inside. explains we can ...well read it...after I did I was jumping up and down figuratively I am now so much more condident about who I am! Masculine feelings would shake my confidence...but I am as I am because of ways I am similar to women inside...I am similar to men too in some ways...but the balance tips me to be as women are and I am like them in many ways....

[Annie]

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing.

[Anne Bonny]

In her longer article ARE TRANSGENDER WOMEN JUST REINFORCING STEREOTYPES, Dr Deborah Davis, Ph.D. a developmental psychologist she supports her arguments citing research and toward the latter part of the article I pulled out some key lines that were meaningful to me.  Over the past four decades, as our understanding of biology has increased and we've developed technology for brain imaging there is mounting evidence that male and female brains do develop and function differently, and that cultural norms simply reflect these inborn sex differences and gender-based tendencies. We're better off following the child's lead as to what his or her preferences and tendencies are. Preliminary research indicates that transgender people have the brain structure and function that is more typical of the gender they identify as. Simply put, a trans woman is born with male anatomy and a female brain; a trans man has female anatomy and a male brain. These misalignments are caused by differing hormonal influences in the womb that happen during the first and second trimesters, when anatomy (first) and brain development (second) occur. What's interesting is that the brain trumps anatomy when determining gender identity, indicating that we really do reside in our heads. Gender is a core sense of identity. The transgender person seeks acknowledgement and validation for being, not just dressing like, the other gender. You can encourage masculine or feminine behavior in children, but hormone exposure before birth determines whether they embrace or reject these influences. Gender identity is a biological, hormonal, brain-based phenomenon, and not just a social construct. These stereotypes are reflected in masculine and feminine archetypes...because they contain certain truths. Most people land somewhere between the extremes and can embrace both their masculine and feminine tendencies. Indeed some men are more nurturing or sensitive or talkative than some women; likewise, some women are more gruff or competitive or nonverbal than some men. Gender stereotypes, in and of themselves, are harmless generalizations that only become harmful when used as tools of oppression...derogatory comments, judgmental comments, or requiring conformity and even more so at a personal level when a parent insists a son be more "manly" or a daughter be more "girly", pushing against the child's natural tendencies. This new wave of civil rights is forcing us to examine our use of gender stereotypes, to open our minds, and to become more respectful and tolerant of gender nonconformity. People are less required to "fit in" or conform to gender stereotypes, as our society becomes ever more open and diverse. Unfortunately when a trans woman isn't super feminine, some people are confused by why she would go to the trouble of coming out, when she's not going "all out." Even when gender identity lines up with female anatomy, not all of those women go the whole distance. So why would we insist that trans women do? Perhaps as society tolerates more diversity of gender expression, all of us will become more free to express ourselves as however masculine or feminine we feel, without being obligated to go to the far ends of the spectrum or cave into stereotypes. You can start today, by simply being and accepting your true self, just the way nature and nurture made you. 



I really needed to hear this information because it can be very confusing even to we who are transgender. We know we are like others of our same sex in some ways...physically, and in certain tendencies while in other ways we may not always understand why we feel so much like the opposite gender inside our head...as those tendencies may not be in our present mind...such as our being more nurturing or sensitive or talkative. I had a career in Nursing! And I find it difficult at times to enforce discipline by having to confront people...I sometimes find it difficult to arrive at decisions because I want to discuss important decisions with people I respect before I can decide and feel comfortable and confident in my decision. I value being able to talk to others when making big decisions. I have found that I really do need and value having connections to others in my life so that I can share experiences with them.  I believe these in particular are ways in which I am more as women are than men who tend to be more confident and decisive, confrontational, and competitive and willing to take risks than I am. I am not really into competitive sport as in not being interested in finishing first, or near the top in the local running club I belong to...I am not there to compete...I am there more for fitness, for being with others, and prefer to run my pace. 



Hence at times...having a male body, and many male tendencies, having been raised to be a man...it is easy to stop myself and think I need to be in my male...what am I doing?...why am I doing this?...only to find myself drifting back into my female later and it is because of that part of who we are that tends to be as women tend to be in many ways. It is perhaps not correct to label myself "genderfluid." It has to do with simply being and accepting my true self just as nature and nurture made me. I do not have to "go the whole distance" expressing my gender, though I do desire that at times. I merely need to follow my own preferences and tendencies as I embrace my gender nonconformity celebrating and relishing the fact that I do fit in in some ways with men and in many more ways with women and that I am able to enjoy being who I am in my manner of expression and feel very fulfilled and excited by my ability to be who I am. 

[Anne Bonny]

You know it is alright to express my gender diversity. I am and can be who I am and can continue to express these tendencies that have always been there some are construed to be more male some more female while this is who I have always been throughout my life, and nobody ever made any comment or even noticed. I am now free in manner of dress and in what I desire to to wear...hair, make up, nail polish, jewelry grooming...I am at ease and like smoke blown wherever have not been really to the male but I am free to be there as I desire. There is no stress. The key is that I am comfortable and happy. I like being able to be and being free. I truly enjoy having some connection with the women around me because I feel female inside in part. 

None of this has anything to do with the person that I have always been except that I am free to be more open and to express outwardly the true reflection of who I have always been on the inside. Why is it that our freedom to express ourselves in our appearance should be thought to radically change who we are and have always been on the inside? It doesn't and has nothing at all to do with who we have always been inside it only goes against current conventions for appearance that are out of date and that do need to change as our society advances and evolves over time. I am and have always been a heterosexual person as understood from my male body, I simply and have always preferred and loved and been attracted to physical women as partners and friends. 

I do differ in ways from other males because of the brain I have, as in other ways I do feel comfortable with and close in ways to the women around me. I suppose what I am saying is that I now feel relieved, at rest, at ease, and pleased and happy because there is no longer any need to hide so as not to offend an ignorant and wrongheaded and stubborn society that in many ways is still there and will linger until it fades away. 

It is as if a weight has lifted and my confusion has gone.